| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:32:36 PM | How do you assure them that you didn't mean to?
I love someone whom I met on this site very much and with one of my posts which he saw on here, I offended him. A relationship between us is not possible anymore because we want very different things from life, but I don' t want him to hate me. How can I make things right (we can't be friends because my jealously would consume me) between us? What would be acceptable besides an e-mail apology? | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:41:53 PM | First thing you said "I love...". This, then tells me that you are looking for anything that might be a crack in the impasse.
What type of "thing" did you have from this site? It all depends on that.
I mean....when you say e-mail apology...did it only go online? | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:42:00 PM | I suspect additional posts about him on POF will not win you any favours with him.
You need to let it go. Make an apology if it makes you feel better, however, I doubt it would mean anything to him. Again you need to let it go.
Forgive yourself and move on. | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:43:05 PM | Why worry about trying to be friendly with someone who is obvously acting like a child?
Waaambulances are for people who whine about things they don't like in another's posts! Not mature and sincere effort!
I'd be glad they decided to play wa wa now and did me the favor of leaving me alone. I know I don't need a bunch of delicate flower type (overly sensitive people) in my daily life. Way to much drama!
If I was going to do anything with an e-mail, it would be clicking the little button at the bottom of the page. I'm pretty sure it says "block user". And from you are saying thats just what he's doing. "Using" your kind hearted side against you!
Good luck realizing whats really going on here! | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:59:41 PM | | Tell him to stop crying over something dumb.. If it's pre-determined that you aren't going to be together, then he shouldn't have anything to whine over.. Especially over something as small as a post online.. | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:03:06 PM | I love someone whom I met on this site very much and with one of my posts which he saw on here, I offended him.
You cannot make someone angry. They must become angry.
You cannot offend someone. They must become offended.
I cannot possibly know how he became offended without details. It he misunderstood your intentions, then I think it is his problem. The written word allows people to consider many options on how to react. I dislike negative reactions to positive writing. I prefer questions to anger and offense. If you become offended by my comments and don't ask questions before becoming angry, I will block your email and not worry about how you feel.
This pond is generally shallow. I am looking for deep sea fish. | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/19/2009 9:43:48 PM | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and with one of my posts which he saw on here, I offended him.
Oh my God! You aren't allowed your own opinion?
The guy sounds like a BIG BABY (read Rock Man's post). Be glad that you don't have to adjust your writing style on POF so as not to "offend" him.
Why do you care so much about kissing his ass to make things right when frankly, you didn't DO anything? | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:13:59 PM | Are you sorry that you offended him, or are you sorry that he hates you?
Call or voice mail him and apologize to whichever the two it is.
If you love him let him go. If he loves you he won't let you go. | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:54:50 AM | | Thank you everyone - I really didn't expect so many replies! I have apologized and he accepted it, I think. Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be, but I'll always think of him fondly and hope he thinks of me the same. | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:30:05 AM | I read your previous thread about this guy and I am sorry to report that I don't support your claim that his children are the reason behind him cancelling plans etc with you.
You say the guy is spontanious when it comes to his children...and you are placed on the backburner, and you also say the guy likes to live each day as it comes without expectations and committment.
Sorry but IF this man loves you and respects you he would carry through with arrangements he has made with you.
To use his children as an excuse to break plans with you on a regular basis is so very wrong. Unless there is a genuine reason to break a date which cannot be substituted for 'another day' with the children, then this guy is blowing out of his ar*e hole.
Personally I don't think YOU owe him an appology.....
he owes you an appology for not being upfront an honest with you from the start.
Of course his children should come first.....but they should not be used as an excuse not to be with you.
Jealousy is something only YOU can work through. | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:37:32 AM | After reading the other thread, I would also concur that you owed him no apology either. At six months, I would expect that children could be integrated into time spent with you but it would also appear that he is a childish d!ck who uses his "free spirited" nature as an excuse to shit on people.
I wouldn't bother being friends with someone that blew me off constantly so why would I want a significant other who really didn't care whether he spent time with me or not?
As far as your post, you cannot make someone angry just as you cannot make them accept an apology or even understand where you are coming from. If they won't listen to explanation or accept an apology again, you would want them why? | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:52:42 AM | Well, in his defense, he feels that he was not represented fairly in my first post and called me on it. I was becoming insecure about not seeing him more often and started to second guess the relationship. I gave him many reasons to feel I was flaking out because of my insecurity. He said I should have mentioned that he was very patient with me (he was)..... and that he canceled plans with his kids to see me as well (that is a point that my "jury" is still out on, however, but it's over, so why quibble?) Also, he has had his share of crazies in his dating/married life (haven't we all) and I suppose he is overly sensitive to what he perceives as yet another one. But I'm not one of the dating nuts - really! I am looking for a solid, stable, effective communication-able partner. I want to feel that whomever I am with wants to be with me and is not just hanging around until someone better comes along, which is what I was starting to feel - whether my perception was off (he said it was) or not, I don't know.
Remind me why we want to be in a relationships again? Why we continue to put ourselves through this? | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:57:21 AM | | If someone you love hasn't made you angry, you haven't spent enough time with them. As long as your side of the fence is handled, the rest isn't your job to fix. | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/20/2009 7:14:17 AM | | If as you say, it's not possible to have a relationship with him, then why worry over spilled milk!! Let it go, if you have tired to make good, then it's his problem not yours!! Life is to short to sweat the small stuff!! | |
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| If You Love Someone and You Make Them Angry
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:27:04 AM | It is in our nature as human beings to be a little selfish at times but also to forgive the people we love for being occasionally self absorbed. I know that my friends will piss me off and I will also do the same. But it is how you deal with the aftermath that counts.
Your guy did not seem to understand how hurtful it was to you to change plans at the last minute no matter who called him. Repeatedly being stood up is a perfectly acceptable reason to end a relationship. Why do you care that he is angry? He never took your feelings into consideration when he cancelled plans. | |
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