| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:29:22 AM | Okay, I am not a gay man!!! However, I have been the primary care giver for my two young children since birth. During this time I have morphed from an out going manly man to a docile gender-neutral father. I have been told that I hold my children like a "woman". I often catch myself doing many things that are gender-neutral. I try and provide for their needs, wether it be emotional, physcological, social or environmental. I guess I would realy like my children to be rasied in a healthy environment, and by adapting, I can provide a nurturing, loving, safe and secure raising. I want my children to very well rounded citizens. So the kicker, my only real social iteractions have been mostly with other moms with young children(pre-school, swim lessons, park) . I may have inherently adopted this persona . I not sure when the trasformation occured, however im sure it was a slow gradual change. I only noticed this change after being in social settings without my children and other women commenting indirectly.
Thanks
Rick | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:42:00 AM | Rick, Why would you care what other people think?
Your doing the best you can for the children.
Now go watch the movie "Mr. Mom" | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:42:05 AM | I wouldn't say that being a great father makes you appear gay, unless you speak 'baby talk' with them in front of others. If you can come across as a straight man when in adult company, it shouldn't be a problem. However, your username makes me wonder if you're bi-curious.
HR  | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:47:17 AM | As long as you dont call your son, if you have one, "honey". God thats a pet peeve of mine.
You have answered your own question by outlining what you are doing for your kids. I would rather have fools thinking I am gay for being a good father, rather then thinking I am not gay and not being a good father. | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:01:13 AM | Ugh, one of my managers call his teenage son, "hunny". Its just creepy somehow.
As for the OP, I always figured the kids come first. But in reality, doing the right thing doesn't always come with a reward. Take care of your kids in a way that makes you feel the most comfortable. they will, most likely, be in your life longer than most women. You may not become a pickup artist by being in touch w/ your feminine side...but if you don't want a one-night stand that lasts a few nights, your nuturing ways may attract women who want a more balanced man...and in the end, even the best PUA's will teach you, its not the alpha male, its the one who takes iniative who wins the law of averages.
Learn some male body language (take up space with your body, etc), keep asking out women in a gentlemanly way, don't be shy to be proud of your children when they aren't around, and...you may get surprised at the dates you end up w/.
tho if you truly come off as gay, being both womenly and a lover of the arts :), you may find some women who love a challenge beating a path to your door :)lol | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:02:00 AM | | What kind of people are you associating yourself with that would accuse you of holding your children "like a woman"? That's ridiculous. To me it sounds like you are being a good father. Nothing wrong with that! Perhaps these women have never seen a man that acts like a real father? | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:47:25 AM | | Personally I would be very attracted to a man who is so caring about his children (or in my case, grandchildren!). | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:09:52 PM | It's hard to tell from a profile or photo honestly.
It's usually the mannerisms and behaviors, such as having sex with other men that give it away. | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:15:33 PM | Well, this seems to be a new spin on asking for a profile review ......
OP~ You claim that the women that tell you that you have adopted fem qualities are IRL... therefore, not sure how we could judge that through your profile.
Take it to the Profile Review Forum. | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:18:25 PM | Having raised kids after a divorce I gotta tell you OP, you're being silly.
There is no masculine or feminine way to hold a kid.
Only a caring way.
Being a caregiver doesn't make you less manly.
In fact if you're mixing it up with moms...
and you come across a cute single one...
..you'll be aces.
Good Luck. | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:25:58 PM | | You said you may have inherently adopted a "mom" persona. You want to drop that. Even if it is true don't ever admit to it in public. You can be as soft as you want when you around your kids, but man up when they're not around. | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:02:03 PM | | No. You do not come across as gay in your profile and I am not one to go for an overly sensitive man, so you need no other opinions. Ha! | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:16:13 PM |
During this time I have morphed from an out going manly man to a docile gender-neutral father.
You can't be both? I'd suggest you work on it.
Of course, I never adopted the 'mom' persona. I'm not a mother, I'm not even going to pretend to be, and I've been pretty much telling my kids to suck it up since before they could understand what I meant. At the end of the day, they still know I will always be there for them, no matter what. The change between out-going, manly man and docile gender-neutral father can happen in a split second, at the sound of a blood curdling cry of near death, anything less and it's probably nothing major but should still be checked...I suppose. 
Plus, if I turned into a constant docile, gender-neutral father, who would be there to hold the shotgun when they start dating?  | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:11:13 PM | Ok, in the spirit of this thread... no joking around this time... I'm going to give you a straight answer. (Hahahaha... see what I did there?)
No, you don't come across as gay in your profile.
Not that there's anything wrong with it if you were.
You do, however, come across as mildly homophobic in your OP.
And that, my friend, can be slightly more problematic for some of us. | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:35:44 PM | OMG, are your hips getting bigger?
Are you developing "saddlebag" thighs?
Do you wax your lips?
OP: The quickest and easiest way to dispel any "gay" appearances, is to mention that you are a single parent to your wonderful kids.
You could also run for Governor in South Carolina | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:36:14 AM | I don't think so but the question then begs, what does a "gay" profile look like?
Why should you care so much what other people think of if you know in your heart, you are a good father? I don't quite understand why other moms would say that of you unless you exhibit signs/mannerisms of the stereotypical "gay" person. The fact that you started a thread on this very topic suggests you are somewhat homophobic. What's wrong with being gay (unless it's against your religion)?
Personally, I don't usually care what people think of me and how I parent. I have an excellent relationship with my children. That's all that really matters to me.
Good Luck in looking for your old manly self. | |
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| Do I come across as gay(profile)?
Posted: 6/29/2009 2:54:04 PM | I personally don't think you come across as 'gay' at all. You have a great profile and sound like a great catch for some woman.
I would like to point out though.... coming across as 'gay' isn't entirely a bad thing. Many, many women LOVE hanging out with gay men, they feel 'safer' and let their guard down. Never lie of course, but if women feel safe around you and let their guard down because they mistook you for 'gay' at first glance then isn't THAT a good thing? Once they say... "sigh, Why is it all the good men are gay or taken?" you can say... but I'M not gay or taken!
I'm just sayin'.
James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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