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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Am I really as old as they are??      Home login  
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 starman89506
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 1
Am I really as old as they are??Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I was reading some post about men and women wanting to date younger people. I was wondering if it was about how we see ourselves.
Do you find yourself looking at people your age and seeing someone way too old to be your age?
The people around me seem to be getting older (how does that happen?) :)
 parrothead 13
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 2
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:56:29 AM
I have met people in their fifties and even older who seem young to me. I think its attitude that keeps you thinking forward and enjoying the moment. those who seem old seem stuck in the past and dont enjoy the moment or think with hope on the future. a lot of folks just want someone who is hopeful and enjoying the moment not stuck in the past. common sense (which i realize is not all that common) would indicate the younger the person, the less past they have to get stuck in!
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 3
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:05:19 AM
My friend (male) and I always laugh at ourselves. We play volleyball, and when we describe someone, we might say something like, "She's an older player." Then we giggle and say "Older than who?" She is probably about 10 years younger than we
are!

In the dating realm, I go two ways: Some days I look at men my age and think how attractive I find so many of them. Then other days, I'm all depressed because "this is all there is?"

In general, my taste runs toward men who are in their late 30s as being the "hottest"--always has, too.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 4
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:11:22 AM
Hi Star,

Yes all the time I say wow he/she is looking old. Then I laugh and I think to myself wow they are probably thinking the same thing about me... I really do not think we see ourselves too well. lol

thecatsmeoww
 Artz
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 5
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:11:35 AM
I see people that are actually younger then I am and they look like they are 20 years older. Appearance is often a reflection of who that person is on the inside.
An active mind and body will keep your spirit young and alive.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 6
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:25:27 AM
There's chronological age, biological/physical age, and mental age. Chronological age is an unreliable indicator, but most commonly and easily used and calculated. I am often perceived as "younger" than my "age," especially when compared to my chronological "peers."
 *Starstuff*
Joined: 6/16/2009
Msg: 7
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:47:19 AM
I had to laugh at myself a couple of years ago. I went to a concert in my little town. It was Andean music and it was held in a local church. It was a very good concert but in describing the concert and the other attendants, I told a friend, "It was mostly gray-hairs there." Of course not realizing when I first said it, that I also am a gray-hair. Yikes! I've had increasingly salt and pepper hair since I was in my late 30s and I was trying to get across that it was people mostly in their 60s and 70s.

Whew.

p.s. My chronological age is 58, my physical age is 58, my mental age is about 25.
 Elle Kaye
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 8
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:50:42 AM
Well, Starman, I'm as old as dirt! But there's not one danged thing I can do about it. I could start my profile with, "People say I look much younger" or other such claptrap, but this is what I look like, here in my sixties. THIS is what sixty-something looks like. I live in Minneapolis, not in denial.
As I troll through the Pond, I do occasionally wonder about someone whose posted age doesn't seem to be in sync with the pictures. "Hmmmmmm. He musta been rode hard and put away wet!" But a pic doesn't stop me from reading a profile. I want to know about the makings of an individual, not the wrapper.
I'm looking for that sparkle in the eyes that tells me he is still looking for new and interesting things. And the ability to write a complete sentence about what he really is all about. Age isn't just a state of mind; it's a damned fact.
For me, it's all about living in the moment, taking advantage of my accumulated experience and wisdom, having one heck of a time for the next few decades. "Exit: laughing!"
I refuse to bemoan the fact that the mirror tells me I'm no longer 23, (or 53, for that matter). Over it. So, so over it.
I'm not ready to pick out an ice flow, following the old Eskimo custom. I'd rather find a really great roller coaster.
 rubygirl47
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 9
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:51:49 AM
Amen! I have not met many men my age or older who are not "Old Men", and I am 62. Many of the women I have met since I moved here to SC do look and act older than they are. Recently, I met a woman who I thought was my age. When I asked her how old she was she said "50". When people tell me I don't look 62, I often wonder if it is how I look or my attitude. However, I have always had younger friends; so maybe that has something to do with it? What came first, the chicken or the egg? LOL

I have not lived a "conventional" life, so maybe that's what I feel sets me apart from many women my age who have had the whole marriage and family thing for most of their lives.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 10
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:05:12 AM

Do you find yourself looking at people your age and seeing someone way too old to be your age?
The people around me seem to be getting older (how does that happen?)

Yup. Busted!!!! I do it all the time. I'll see a picture of someone, click on it to get the lowdown and then find my thoughts straying to "Holy cow, what's an old person like this doing on here" and then I discover they are even younger than me or just slightly older. I keep having to remind my inner child/teenager that I've had a few more birthdays that my junior alzheimers seems to have forgotten about.

With all kidding aside, when I was first became ill and after my first few chemos, I would look in the mirror and see an old and haggard woman looking back. I was stunned to see what disease can do to a person. Even though I am not a particularly vain person, I can happily say that the road to recovery has been kinder to me than the journey into disease was.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:08:38 AM
It is all a matter of perception, and self perception can be one of the most diluted mirrors that one can look into......

I hang with many that are up to 20 years younger, and quite a few that are more than 10 years older, and it has seldom been the date on their drivers license that proved their visual appearance, but much more genetics, life style, fitness, and how well one has stayed away from age producing activities, like smoking, drugs, the sun, etc.

Ruby.......I just checked out your profile, and I applaud your mental image of yourself, your youthful thinking, and attitude, but if that picture is truly representative of what you look like, you more than match the age on your birth certificate.

This is not meant to insult you, since you brought it up, but reality can be difficult for many, and others are to nice to say what is, compared to what they think you want to hear. Maybe you need more pictures to show more of what you think your body says about your age, but for now, with what is there, you match your profile.

Just my opinion.......
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 12
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:10:57 AM

Do you find yourself looking at people your age and seeing someone way too old to be your age?
Often I find that men my age look older than I at least feel I look. More often than not, I do not find them physically attractive. They also act older. It is my experience that men who are around 10 years younger than I are interested in me when they meet me in real life. They do not know how old I am, obviously, because people just don't walk up to other people and say 'how old are you?' And they assume I am about their age. I'm sure this happens to a lot of people. Some people my age look about my age to me, others look a lot older. I've posted before and I really believe it, aging varies with people--we age differently, and it depends on genetics and lifestyle.
 starman89506
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 13
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:29:28 AM
My Grandmother use to say " I feel 25 , where did this old body come from?"
I am beginning to understand her question.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 14
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:36:42 AM
I don't want to date younger men ... I want to date men who appear TO ME to be approximately the age I appear TO ME to be!!!

when I look in the mirror, I'm SHOCKED to see how old I LOOK ... I FEEL the same as I felt when I was 30 or 45 ... I think I move the same way ... but I'm lookin pretty old!

sometimes, the men who STATE they are my age ... appear far older than the face I see in the mirror ... who appears far older than I FEEL! and they MOVE so old ... making those men Really Old!

it's a puzzle ... I bump into friends from school ... and they look so OLD ... I'm sure they're thinking that about me ... I remember when we were giggling over some stupid thing ... plucking eyebrows! ... how much hip wiggle was too much hip wiggle! ... jeans that were too tight! ... tops that exposed the fact that we hadn't developed yet! and yet, there they stand ... old. hmmm ...

my mind hasn't changed much ... only for the better! ... but I sure wish I had that body I had 40 years ago ... I'd settle for the body I had 15 years ago! I had some good times in those younger version of me bodies ... sigh.

 justme1201
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 15
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:49:09 AM

Do you find yourself looking at people your age and seeing someone way too old to be your age?


Yup. Although it's mostly that they seem to *act* too old for me... :-P

I always say, I'm too YOUNG for my age!
 Elle Kaye
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 16
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:51:59 AM
Yup, Starman; ain't it the truth.
Some mornings, after a bad night's "sleep", (another problem with maturing) the old lady from the Clapper commercial appears in my bathroom mirror. Yikes!
 Trishayellowrose
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 17
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:54:22 AM
I think as I read this I am thinking, Wow I am older than Dinosaur Days as my son's tell me is when I was born.
I think it is totally being young at heart.
I get along with younger people and enjoy being with them.

I remember running into someone from high school. I really didn't recognize them but they did me.
Afterwards I thought boy they look old. Then tell self, "You are the same age"

I have thought about walking on hands to get gravity to go the other direction.

The funniest is when you look in mirror and see your Grandmother looking back.

Pat
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 18
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:54:35 AM
star said: My Grandmother use to say " I feel 25 , where did this old body come from?"
I am beginning to understand her question.

Indeed no problem with the body part but what the heck happened to my face?? So that is the point I took the matter in hand and decided it was time to fill every single line I could spot with some super duper cream. It's is working soon I will be a teen again..

Dream on as they say!!

thecatsmeoww
 candid_1
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 19
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:06:38 AM
I'm turning 45 in a few weeks and when I meet men my age, half the time, I say, Holy Crap... do I look that old? I don't want to date old men, but I don't want to date boys either. What kills the deal are guys who look decades older than me even though they're younger. Mentally, I find that to some degree my choice of partner is an extension of my self and my self worth...

Maybe it's because I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I am a mature, responsible adult - I don't see me that way, which may be why I don't see me with an "old" man. Maybe it's more about me than them... and that's not to say that some old dudes aren't hotties and yes, I know we all get old. Sean Connery is still hot, but would I do him? I don't think so not unless I kept my eyes closed or was blind. Is it really shallow or superficial that I can accept grey hair and some wrinkles, but paunches and liverspots? Yikes. Not until I have my own.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 20
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:25:49 AM
Yes, guilty as charged...

I often find men my own age, just look older to me...remind me of my dad? And many also have an "older" mindset..

I'm not sure it has anything to do with my age..because I have mostly dated guys younger ( 5-10 years) than me all my adult life, just seems to be who I match up with, or who I attract,because it is not a conscious choice..but, as I get older I find that a lot of men at my age just seem to have aged differently than I did..I know at my last reuinion, for the most part, the women looked younger than the men did..though I speculate this may have something to do with women being a bit more concerned about looking older, and taking extra measures to look younger than men do(generally).

I don't feel or think my age, if I go by what other men in my age group seem to project..and just seem to match better with guys in their forties for the most part.
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 21
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 12:38:11 PM
When I was a kid I had grandparents and parents. Then I grew up. I got as old as my parents had been when I was a kid, then as old as my grandparents. If the trend continues, I may even get as old as my great-grandparents were when they were the age I attain. I am suspicious of where this all is heading.

Age is not taking me by surprise, no matter what else it does. People seem to talk about aging like they could do anything about it. I know it can take some adjustment, but aside from the personal identity homework, it's too bad when aging gets in the way of loving. If a man or woman is older than you want, then anyone younger will become that in time anyway, so maybe it's best to avoid people who age lest there come that day when they got too old for you despite having snagged them when they were still young enough.

Grant me the privilege of aging and I will do the same for you. I'd prefer not to be resented as a reminder of the inevitable.
 superb_life
Joined: 6/16/2009
Msg: 22
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:03:00 PM
It's interesting to find this thread going this afternoon, as I just took part in a workshop exercise this morning designed to uncover our personal attitudes about aging. In the first part of the exercise, we completed a series of questions that led us to reveal our feelings about aging...and I surprised myself with my conclusion, that aging is a gift.

The second part of the exercise involved naming three elderly persons who have impacted our lives and then listing five characteristics we associate with that person. Among the traits I listed for the three persons were: strength, gentleness, vitality, independence, forceful, energetic, loving, and witty. All of the people I referenced are between 75 and 85, and are phenomenal examples of living well and accepting their stage of life gracefully without allowing it to be a negative.

Farceur has said it well: it's too bad when aging gets in the way of loving.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 23
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:21:21 PM

Grant me the privilege of aging and I will do the same for you. I'd prefer not to be resented as a reminder of the inevitable.


Dang farceur...now I feel bad...I hope I am not letting it get in the way of love...

I certainly don't discount anyone because of their age alone...just noticed that if a guy reminds me of my dad, there is an "ick" factor...

Getting older has had its surprises, and most of them not so pleasant...and I really think people who are going through the same issues would be more likely to understand...but, sometimes it seems they have let it keep them from having fun anymore...
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 24
Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:57:32 PM
I think my age is funny, in a horrible kind of way.
I can't believe I'm 53. Where did it go??? WTH??? lol..I grew up in a family where the women just NEVER admitted to their age. In fact, my grandmother blanked it out so much she couldn't remember her date of birth and we celebrated the wrong day as her birthday - only discovered this after she died. And my father is still getting over how he was cheated - he thought my mother was 19 when he married her and she was 21.
I'm telling you - really dysfunctional!
I find putting down your age here a little rude - why can't we just list "in our 40s" or "in our 50s"?
But as far as other people looking way older than me - nah. I think we all look the same age. We're just kidding ourselves to think "Oh people think I look 35 when I'm nearly 60!" It's total bs. People tend to think you're the same age as them, if you are getting on well.
 Trishayellowrose
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 25
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Am I really as old as they are??
Posted: 6/23/2009 2:04:15 PM
These traits are really what I hope and feel I am.
Strength, gentleness, vitality, independence, forceful, energetic, loving, and wit.
I want to enjoy life more now than I can remember.
Go more places, see more things plus enjoying the company of loved ones and new friends.

Staying busy is a key. Eating right and exercise to make sure you can do these things.

They say many elderly after they retire actually go downhill because the quit getting out or even walking.
If your children don't come to visit don't wait but get out and visit.
Volunteer work or part time work if you are retired.
Live Longer and Love it...............Triple L of life.
Pat
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