| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:17:13 PM | Hello men out there. Does it at all feel "unmanly" if you were to go on a "date" and have the women pick you up, pay for herself (including soft drinks), and drop you home after the date?
What about you ladies out there? Have you ever done that?
I ask as I went on a so called date last night. I picked him up, paid for myself, made most of the conversation, and dropped him home. When he did speak it was like a footy player's grunting. I had to ask twice what he said. To top it off he burped in my car on the way home and it was silent and the only reason I knew was because I could smell the vile thing and asked him if he did and all he said was "I tried to cover it". So drop him off and dont even get a thank you. He just turned and said bye and got out. Now he's texting me "Do you want to hang out???"
I mean yes I might have a more respected job than him and my own car. But some respect and gratitude wouldn't go astray.
I love pof. This was the first time that I had ever been the dependable one on the so called date.
It might sound archaic, but I like to act like the female on dates.
What about you women? Have you ever done everything on the date and got nothign in return? | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:44:51 PM | My belief - and I've said this often before - is that the person extending the invitation should take care of the transportation and expenses. If he invited you, then he was a jerk. If you invited him... well, he was still a jerk, but not as much of one. 
To give him the benefit of the doubt - he may have felt a little awkward himself, and unsure of how to behave.
Next time he texts you, tell him that you expect more from even a 'hang-out' date then three semi-coherent words. You want *him* to start a conversation, and it can't be about his bodily functions. | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:42:21 PM | I wouldn't feel "unmanly", but if the woman was driving, i'd insist on paying date expenses. When I ask someone out I pay for everything.
It sounds like maybe your date was very shy / low self esteem / inexperienced with dating? I mean, you're attractive with a good job. Intimidate him maybe? He obviously likes you but he comes off looking like a jerk. Maybe he doesn't want to say the wrong thing as he wants you to like him (in his mind short & sweet answers work)?
maybe i'm wrong, i dunno, i wasn't there. We can speculate forever. :) | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:07:59 PM | Hello men out there. Does it at all feel "unmanly" if you were to go on a "date" and have the women pick you up, pay for herself (including soft drinks), and drop you home after the date?
Not really. I've never really associated masculinity with paying or driving.
I ask as I went on a so called date last night. I picked him up, paid for myself, made most of the conversation, and dropped him home. When he did speak it was like a footy player's grunting. I had to ask twice what he said. To top it off he burped in my car on the way home and it was silent and the only reason I knew was because I could smell the vile thing and asked him if he did and all he said was "I tried to cover it". So drop him off and dont even get a thank you. He just turned and said bye and got out. Now he's texting me "Do you want to hang out???"
While I can see that you had a bad date, it seems like it is because of his poor behavior and not his lack of a car or payment for your half.
What about you women? Have you ever done everything on the date and got nothign in return?
Try asking guys this question. The answer is... "all the time." We're supposed to just roll with it and move on. | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:45:08 AM | A gal asked me to go with her for a 3 week tour of music festivals. I accepted .
She came 500 miles to pick me up in her van.
We spent the next 3 weeks in 3 states.
She paid her way and I paid mine including helping with fuel .
I felt a little weird about it but was very glad she liked me enough to share her world with me.
That was over a year ago..
We see each other a couple of times a year at big events.
She still lives in another state 500 miles from me.
We will be seeing each other this weekend at a private music fest.
Maybe we will get romantic, maybe not.
We have both been hurt before and agreed 4 years ago when we met that we would take our time to really get to know one another before we would decide to be romantic or not.
If we get romantic, marriage would not be ruled out. I'm 55 , she's 37 and looks much better than I do.
I got 125 on the IQ test given to the president and military.
She got 165 on the same test.
I did the test faster than anyone in the history of the test and didn't care what my score would be.
I do have cars and 4wd truck as well as owning my place.
She has more money than I do. " ie,,, rich b!tch..." Money is not an issue..
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:04:09 AM | I don't' quite understand this. So if he was the one driving and paid for everything you would have looked past his bad manners, lack of language skills and burping?
I'd have to agree with a previous poster and say that I have never attributed "manliness" to a guys ability to pay or drive.
Sorry if I misinterpret but your post seems to have an element of shallowness.
JMO | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:37:26 AM | Oh UPDATE...
After all that, he hassles me today to "hang out". I say "don't you have any dates?"...his reply " No. No one wants to go on a date with me."
There's my answer.
Oh and Nebula...you fascinate me. We don't have hippies here. So when im in the US I would be honored to meet you!! Jocelyn | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:41:22 AM | Burnley babe...he didn't even thank me for picking him up/dropping him home. In fact I had to wait in my car in his street and text him when I was there so he could run out to my car.
I don't expect him to pay but be able to hold a conversation! Instead of grunting and swearing all the time! | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 8:18:39 AM | I would be honored to meet you too.
When are you coming to the states?
Contact me in my private mail and I will give you my contact information.
Peace pretty lady...
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 8:29:27 AM | what does that say about you...you picked him, you dated him, and now your crapping on him...seems to me, you got what you wanted and now are complaining...
btw...the realtionship forums are that way........................................> | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:00:04 AM | OP: this role reversal has been a secret fantasy of mine for ages. I'm frankly exhausted of chasing women, especially women who turn out not to be worth the chase. If a woman decided to take me out, I'd be flattered and thrilled.
Unfortunately, women in general simply lack this initiative. You are a rare gem, and I'm sorry that the guy was a disappointment. | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:03:22 AM | I think you are being too hard on him. Maybe he was too shy to talk. Maybe he did not know the burp would smell, and could not hold it in. Yes, he should have thanked you for the date, since it was his first time being picked up by you. Often on the second and third time, I think it is safe to skip the thank you's, though some people keep giving me them anyway.
I've been picked up by female friends, and picked up by guy friends, and most people don't seem to be as picky as you. However, since you did drive him, I think he should have paid the tip at the restaurant. | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:30:59 AM | What about you ladies out there? Have you ever done that?
No, I usually try and make it fare. With both driving to the picked destination and both paying for ourselves, especially on first meet. If there is interest to date, then we would communicate our views on how one another would like that to work.
What about you women? Have you ever done everything on the date and got nothign in return?
Not as yet.
Good Luck  | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 12:55:54 PM |
Hello men out there. Does it at all feel "unmanly" if you were to go on a "date" and have the women pick you up, pay for herself (including soft drinks), and drop you home after the date?
No, espically if it's the first date. I always recommend going dutch, because when you do there seems to be less pressure on both of us to expect anything more. After the first date and if there are multiple dates, then I suggest taking turns paying and driving (except in the winter, I hate driving in the snow). Of course if she wants to treat every once in a while and allow me the same courtesy that's always good. And it really dosen't matter who picks who up, as long as we both have a good time and get home safely it's all good.
"When you’re a lawman and you’re dealing with people, you do a whole lot better if you go not so much by the book but by the heart."
Barney Fife | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:01:30 PM | | Well...I don't pick up, nor do I get picked up by, someone I don't really know. I meet them in a public place. I try to get there early, so I have already purchased myself my coffee, or whatever. I usually plan on something of short duration, and if it's going well, we can plan a real date for another time. That probably would have been very helpful in your case! | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:41:33 PM | hell no I insist on it!
My manhood is in my shorts when it not somewhere else.
I like independent women, ~ I like to be entertained and amused.
When I'm not slaying dragons ~ I'm off duty!
Dance | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:53:31 PM | | we always treat short blondes nice in texas. They are our favorite immigrants | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:07:36 PM | Holy CRAP!!! It's the end of days! Nebs got hit on and a date.
Crap...now, I'm totally
*depressed* 
~ds~ | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:10:50 PM |
I ask as I went on a so called date last night. I picked him up, paid for myself, made most of the conversation, and dropped him home. When he did speak it was like a footy player's grunting. I had to ask twice what he said. To top it off he burped in my car on the way home and it was silent and the only reason I knew was because I could smell the vile thing and asked him if he did and all he said was "I tried to cover it". So drop him off and dont even get a thank you. He just turned and said bye and got out. Now he's texting me "Do you want to hang out???"
Well you can take the boy out of Newcastle, .... etc etc!
I know I'm just teasing you, but was there any inkling beforehand this bloke lacked even the most basic of social skills? I'm assuming he was very attractive to you for you to go out with him? Maybe a fellow who's never had to try too hard?
Many of us males have developed our social graces with the intention of helping us attract females and to prove worthy of being seen in public with them! lol It's called making an effort and this bloke disrespected you as well as himself.
For my own part, I've never asked a woman out without expecting to foot the bill, after all, I've extended the invitation. It's a different matter if you're in a relationship, where both parties work out who pays for what together (at least it works that way in my world!). My manhood is not diminished if a woman pays for me. My self-respect would be diminished if I gave somebody, whos opinion I respected, the impression I took advantage of someone.
Maybe you should set your sights further afield than Hunter St? There are plenty of good blokes out there. | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:55:43 PM | Hi OP.
I can only speak for myself, but if a woman liked me enough to invite me on a date I would be very flattered.
Nor can see I see anything demeaning if she does the driving least of all if she is a better driver than me. - (Not hard).
I would feel a bit of a scrounger if I didn't pay my own way though.
A shame this particular guy doesn't seem to have much sense of value.
I hope things work out better for you next time around | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/23/2009 12:41:43 AM | | I've had alot of dates like that, that's why I came here. Hopefully, I can meet better people. | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:36:41 AM | welcome to the world of mens dating! "Have you ever done everything on the date and got nothign in return?"....bwahahahaha!
Hey....keep up the good work! Doing things like this is what makes you truely "equal" in the eyes of many. You are NOT going to be someones pampered pet or anything, and will probably be a good partner for someone who is as ambitious as you seem to be!
Go get 'em tiger!
We're rooting for ya!
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:32:01 AM | most all of the ladies I "date" are most willing and even insist on helping defray the cost of an outing. Maybe not on the first or even second date but there after and some do from the offset.
If a man conducts himself well and puts a smile on her face, you might receive more then you bargined for. Not all, but most women are givers by nature but they've got to like you or hate you.
I never "expect them too" I never expect a lady to to do anything that she's not most willing to do. I'm with her because I enjoy being with her and what we've decided to do that evening. There are times, I thank them and decline their offer of cash or card. There are times I accept.
It all depends on what we are doing and what "both of us can afford". Many for the younger ladies are strapped, they can't afford it. I understand this and don't expect anything from them, but only to be pleasant and fun to be with.
I enjoy being entertained and amused ~ and women are so good at it! And why I keep returning over and over again.
I rare have "bad dates" this only happens when you are young and in a big hurry.
Dance | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:40:09 AM | | I'm having trouble figuring out what unmanly has to do with the date you described. You describe it as a so called date. Are you sure it just wasn't supper with someone uncouth. | |
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| Does it affect you at all?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:41:28 AM | | The picking me up, paying and dropping me off would be fine. It's the soft drinks that would turn me all girly. (giggle) | |
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