| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:09:07 PM | While I understand that men are visual creatures, have you all forgotten how to read? I mean seriously, I think my profile spells it all out and I get 1 of the following:
1. Hey baby, you are hot, tell me about you.. (It is in my profile)
2. Sent a sincere email and some men don't have the courtesy to respond. (Are men really that self absorbed and stuck on themselves that they forgot how to be polite in general?)
3. Why oh why do men portray themselves one way and turn out to be the opposite?
I really would love to have some feedback on this.. If there is something in my profile that I am missing, please share.. Thanks guys.. | |
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Bluez
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Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 2 | |
| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:18:26 PM | So many complaints, so little time...
#1 - this kind of thing happens all the time. It's frustrating, you'd think it would be obvious, but this is online dating, it comes with the territory.
#2 - No reply = no interest, plain and simple. Some won't want to hurt your feelings, some won't know what to say or how to say it, some just can't be bothered. The main thing is, you tried, they didn't respond... move on.
#3 - For the same reason women will do the same thing. It's not a gender thing, it's a people thing.
Bluez | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:24:59 PM | | get a few months under your belt and you'll get used to the b.s. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:29:52 PM | Men lose all the blood in their brain after taking one look at you in those dazy dukes.
I lost all the blood in my body actually when I looked at it and I'm only 24 years old.
Think about what it would do to a man twice my age. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:45:35 PM |
3. Why oh why do men portray themselves one way and turn out to be the opposite?
I didn't know deception was a 'gender specific' characteristic. But thanks for letting me know. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:49:12 PM | | Well I didnt see anything in your profile that gave off that impression. As far as the non-responders (as Ill call them), they probably dont want to be rude or know how to let a woman down easy, but I agree that a reply would be polite. After all, its not tht common for a woman to take first initiative in contacting a guy on these sites. Usually its the other way around. And for the last question, Im sorry but thats one of lifes big questions. I will never know why people (not just guys) pretend to be someone (or really are someone) and then change or turn out to be someone completely different that you thought. Ive had my shair of that. Trust me. If you find the answer to that question let me know. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:54:32 PM | I really appreciate all of the responses. They are great. As for men not responding when a woman writes to them, I think it is sad but I do have to admit that women do the same. I guess I am an exception as I feel that if someone takes the time to write a heartfelt note, I have the courtesy to respond with a thank you or no thank you in a polite manner. I guess after being divorced for 9 years, maybe I have become too set in my ways. I think it is alright to have my standards high as I want someone who wants me for me, not who they can make me. Oh the joy of dating, makes me think I should move to a remote island with no drama and headaches. LOL  | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:59:50 PM | You sound lonely and frustrated. Is that your problem, MedicChick? ;)
Hmm. Welcome to the club.  | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:31:56 AM | | You think that's bad? Try swallowing the "unread/deleted" emails which I have no idea why someone would delete an initial email without even reading it. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:32:07 AM | Wow - - - A totally circular rant! This is rare.
1. Hey baby, you are hot, tell me about you.. (It is in my profile)
A1 - So....you feel you don't need to respond to sincere email questions? Um, courtesy, please...???
2. Sent a sincere email and some men don't have the courtesy to respond. (Are men really that self absorbed and stuck on themselves that they forgot how to be polite in general?)
A2 - I suppose it could be that way, I mean who would portray themselves one way and turn out to be the opposite?
3. Why oh why do men portray themselves one way and turn out to be the opposite?
A3 - Like when you ask hot guy an email question and he doesn't respond (It's in his profile).
This circle could go on forever!!! | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:19:27 AM | | Just for the record, I always politely respond to all emails I receive. That is called courtesy. I am smart enough to ask questions that are not already answered in his profile. No need to hate here Wack, sounds to me like you are one of those who can't handle the truth so instead of being honest, you have to attack. Play nice in the sandbox.. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:41:40 AM | | Vent away, OP. Vent away. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:12:37 AM | | I lost interest when i read your first sentence of your profile.Not trying to be mean but your profile seems cold.And i agree with humpty on the other point.You'l hear it all with that pic. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:46:34 AM | Well OP, it's entirely possible that the 1st few sentences in your profile are what's keeping guys from responding. Also, no disrespect, but your 4th paragraph is kinda like the pot calling the kettle black... don't ya think?
Please do not email me asking me to tell you about me. I wrote it in my profile.
So, what are they 'sposed to ask you about??
IDK, it's gonna take a special kind of guy to get involved with you, but I wish you much luck. Hang in there and try not to get discouraged. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:25:27 AM | #1 - Men love picture books. When ordering off of a menu, we mainly make our decisions based on what is shown in the menu.
#2 - Most PEOPLE, have sent emails and not been replied to. I assume most people feel this is normal. I try to reply to everyone who sends me a message.
#3 - This is the internet. You can be who you want to be. A lot of people are on different dating websites to find intimate encounters. Mostly men, very few women. So to increase their chances, they claim to be a "decent" person to get the "good" girls interested.
One thing I like to do, put something in the middle of information... like, "If you're reading this, what is the color of my hat in picture #2?" If you're looking for someone who pays attention to detail and not just looks, you'll find him. Just don't give up.  | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:26:39 AM | | Oh boy. I hadn't even looked at your profile yet. If you want a decent guy... take the last picture in your gallery out. If I was browsing and saw that picture, I don't even need to read your profile. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:34:46 AM | Well I'm not a guy but your profile is a tad scary .... be a bit more upbeat and less negative and maybe you'll get more replies back (??)
But on this site people either reply to you or they don't. We've all had the read/delete to messages. I'm a confident person and send messages out to people all the time ... sometimes I get replies and sometime I don't .. I always try to reply back to people even if it's a rubbish message or they're not my type ... well ok I got a message today from someone saying they'd 'like to lick me all over' so it was a read/delete 
And unfortunately people seem to think everyone is more interesting than they are so they 'fill' out their profile pretending to be/do something that's not true .... Your points can be asked about guys and ladies ...... it's life I'm afraid
Caro  | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:42:27 AM | (1) Lots of men are too stupid to write something else.
(2) Women are much worse about not replying. If you can't get used to sending messages that hang in limbo, internet dating is not for you.
(3) Probably for the same reason women do the same thing. Because it works well enough to reinforce that behaviour. For some, it's probably just a delusion due to the inability to be introspective or the fact that being introspective and actually realizing one has faults and knows what those faults are is often seen as a lack of self-confidence rather than a mark of intelligence. | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:56:22 PM | 1) It's flawed logic: that sort of line might work in a nightclub, so why shouldn't it work here too?
Some people are just not great asking the right thing, or indeed writing in general. (I too am guilty of a few poorly thought out emails)
I normally try to read profiles first and ask questions later, but it is pretty likely that guys will only look at pictures and nothing else.
Actually on a side note: It is really irritating when a profile says nothing at all, with just "mail me to find out more". At least make an effort to put something down as a conversation starter.
/rant over
2) I think I posted something like this in another thread, but it can be quite hard to say "no" without worrying about hurting someones feelings. Unless I was feeling particularly vindictive, I would probably think saying something cold or mean is worse than saying nothing. Contrary to that, it's still polite to respond, that goes for both the guys and the girls.
3) Everyone has to have a selling point. It's easier to lie and try and maybe get something short term, even if it screws you in the long term.
It's also a self-confidence thing, it's easier on our egos to write just nice things about ourselves than admit to our shortcomings. Yes, the truth sucks.
With reference to your profile, it is a bit long and "angry". Granted you are not happy with the mails you have been receiving, but try and make the start a bit more open and approachable. Also, paragraphs dear, use more paragraphs.
Hope all this helps | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:05:18 PM | | Except for your first statement, I find that women on here do the same things. That's just the way that some people are......... | |
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| Why oh Why
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:09:15 PM | OPie...you're profile starts out with a bunch of negatives. That leaves guys two options...read it and ignore it...or simply skip over it.
The thing is, you have a totally positive countenance to you looks, but your words trash that perception.
And darlin..."men" do not portray themselves one way and turn out to be the opposite..."guys" do. Learn the difference and start dating men, not their immature counterparts who are still stuck being inconsistent jerks.
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