| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:23:03 PM | I spoke with him thru emails on pof for a while then we spoke on the phone for over a month..we met and all seemed to go well...we talked more and more daily on the phone...then he asked to borrow a sum of money...promised me from his heart he'd repay me even said he wanted to marry me...but it's been a week since I loaned him the money and I've not spoken to him since last friday nite...Guess that's what I get for believing in people again... my once open loving heart is broken now wondering if I'll ever trust another.... | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:45:04 PM | | NEVER loan money to someone you don't know VERY well. It sounds like he took advantage of your good heart. Better to learn now, than later. If the man really cared about you, he wouldn't have asked you for money. Don't trust so quickly next time. Get to know him before you give your heart, money or anything else away. | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/24/2009 9:58:39 PM | hi Plano,,
Seems you just got burnt!!..If its been a week and no word from him!!...hes not going to pay you back!!..and if you do here back from him he just might want to barrow some more!!..I know times are hard these days but for a man to do that,that sucks!!..Just don't judge every man for his sorry a** for doing that to you..Just carry him to court..They are good men on here!!..I know i'm one of them!!!...
Slash | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:33:17 PM |
even said he wanted to marry me
If he only knew you for a month, he shouldn't jump to something like marriage that fast. That's never a good idea.
And like ForumFilly said, loaning money to people you don't know that well, especially online, is never a good idea. I acknowledge that my post may be disregarded since I'm a bit on the young side, but I've been on the online dating scene for quite some time, even after finding my mate. Don't let him upset you! You'll find someone better. | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:36:33 PM | Yes.. please don't judge all of us because of this guy.. Your heart was in the right place, and though he took advantage of you, he will always have that kindness to remember shamefully as he eventually gets his kneecaps broken, because he stole money from the wrong girl, who had a really big brother with an itchy baseball bat arm.. or a ball pean hammer..
If anyone asks to borrow money from you, just don't do it.. in fact, tell them that you don't have any to give..
If you are a kind person, and must do what is in your heart, knowing you might be taken for a ride.. then don't be the victim.. give because you can, and only what will not strap you, don't lend.. give. You won't feel like crap, and if they repay you, well that's their own integrity, but you released that gift to them because of your heart, and it will be something you can feel a little good about.. I've learned to give 5 bucks to my friend, rather than lend him 5 bucks.. he owes me nothing, and i don't have it in the back of my mind that he owes me anything.. if he never comes back to repay me, I will just not have it if he asks again.. but if he does, it makes me feel good that he considered his debt to me a priority, and I am willing to help him again... | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:43:32 PM | | Sorry to hear you got burned. He's really a dog to use you like that. :( But it's a lesson learned to not loan money to someone that you don't know that well or that you don't feel you can trust. The fact that you haven't heard from him in a week is not a good sign. | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:31:23 AM | Unfortunately there are a lot of con artists running around on this site.. I just heard of another one on this site that took some very nice lady for over a grand..
What kind of decent man would ask a woman for money?? Never ever loan money to someone you are dating.. If they ask that should be your last communication with them.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:33:50 AM | With all due respect. You are 43 and loaning money to a relative stranger??? In the other hand, how can you deal with a man that as soon as he knows you is asking you for money??? BIG RED FLAG!!!
This is a kindergarten NO NO.
Im sorry but being so naive at your age is DANGEROUS!!!
Forget about the man and the money. Next time dont loan or give away. Let people like you for yourself and not for the perks they get from knowing you. | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:43:40 AM |  The first thing I could tell about you is that you have a beautiful wonderful heart. If there were anything that I could do to help you I would. But I guess the only thing I could really do is to tell you I feel for you, and I'll remember you and your situatiion through out the day and much longer. So hopfully, you don't feel so alone. I wont tell you what you should or shouldn't have done, you'll either find out more or you already know. I know the feeling of a broken heart all to well. To share my experience with you and anyone to see isn't easy for me, but it might show you that a heart can be broken in more than a few ways. I had found some one that I knew a very long time ago, and it started very inocently. She had done very well for her self, but by the time I'd found her again real estate in michigan had just started to decline, and my income droped to almost nothing. I kept trying to make something more of myself, gaining a license in insurances. But it still didn't work. She inspired me and was always there for me, even though she lives in texas. We'd only seen each other twice over a 2 year period, but constantly sent to each other, called each other. But then I think I made 2 mstakes. I finnaly told her that I fell in love with her, " we'd always said I love you to each other" , and then another time, while still not making ends meet here, I emotionaly broke down while talking to her, knowing that it seems that I'm about to loose every thing that I've ever worked for. I never asked her for anything, and I never would or will. But I think she took it as just that. A short time after that, she told me that it was time to move on. I wish she never told me or anybody about her life style. And since then, I try to send to her once every so often, but she never replys any more. And I wont pester her with calls, I don't want her to think of me that way. I would have changed my whole world for her. I'd do anything just to see her. I'm here in a sence to try and ,,,"move on",,, but I haven't found nor think that I ever would find anyone even close to what she meant to me. I still love her..............
Take care | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:55:20 AM | You have to be kidding me. When I read the OP's post I figured she had to be in her late teens, early twenties at the very oldest. But 43 and to be taken the way she did????
First of all, how can you truly know someone in a months time to know you want to marry them and spend the rest of your life with them?
Secondly, the warnings are everywhere.....NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give $ to someone on the internet you barely know.
I don't believe this has anything to do with having a big heart. This has to do with using your head! This man played you and you fell for it hook, line and sinker.
Also, unless you have a ton of $ to spare, that money could have been put to much better use on your CHILDREN!!!
I hope you have learned from this and next time won't be so darn gullible! | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:49:01 AM | Absolutely! So glad there is such a thing as this forum so people can support one another and prevent others from being hurt as well. Nobody should have to be so insecure and desperate inside that she is prompted to lend money to a stranger. If you see a street musician who really plays great, or a poet who writes a great poem, and you WANT to help at that point, to show your admiration, that's another issue. And, only if you can do so without jeopardizing your own needs. (Don't skip any meals, I mean.)
Gosh. I look for signs sometimes, and as much as I hate to admit it, any signs that someone wants you to skip the niceties I get really lost. How do people feel about the "coffee-thing?" Or the "nothing-thing?" I wonder if the next question is a request for a "loan," but then I guess that's jumping to conclusions.
I went out with one guy who was late meeting me cos he bumped his elbow in the subway and wanted to sit with me at a pizza shop outdoor place and not order anything till I suggested he get a cup of ice for his elbow, and that was it. It was actually ok with me cos I can't eat pizza (white flour allergies) and soda pop doesn't work for me, either. We sat there for ten minutes while he explained why he felt he should never get a divorce from his estranged wife. "It was too impractical," he explained. Then he proceeded to ask me how he could get his hands on fifty thousand dollars.
I gently explained to him that he probably did not wish to commit a crime, so that also was "impractical." I told him to play the Lotto, and if he really wanted to be a playwright he should write a play and offer it up at a Backer's Audition and try to raise capital for it that way.
I guess we just have to try and keep a sense of humor about these episodes. | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 1:53:58 PM | Has anyone ever told you “WHEN ONE LOANS MONEY IT IS A GAMBLE".
Unless you are fully ok with the possibility of loosing those funds and never seeing your cash again then DO NOT LOAN ”.
More importantly:
Ask yourself why you would loan out money to someone whom you only recently met ONLINE! Are you that desperate to arrive at the point of trying to PURCHASE SOMEONE'S LOVE?
Stop painting yourself as a martyr - LEARN FROM THIS MISTAKE.
You are the only one who dispursed the money to a STRANGER and now you should assume the consequences of a foolish lack of good judgement.
Self pitty will only make you repeat this mistake once again. | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:17:48 PM |
Whats him POF name, lets expose him, cause he WILL keep doing this to other POF ladies.
Besides this being a HUGE no-no in the forums, exposing him will not do any good. He will simply close that account and open a new one.......either on here or on another dating site. | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:33:07 PM | Nothing I can say will make you feel better, but please don’t feel bad for being generous to others…what comes around goes around. We’ve all made bad investments at one point or the other; regardless of it was with out heart or our pocket. In any case, the money can be replaced and your heart WILL mend.
And if that doesn’t work for ya, just say the word and I’ll ask a few of my Tejas’ cousins to pay this dude a visit to get your money back…with interest!
Hang in there, Plano…it will get better! | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 5:05:43 PM | Miss plano-blondie - as I have been divorced since 1989, I have gained a lot of experience with dating websites and even dating services (pre-internet). Just remember one important thing: online the chances are far higher that the person he/she claims to be is most definitely NOT who they really are.
In many states (mine included) many penitentiaries allow inmates internet access. Then you also have to worry about the scammers sitting in an internet cafe in Lagos, Nigeria or Shanghai, China. They can even have American addresses for your letters and money to go to. I sometimes think the scammers outnumber the legitimate posters at most sites.
Like my late father always taught me, don't loan any money that you would not feel OK to take into the back yard and burn. After all, once you loan it you can be 100% sure it is gone (just like you burnt it) but can never be 100% sure it's coming back until it's actually in your hand.
Regardless, I wish you better luck in the future. I looked at your profile and you're a real cutie! You'll have no problem getting a great guy, just give it time. | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/25/2009 5:13:13 PM | *don't loan any money that you would not feel OK to take into the back yard and burn. After all, once you loan it you can be 100% sure it is gone (just like you burnt it) but can never be 100% sure it's coming back until it's actually in your hand.*
Oh these old nuggets are always worth reviving! Love it, Stephen. Going to pass that on to my kids.
SARL | |
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| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:21:09 PM | | hey girl, i hope you don't know the same guy that i know, because i have done the same thing, but it will not happen again,boy oh boy don't we learn the hard way, at my age i should have known better, it has taught me a hard lesson, and i am really mad at myself | |
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ta_boo
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Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 25 | |
| I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:08:15 AM | personally iw ould never accept money from a woman. ever! even if she offered it. i figure if i can't earn it to pay for what i want or need it for then i don't need it that badly. or at all. the alarms shoudl ahve gone off the minute he asked for money. unless you know a person a long time or know their back ground, don't lend money.
for the record not all are like him. some of us have integrity and morals. | |
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