| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:12:13 PM | After having been SINGLE for a long time, I feel now getting very comfortable with my SINGLE status and even feel as if I am getting better and better at that as time goes by.
This is one scary thought because I do not want to be alone.
Does anybody feel that way?
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:21:12 PM | Shug the fact that you are concerned means you will NOT doom yourself to being single forever. People generally are wired to want to be with another person intimately, so when the timing is right, with the right person, you will give up singlehood, unless you are in your 40's then it gets a lot harder...
There is NOTHING wrong with enjoying being single, and not having to answer to anyone, or having to share anything with another person. I think sometimes people put to much pressure on others for being single, and treat it as if it is a disease, it is not, and I see nothing wrong with being happily single, instead of miserably attached...
I spent over a year not dating, and just hanging with myself... I have to admit I actually enjoyed that time... I didn't answer the phone when I didn't want to, and I didn't have to explain to anyone why I was running around in tee shirt in panties at 5 PM, because I was just hanging with myself...
Life is meant to be enjoyed, and if you are enjoying why feel bad about it??? | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:45:15 PM | | I love being single. The older I get, I become less judgmental about the reasons why folks are folks. (The rules change if I have the misfortune of living with someone, however.) I just plain am a hater. I know myself well enough by now and have zero tolerance for bullsh1t of all kinds. I don't need/desire a partner any longer. I have some fine buzzing toys for that occasional itch I suffer. I have a fine stack of cash. If I feel charitable, I give my advice and am known for generosity...just leave my time, sanity, and health unfettered, please!! Count your blessings, bro...being a so-called partner and a parent are the most thankless positions people die for (and go broke over) on this plane. Feelings and moods change on a dime. You'd be a cute roll in the hay, however...Good luck! Love, Titus | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:54:40 PM | Yes, I've had those scary thoughts on occasion.
I've never really thought of remaining single, but I seem to be happy and unwilling to be with anyone I can't fall in love with. I cannot do a relationship because it's convenient or practical, and would prefer to hang out with my friends/family than go on a mediocre date, lol. M | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:07:49 AM | I know! It scares me too!!
I guess that I have tried and found that it is not worth the trouble, really...
BUT: on the other hand, I would like to find My guy.
My guy, who I can actually LIVE with and LOVE!!
and, who will love me back - sigh...
It hurts to put yourself out there and also, there is the time issue. We are all so busy. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:06:21 AM | No wonder I'm alone...the club meets on tuesdays. I show up on thursdays hoping to meet someone, and no one's there....
If you get used to being single, you stop looking, and oddly enough that seems to give people the room to hit on you. so, you'll find someone, unless they can read the fact you're scared to be alone.
After 6 yrs of unintended loneliness, I find I have more fun alone. So yes, you do find you can run on your own schedule, do your own thing your own way, and have fun. Unless you make for lousy company  But good luck in the dating pool if that's the case.... | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:10:23 AM | I can't connect the fact that you're getting used to being single with the fact that you're afraid of being alone. The two are not connected. Do you mean afraid in the sense that you think you should be afraid to end up alone? A lot of people get brainwashed into thinking that's a death sentence.
If you're truly getting used to being single, being alone doesn't bother you unless you're talking about ALONE alone where you have no friends or family. Then I can see your point.
I like being alone a lot, but I'm not forced to be. To me single and alone aren't the same, and having an SO around me isn't the only way to avoid being alone. If I never run across someone I really want to be with, I'll take being single forever gladly. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:16:31 AM | | I've been single most of me life apart from passing fancies so to speak and sure I know where your coming from with this issue x You don't have to date or do anything you don't want to and I think when you realise that your a free person with your own choices it does get easier. I've started seeing someone and thought I'd continue feeling that I wanted my own space etc but actually I don't we just get on and muddle along together and in my view it's simply about going easy on yourself and taking things as they come x | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:41:01 AM | | Absolutly not. Then again I am not one of the needy co dependent women out there who "needs" a man. Being single (6 years now) has not been so bad. I have met a couple (2) men along this journey who I thought were worth the time and they were not...however being alone provides a lot of sanity for me. I do not think anyone necessarily wants to be alone, but sometimes the other option is worse. I am very happy, and I keep busy. I have a horse, I go to the gym, I am in College, and I have some really, really good friends. Keeping busy and keeping priorities straight is the key. What is meant to happen will. Enjoy it. You may really be amazed at how much you learn about yourself. Being single and being alone to me are not the same...and I am not really sure what you are "afraid" of. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:57:27 AM | | I've been single 25 years and have loved every minute of it. Now of course I've had several long term relationships and 3 of them got to the engagement stage and for various reasons didn't happen. I like the idea I can come home to a quiet house, my house is as it was when I left, I don't have to share my bathroom and my bed. Since I really have bad sleeping habits (I only sleep a couple hours at a time) this is a really big plus. It's been my experience that when I have stopped looking for a relationship, the guys come out of the wood work. The best part about being single is if I don't want to be alone I can go anywhere I want to, see anyone I want. Independence rocks. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:07:16 AM | After having been SINGLE for a long time, I feel now getting very comfortable with my SINGLE status and even feel as if I am getting better and better at that as time goes by.
This is one scary thought because I do not want to be alone.
Does anybody feel that way?
Yes, I can completely relate! lol | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:47:48 AM | Read my "FEAR as a motivating factor" post.
Oh, sure, I feel that way! I know God loves me, but sometimes it ain't enough--I require a soft, warm honey there too who responds favorably to my kisses and caresses, and I'm afraid that I'll fall out of the rythm of doing that and will be like a clueless teenager who doesn't know what the f--k to do.
Not to worry, though--it's like riding a bike; you never forget how. Once she's there in your arms, the old vibes will return and you'll know what to do. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:38:08 AM | | Okay, I'm 51 (which I'm almost positive is a clerical error somewhere) and have chosen to not marry. Well, I came close once and it ended badly 3 days before the blessed event. Nevertheless, I'm out there, I date, I have a social life, I travel as I please. I am very used to being single, and I have no 'fear' of being alone at the end of all things. Granted, I have the option to change my mind at some point, but for now I'm pretty much okay with it all. I would like to meet a lady with whom I'm compatible and marry - better late than never - but if I don't, c'est la vie. I've had a very full life as it is and my regrets are few. We are all the masters of our own destiny and our lives are pretty much as we want them to be. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:48:43 AM | What is to fear? Nothing.
A relation should only be an enrichment to a complet individual's life; never a compliment, a supplement or a even worst, a dependency.
Beside, spending time single is a great way to know yourself better, to explore areas of your life that was untouched, to recharge yourself to your full potential so you can be a better person...with another person.
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:59:56 AM | I know what the future will bring, I'm creating it with my thoughts today. Therefore, my goal for each day is to be happy and productive. While I do not have a partner, I have met some pretty awesome men this year as well as being able to look back and realize that most of my past relationships were good, at the time. So, why not expect the future to continue with even better and better results? The universe keeps dishing up yummies, eventually the one that is "just right" will show up! In the meantime, I'm going to do my best to enjoy myself so that when someone does show up, I'm happy and rearing to go!
I think you should be happy that you're getting used to being single. It means you can be happy as you are, with yourself. Develop a lifestyle that pleases you. This way when you do meet people, you have some sort of criteria, based on experience, to determine if they will fit with your preferred lifestyle. You're getting to know YOU better and I'm just saying I think it is time well spent and to be cherished. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 12:04:07 PM | I don't know why at certain points in my life finding a partner has been as simple as falling over, and yet now I can't seem to do it. I guess I'm just not willing to "settle" anymore.
Yes, I'm going to go with that, I'm not willing to settle. 
~Justin | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:07:39 PM | | And that's all it amounts to "not willing to settle". I'm getting more used to being alone, some of it's by choice, some of it's just because I haven't met the right woman yet. Either way, I' d rather be alone than miserable. | |
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| I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:36:02 PM | Your not the only one. I'm the same way. Let's see todays my birthday & I am 25. Been single for 7 years. Ocassional booty calls/friends with benefits, but still remain single.
In my opinion, which doesn't make me correct is that Women are too demanding, and most have unreal expectations. And some just seem too damn superficial. In today's world it doesn't seem like we are unique individuals, but rather indesposible.
I am a loner, so it doesn't bother me to have been single for the last seven years. | |
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