| Missing that key ingredient!!
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:40:58 PM | I know that we all say we want "care free" dating and great experiences. I guess what I want is to just bypass all the formalities and find out if we are really compatible. I mean call me picky, but at some point you're dating to find that special someone...not just to find your next ex girlfriend or boyfriend.
I know that I'm no "prize" or at least not in my own eyes (because I'm not where I want to be in life) but I have goals, and plans to execute to make those goals attainable. I am a single father and that also factors heavily in the me dating thing. I don't mind if a woman has children, I guess what I look for when it comes to that are: Are the children well behaved? What is the parenting style of the mother? How receptive is the child to a new male figure in their lives?
I consider these things because I've been on the other side. I only knew my father as a small child back in DC and when my mother started dating again, I wanted nothing to do with it. She found someone she liked (they ended up getting married) who accepted that she had children and still wanted her. For the longest time I hated that she never asked me how I felt about this new man of hers. It felt like to me, she chose him over me. He was abusive towards me and the fact that he wasn't my father made me rebel more than ever. Only now that I am a single parent do I understand that maybe she was just tired of being alone. Good men, it seems are harder to find than good women and she found hers and held on tight. I can't blame her for that. (Only it turns out he was a **stard after all and they are now divorced)
That is a HUGE factor as to why I'm still single. I told myself after my last failed relationship "NO MORE! I'M NOT GOING TO SETTLE!!" I'm not going to like someone just because they give me attention, or like the same tv shows, or because she has kids too. I'm sure there are a million women out there that I may have something in common with, that doesn't mean I should date them all either.
The way I look at it, an analogy says it best: I am making a recipe (relationship). Meatloaf (marriage) is a dish that I have always been fond of, and have tried to perfect over the years. There were times when I was younger I had gone away from that. I had a little too much fast food, (random girlfriends, one night stands) but I've since realized that too much of that is unhealthy for ANYONE. Now this is where I'm getting stuck, I have a good start so far, but there's still a few key ingredients missing. I need to find that missing key ingredient (woman and situation) to make my dish gourmet. Something that I will never tire of having and in fact will only get better with time. Something others wish they had or knew how to make, something people are jealous of. Now there are a million and one different combinations of the same recipe, just like there's usually more than one way to come up with the same answer to a math problem. The trick is to find the one that is right for YOU. I mean someone can try my recipe, (date me) and say it needs more oregano or dill. That's not the one for me. The one for me would say it's perfect except it needs thyme(her) and we both agree that it's the best meatloaf we've ever tasted!
Sorry for all the analogies, it's easier for me that way. Let me know what you think. | |
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