| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:14:02 PM | I guess the title says it all. For some reason I really dont get any emails on this site from women. No this is not a pity me type of thing. I surely dont mind it. I send out emails to women that intrigue me so I'm quite alright. The thing that bothers me is when I do get an email from a woman its " Wanna chat?"
Really now?? Your joking right? Dont get me wrong I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it but it just seems that guys have to describe what they like, why they are interested in chatting etc. etc. but all the women that email me just ask if I wanna chat.
Well, no I dont want to chat with you, you couldnt even take the time to tell me a little about yourself and it makes me wonder if you even read or looked at my profile at all. Why do these women think that this is acceptable? Is it something about my profile that says "Requires no effort"?
Correct me if I'm wrong ladies but you like a man to be a little witty and take the time to write a lil about themselves in an email before you would even respond correct?
Are any other men expierencing this ??
 | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:27:07 PM | My brotha!
You want the honest truth? You can blame us for it... you can blame men. Men are idiots at times and when you are a beautiful woman you have the power to get these slobs to do whatever you want whenever you want with a bat of an eye. A woman typically doesn't HAVE to make an effort because there is always some dolt who thinks if he does her bidding, maybe, just maybe, she'll give him "her number."
Hey, laugh, cuss me, whatever, it's true. And YES I know not all women are like that... I really truly do, so if you're a lady who understands where I am coming from and who isn't like that, you don't have to defend yourself - I am quite well aware you do indeed exist. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:37:13 PM | Welcome to the world of internet dating!! 
If I had a nickle for every time I got a message that said "U R HAWT... WANNA CHAT?" with a spaced-out chat addy attached, I'd be so rich I could buy myself a date!! 
There are those of us who do take the time to actually write a nice message... whether it's first contact or a reply... hang in there, OP... you gotta toss a lot of funky fishies back in the pond before you find a keeper or three. 
 | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:07:12 PM | I think I actually added a bit to my profile to cover that since those types of people aren't usually much for forums and won't see how many people hate that. That would require actually thinking, reading and coming up with at least a half-baked response in order to get attention drawn to themselves. I've also had to recommend a few install Mozilla Firefox and turn on the spell check feature in it. I think such life support for the English language is in vein though.
Really though ... the people "type lyk dis 2 u" do you really want to see more than one line of it? | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:33:36 PM | You must be new to internet dating.
Internet dating sites are largely a joke and not a real way to meet women for reasons I don't even want to bother getting into. Don't expect to get replies from women and don't expect a lot of women to contact you first, and definately don't expect quality messages. Use this site as kind of a passive effort to get women but don't put a lot of effort into it yourself because the return on investment is horrible. Pick up women IRL instead.
I myself am on the forums much more than on the actual site. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:41:20 PM |
Are any other men expierencing this ??
Yes. I get personal emails from ladies globally (primarily due to forum posts), yet locally I only got the "wanna chat?" email (when they first contacted me).
I interpret it as that is the type of relationship they want so I either don't respond or I counter with either "not really, let's do something meaningful," or, "wanna meet?" I usually don't get a response.
I am wondering if perhaps the "wanna chat?" women are actually some sort of "bot" with nefarious designs. Maybe they are Chinese hackers trying to infiltrate the infrastructure via lonely men. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:39:23 PM |
Internet dating sites are largely a joke and not a real way to meet women for reasons I don't even want to bother getting into. Don't expect to get replies from women and don't expect a lot of women to contact you first, and definately don't expect quality messages. Use this site as kind of a passive effort to get women but don't put a lot of effort into it yourself because the return on investment is horrible. Pick up women IRL instead.
Thats a positive attitude lol I'm new to this site and cant say what I think about the internet dating just yet. You on the otherhand seem like youve had some bad expierences. Sorry about that. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:01:06 PM | Like the guy a few posts earlier said good looking women are inundated by guys vying for her time. She goes for 'veneer' and after the novelty wears off the 'veneer' isnt enough so without a second thought she dumps him and makes the same mistake again and again until they arrive at a place where they just go through the motions.
Good looking women want it all but as Jennifer Aniston openly admits going for the 'veneer' bad boy types isnt what its made out to be but they keep going there nevertheless.
From a guys perspective is it better to try and pursue such people or is it better to look for a women who has more than just looks and attitude? | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:45:17 PM | OP, you are not alone in receiving the “wanna chat” emails. This writer receives a fair share of such emails, typically on the weekend nights.
Quality women will write insightful and meaningful emails. And yes, Virginius, these women do exist, and do compose quality emails. Some of these emails will be initiated by them, others will be replies to your emails. It is a numbers game, and if you play it right, occasionally you will get the desired type of correspondence.
“wanna chat?” emails are POF equivalent of junk emails. They are not quality contacts and typically they come from women who can’t compose much more than the expression above or from intoxicated fishies who are too drunk to play a solitaire on their computer, yet barely capable of hitting their keyboard ten times. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:08:35 PM | OP:
I can see where you're coming from wanting more out of a first contact, but have you actually tried chatting with one of them or ask what they wanna chat about? I'm sure some of them could be bots like some people mentioned, but maybe they've gone through the whole process of writing emails to other men about themselves that fits your criteria only to find it has been read/deleted with no reply....I can imagine they'd begin to feel it was a waste of time even writing it. Maybe it would be better if they sent a generic copy/paste email telling a little about themselves?
Do you read their profiles to find out if they're someone you'd want to chat with?
I've gotten some of the "wanna chat" emails myself and I'll answer with a "sure, what do you wanna chat about?" Some of them never reply, some of them I can tell within the first ten minutes of chatting if they're interesting enough, some of them I say no thanks because I don't see compatibility in their profile and some of them I still chat with off and on. So I can relate to where you're coming from, but this is online dating and some people can accept being rejected or ignored better if they don't give too much of themselves away to a stranger. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/28/2009 2:15:47 PM |
For some reason I really dont get any emails on this site from women.
Your personal info, looks like something id see from a chicks page.
Maybe you should keep it more " Guys guys " With bit of C*o*c*k*y'ness
and add a little fun time in it? *IMO*
But to be honest,
Men browsing - just looking for sex looks at pictures..
(Most) Women dont browse - If they get an email, they only look at pictures
because they have too many emails to chose from.
So whos hot! is what gets on the A game list of " Whos getting it "
Are any other men experiencing this ??
Yeah, i had one yesterday only put " I think your cute " . I get them only from time
to time.. And yes, if you only said that to a female, you would get the
" Read-Delete" Spam in your sent box all day..
Yes it does suck we have to be everything in a email they're looking for in a man,
but when it comes down to it.. YOU have to be hotter then the other guys that
emailed her THAT day, THAT time, to get a foot in.. Because there is in fact
more men, then females on this site to pick from. | |
|
RMH_84
|
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 12 | |
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:28:04 PM | I wll admit to being a huge offender on the one sentence first contact email - untill I realized it did'nt get me the responce I wanted! the one person (out of about 30) who did send me a message back I found was really only after ****ing with people's heads on the internet.
now even if it's a short first message (what I really want is the guy to read my profile and think he wants ME!) I try to make some comment about what I read in their profile, and ask a real question that they migth actually be interested in answering.
I unfortunately had a harassment problem (in RL), so have my profile hidden right now - seems OK though cause I only got messages from 50 somethings who had no pictures and no profile to speak of. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/28/2009 4:22:22 PM | Every first contact from women I have received were poorly written or incoherent one line emails. I even got one that just said "Sup" as the entire message. The thing is though, is that I really don't care. She just showed enough interest in me to email me so I will take a look at their profile to see if I have the same interest for her. If her profile interests me then I'll message her back.
I really don't put a lot of importance on first messages, the simple fact of saying hello is the only ice breaker I need. I also really do have a hard time blaming someone for not writing what I am looking for when that person has no way of knowing what I am looking for in an opening message.
It does bug me though that there are some women who expect messages of Shakespearean quality from me on a first contact, especially when they don't write anything on their own profiles themselves. I write decent and genuine stuff but still, common, this site should be about people not literature. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:45:40 PM |
Internet dating sites are largely a joke and not a real way to meet women for reasons I don't even want to bother getting into. Don't expect to get replies from women and don't expect a lot of women to contact you first, and definately don't expect quality messages. Use this site as kind of a passive effort to get women but don't put a lot of effort into it yourself because the return on investment is horrible. Pick up women IRL instead.
But you realize that dating sites are just a microcosm of society at large? As such the people are the same. These ARE the people you'd meet "IRL", the difference is when used *properly* (something most people cannot/will not do) dating sites offer a huge advantage in being able to learn something more about the person prior to actually meeting them, and thus saving a lot of time/effort. | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:56:51 PM | | This sounds like an interesting issue. I think that you should try asking questions in your initial email! That way they will answer them and ask you the same in return. At least that is the norm for me so who knows! Give it a shot and let me know! | |
|
| Where is the effort at??
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:49:41 AM | We learned it from you. ("we" being "women in general," and "you" being "men in general.") Those are the kinds of "efforts" we are used to seeing, I guess it rubbed off on some of the women here.
Not that I'm sending out emails these days, but when I did, and I wrote a nice, polite email expressing my interest in communicating, my emails were ignored just as much as you ignore the "wanna chat" girls. So it's "damned if you do, damned if you don't." | |
|
Home
login 
