Bluez
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Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 1 | |
| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:11:20 PM | Ladies... I'm sure that everyone has little quirks, annoyances and circumstances in their lives that, when taken individually, are things that can be dealt with and accepted in a relationship. As you get to know someone, and begin to notice those things, is there a point when they just possess too many of them and it begins to feel like it's no longer worth it to continue to get to know them? I'm not talking about finding out they have a felony conviction, or that they used to be another gender... I'm talking about the little things, that could be considered no big problem, in and of themselves... but when added up, they just become unattractive after awile?
Bluez | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:24:26 PM | Of course. There was a guy I dated awhile ago who made going out to for a meal or even ice cream an ordeal. The first time or two wasn't too bad but his behavior did have me raise my eyebrows each time.
He would make a big deal out of how well crushed the walnuts were on his butterscotch sundaes, how much lemon he had in his water, the number of napkins he was given at Subway.
He would take his leftover food from my house or a friend's house "for lunch tomorrow" and I am talking about a 2 oz. piece of grilled sirloin. I'm ready to feed it to my dogs and he wants to take it home. That's just weird. | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:36:37 PM | | i think thats your decision.. i know i have alot of little things wrong with me..a nd a few big things... if they bother you now.. theyll bother you more in 2 years... you could try talking to her about it.. if theyre things that can be changed or worked with if shes worth it | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:20:26 PM | If you like a person you have to tell what annoys you.Some people unaware that s/he is already annoying unless someone has to remind them.If they still doing it then ..time for you to walk away.
Those annoying stuff can be dealt as long that they are still belong to a safe person...besides no one is perfect.Sometimes it depends how patience you are to deal thier annoyances. | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:24:13 PM | I do understand this. When the little things start to get to me, I immediately stop and look at what is going on in my life. Am I transferring for something else if the answer is no. Then I sit back and evaluate why are these things driving me nuts, if I can't talk to the person about it then yeah, I usually tend to distance myself. I do try to exhaust all other options first.
Also it isn't fair to them. if we aren't compatible then we aren't compatible. | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:24:40 PM | finger licking after eating
sucking food out of your teeth
taking food away from a meal (as mentioned before)
anything nasal - sniffing back etc......
im sure i could think of some more, but i would like to sleep tonight and after some of the dates ive had thinking about it would be sure to keep me awake! | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:10:46 PM | I SO hear what you are saying. Sometimes I think that relationships aren't about finding the perfect person, but a person with the perfect mix of compatible quirks. 
I also think that this depends on your dating history. Are you a little flaky? (Hey! Some of us are...) Do you tend to ditch many relationships for little reasons? If yes, try to hang in there. If not, give yourself permission to let go...
It's nice to meet a really great person that drives you nuts! Haha... they make awesome friends!  | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:40:50 AM | | When there are too many things that 'rattle' my nerves about someone then I know its time to realize that they are not the friend I am seeking. There are too many things in my life that I can't control, I refuse to add one more that I can obviously control. There are so many needy people who can suck the life right out of you. I hate to hurt people, but when it comes to my sanity, I have to do what is best for me. I try to be really nice about it so I dont hurt their feelings. Sometimes that doesn't work...... LOL | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:59:43 AM | When they keep saying nothing makes them happy. When they cannot smile at ANYTHING because they just don't find joy in things. Those same people who are expecting other people to fulfill them. My ex was like that. He'd say over and over how unhappy he was and the only person who knows how to make him happy was his 5 year old son. Instead of punching him (which was my first initial thought) I told him that it was not that little boy's job to make him happy.... that is was his own job to make himself happy.
I find those people who are unable to find the joy in simple thing unattractive. | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:35:46 AM | Little things that eventually become too much after a while? Hmmmmm… let me think on this one…
I would guess that this would be something along the lines of when his cute burps become obnoxious belches…
Or when he gives the puppy dog eyes and all you can think of doing is smacking him on the nose with a newspaper instead of doing whatever it was he’s asking…
Or when he starts using irregardless as a standard word and all you can think of doing is shoving a full sized Webster’s Abridged Dictionary down his throat…
I’m pretty sure it’s time to cut anchor and sail when I start staring at the roses and think of how great decomposing flesh is as a fertilizer…  | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:11:05 PM | Ahhh, the magic question. When do quirks become "too much?" Well, when they start to outnumber the good things.
I think that the falling-in-love experience is actually a formula. As long as the frequency and intensity of positive, pleasant moments outnumber the frequency and intensity of negative, unpleasant moments, you'll be okay. We subconsciously try to create pleasant moments in the first flush of a relationship- fun dates, candlelit dinners, dressing up, making out, cuddling, talking for hours, etc, because shared pleasant experiences help human beings bond. Once the falling-in-love or limerance bond is established, you get to know each other better, and maybe love each other for real. For, as we all know, falling-in-love is not the same thing as actual love.
You want my advice? Head for the hills! If her quirks are getting to you now, you'll soon find her to be repellent. There are tons of girls out there who will have quirks that you find adorable and endearing; or, at the very least, the good things she brings to the table will outnumber the annoyances. Get out there and find her! Best of luck in your search! | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:57:18 PM | | well my opinion is that there's no such thing as a perfect relationship on a perfectly imperfect one...its the little things good or bad that make you grow to love someone...and if its not working out that way for you then iw ould suggest to go ya'lls seperate ways | |
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| When do too many little things add up to be too much?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:09:48 AM | | I guess it would depend on how willing the other person might be to alter those behaviors if I told them they bothered me -- and how willing *I* would be to change things I did they said bothered them in return. 'Cause ya know, it's a two-way street. Or so I hear. | |
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