| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:29:33 PM | From someone who grew up without a positive male role model, who didn't realize how truly important good fathers are until you don't have one....Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. You are more important, then you know.
This is not a troll post for attention by the way. I just didn't see any Father's Day threads for today. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:38:24 PM | Actually, Gal, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm a father separated from his children - they live with their mother - but I do my best to be a regular part of their lives.
I have never understood those who can make children, and then make tracks. I have missed so much of my children's lives, it is hard to take some times. But they know I'm always there for them and how much I love them. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:42:41 PM | Ok, why was this thread picked for deletion??? When Mother's Day came around, threads about that were allowed. What the hell man?
God, some people on here are just delete happy for no good reason. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:06:38 PM | Thank you for two things. As a Father of five, thank you for the wish. Secondly, thank you for acknowledging the role a Father may have played in your life.
As a Father who has not seen his three younger children since 27/12/06, I know I have missed a lot in their lives. My two older children are from a previous marriage. Their Mother and I continued to work together to raise two fine young adult even after our personal relationship was over. I had a wonderful Father's Day with them.
Unfortunately the mother of my three youngsters is just the opposite and has made me having a relationship with them impossible. Women who do their best to make life as hard as possible for the ex's have no idea the damage they do to the children they profess to love.
Here is an article I had published last year on Father's day:
Father's Day And It's Going To Be A Hard One
It has been awhile since I have written here. I have something on my mind that is on the mind of many Father's across Canada and the world. That thought is that they will not see their children today nor will they have contact of any kind due to the interference of their former partner. Yes I know there are some women out there that are in the same boat but it affects far more men.
It also seems that the children's aid agencies, the family law system, and the courts are all extremely bias against men in general. Men are frequently accused of all kinds of offenses to get them out of the family home. Everything from domestic violence, to assault, sexual assault, to child abuse and on and on. When these charges are proven to be false, the accuser goes unaccountable for her actions and the damage to the man goes on and on for the rest of his life.
Loss of family, home, ability to live off of a greatly reduced income, loss of employment, friends, involvement in organizations, bankruptcies, and finally the loss of life at their own hands in some cases. In Ontario, in 2006, 400 men who where involved in a marital breakdown took their lives. Many for the reasons listed above. Where is the out cry across the land for these men? If the same statistic held true for women, you would never hear the end of it.
As I sit here in and write, I am in an apartment where I live above my 78 year old father. It is all I can afford. It has been five years since the end of my marriage and my family at the hands of my ex-wife. It has taken that long to get my life back on track. Thanks to friends and family that stood by me and getting myself immersed in spirituality, physical activity, and music, I have been able to survive. I have met a wonderful person and I am getting ready to move on with my life with her. My three younger children will not be going along.
I have two older children that are still in my life and we will be in contact today. This is because their Mother and I decided to put our differences aside and be parents to raise two great children who have turned out to be two great young adults. I have seen what happens to children whose father has been pushed out of their lives by the Mother. I fear for my own.
Why not fight for my kids you might ask. Well for one I and any other man who is in the "system" can not afford the legal cost. There exists all kinds of government and privately sponsored support groups for women but there is nothing and I mean nothing for men. Not one Provincial or Federal nickel is spent on men in family or relationship trouble. Yes men are just one percent lower in reported cases of domestic violence but there is no help for them.
While anti domestic violence ads spread across the nation prominently showing the man as the aggressor I can personally tell you that it just does not happen to the woman. All this adds to the grief and horror that a great many men are feeling today. While we are vilified for even holding our daughter's hands while on a walk, women are painted as "We can do no wrong".
In ending my blog with something directly from home, the Father of Karissa Boudreau will not be seeing his daughter today. Yesterday, the Mother was charged with the murder of Karissa. It is perceived that she was beaten to death. Her body was found less than a quarter of a mile from my home. Today I will go to the make shift memorial at the site and say a prayer for her and her Father.
As the song “Concrete Angel” by Martina McBride plays in my head,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLwwy-g2wkc
As a foot note to this Blog, this February, Penny Boudreau was convicted of murder in the death of her daughter. She had been strangled with a piece of twine less than 1/2 mile from my home. The court transcript records Karrisa's last words as "Mommy don't".
Happy Father's Day to all of the Dads that are without their children today because of parental interference. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:52:21 PM | I never said I picked for deletion...thought someone might that is all gal.I see no-one has.Actually thought it was a nice gesture of yours.sorry you misunderstood.
PS I dont pick to delete and answer the op as well....that would be rude.
read your post..thank you gal.things get confusing in here sometimes not knowing who's talkin to who | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:54:04 PM | Mavcom Art, I am sorry to hear about you not being able to see your younger children. I do agree, that while children need to be protected, I think the law has gone too far in some areas by forcing fathers out of their children's lives forever. And I do know, that some women make false claims during divorce out of bitterness.
My father was very abusive to my mother, however, even though he was putting her through hell during the divorce, she still left the choice up to us on whether we wanted to see him or not. But due to the way he treated her, I personally decided to cut ties with him eventually. However, since I have not had a father in my own life for so many years, it just makes me realize how important having a good one is, and I wish my brother and I, did have one to call every once in while for support.
If nothing else, my negative experiences with my own father, have made me appreciate all the good fathers I see out there on a daily basis, whether it be at the grocery store, the mall, at work, etc. I envy their children.
I do think the law needs to recognize that it's just as important for a man to be in their child's life as well, after a divorce, not just the mother's. Child support is important but so is a man's ability to be able to spend some time with his children. It does make a difference in our lives over time. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:55:41 PM | | northernbill, I wasn't talking about you. Someone (not you) did try to pick this thread for deletion right after I posted it, but apparently enough posts reversed that decision so it looks like it's staying. Sorry for the confusion. (I have no idea who decided to try and delete this thread originally) | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:04:08 PM | there was another thread for Father's Day here in off topic. I posted to it yesterday, but it got ignored. There are a couple in the single parents forum too, but again, mostly ignored Sad isn't it?
But thank you for your recognition. It is much appreciated. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:21:23 PM | I don't have one. This day is horrendous for me. Well I guess I have one but he tore up his parent card by deciding to use me for his personal gratification while I was growing up. Hence the no longer having one.
Hearing the constant ads for this day are a strain. Why can't people just celebrate it without it being decided by the media?
I hope people who have good, regular dads realize how lucky they are. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:41:28 PM | Wiggle, I'm so sorry you've had to endure that. That's something I've never understood, either...how a father could betray such an important trust. Molesting a child is worthy of the worst punishments imaginable. But molesting your own child?
But I salute the fact that you're strong enough to rise above it. And dedicate myself to being as good or better a dad as I can be to honour that sacred trust, and to be worthy of it. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 5:03:02 PM | Thanks stargazer....I don't understand it either. It's the non-understandable. And that is what makes things so hard for children that are products of such stuff. There's just no reality on this earth that matches with it, for me. It's crazy-making. The hard part is that survivors can't just wear a T-shirt explaining why they do the things they do.
Frequently, they're just labelled by the behaviors they employ (resulting from ptsd) to survive the rest of their lives. So lives, psyches, and things are made harder and just compound and snowball. Thx for lettin' me babble.
Every time I see or hear of a good dad, I just melt. | |
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| Happy Father's Day
Posted: 6/21/2009 5:15:32 PM | | Oh this is interesting! You celebrate Father's Day at the end of June and we celebrate it (in Australia) at the beginning of September.....................I wonder why it's different when Mother's Day is the same. | |
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