| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:03:18 AM | | i think that being a single mum would be good to dad a single dad as they understand a little more then a guy with kids. so i think guys its ur ture to stand up. so we can see who u are and what ur after and make it easyer on us single mums. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/25/2009 5:22:17 AM | | I think being able to form coherant complete sentences is very attractive. *nudge nudge* | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/25/2009 6:29:39 AM | wow maybe stop havin a few of those 's and we could prob understand what it is you are trying to say/ask....say/ask/.....what? | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:50:55 AM | a lil sloppy written but i understood what you were trying to say, single mothers dating single fathers because single fathers can understand your position better. correct?
Being a single father myself i personally think that being a parent is hard work all around and i would prefer to date someone that can understand that!! | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:57:59 AM | drakkitten, life is not supposed to be "easy", it is supposed to challenge us. Why should we as single moms catch a break and not have to sift through profiles and make contact with men to seek that which we want? Do you sit at home at wait for that perfect job? Do you expect the world to come to you or do you venture out and try to conquer a piece of it for yourself?
POF is already a catalogue of prospective mates.....maybe fish should start breaking us down into "types" that will and "types" that won't date single parents........
~shakes head~ | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/25/2009 12:37:42 PM | I personally look for more mature women that are well past their divorce and are ready to have a committed relationship. Not to stereotype, but I have found that dating younger (late 20s early 30s) ladies are choc full of drama with their ex and typically are looking for father figures for their (very young) kids - not to mention they often are not self sufficient financially. Older women my own age seem to have their emotional house in order and are simply looking for the same things I'm looking for...namely great companionship and quality time together (and yea, some great sex too...lol....).
As a single dad, I have to juggle my personal time with the needs of my son. Of course, his needs sometimes take priority, but that does NOT mean the lady in my life comes second.......she does indeed come first, and I expect that she gives me the same courtesy in a relationship and sets that expectation with her kids as well.
I've found that single mothers, especially late 30s, early 40s ladies, are wonderful women to date. They've got some life experience and often have gone through some tough times with their "bad boy" type ex's and are now appreciative of us guys that are genuinely nice and well grounded. I love that most are very laid back and VERY sexy, and there are a ton of you on this site that most other guys seem to shy away from....
Sometimes its hard to find time in busy schedules with kids to get that quality alone time, but it can work if both are willing and ready to give it an honest shot. I guess the biggest thing I look for in a single mom is a stable life with her and her kids. Does she have a job? Is she divorced? Does she spend time with her kids? Is she close with her family? The more "wholesome" her life is the more I'm attracted to her and the more likely it is to have a great relationship with her........... | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/25/2009 12:47:34 PM |
I personally look for more mature women that are well past their divorce and are ready to have a committed relationship. Not to stereotype, but I have found that dating younger (late 20s early 30s) ladies are choc full of drama with their ex and typically are looking for father figures for their (very young) kids - not to mention they often are not self sufficient financially.
These are some reasons why it is so important to choose the father of your child very carefully. I wish more parents would instill this knowledge in their children before those children have children of their own. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 7:29:31 AM | Drak, I agree with you. I’m a single dad and my son lives with me full time (for 11 years now) and has been since the divorce. Some women that don’t have children don’t quite grasp the concept of been a single parent. They either can not understand the responsibility, the priorities or the fact that your child was there before them. I’m not saying they all are like that but most are. In contrast when you date a woman with children she does understand all the effort that this takes. I’m sure you can find people on either side of the fence here but in general a single dad will understand you a bit better. Good luck.
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 2:15:42 PM | as the third single dad with custody I would also agree the benefits of dating a single mother with children or a child would be preferable. Also being a little more "mature" than Drak I would prefer a single mom who has children similar in age to my own 2. I have met a few woman even younger that have already seen their children fly out of their nest and my situation was a drag on the relationship at least on where they wanted the freedom.
Now also being the custodial parent without cs i am also very cognizant of finding a single mother who is finacialy capable of being self sufficient. i already have paid off one woman and with 2 children still requiring finacial support...I do not need or desire a single mother who is incapable of being finacially solvent. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 3:02:06 PM | | I am would agree that single fathers and mothers should date eachother. That will lead to a mutual understanding of challenges. However, I think the other fathrers have touched on an interesting point that I haven't really seen discussed. That it is a even better match when the childern are simmular in age. I've noticed that I have more in common with a mother with younger childern then one with older childern. There might be something, to single parents dating each other, but with kid(s) of near age. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 3:23:13 PM |
I am would agree that single fathers and mothers should date eachother. That will lead to a mutual understanding of challenges. However, I think the other fathrers have touched on an interesting point that I haven't really seen discussed. That it is a even better match when the childern are simmular in age. I've noticed that I have more in common with a mother with younger childern then one with older childern. There might be something, to single parents dating each other, but with kid(s) of near age.
Agreed. I don't know anyone with kids my age, so it would be cool to date a woman with a similar-aged child, so on the weekends I have my daughter we could do the play date thing. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:13:26 PM | | well sorry so what if im not good a say stuff and spelling but it caused by something u people wouldnt understand. we ALL need a changed in finding love any way we can. with kids or without kids dosent matter as long as ur happy and inlove if u can find that. im only 24 and every one says i got plenty of time but i want the happyness with some one other then just my loving girls. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:18:58 PM | | oh and by the way i have been looking for 2 and a halfs years and now i have a casual job to that i found myself and no i dont DRINK either. i dont get to go out to. and i dont have any famliy here to watch my girls. un like most of u out there that got lucky with having a great family. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:25:04 PM | | oh and i have never be married either and most aussie girls grow up fast when they have kids like me. and i was 21 years old with my frist the 23 for my second not a bad age to have them at. but why im single i had a really bad relationship with thier so called father that say our second one is not his. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:43:42 PM | | Don't be too hard on yourself, drakkitten. You'll find someone, stay optimistic. I'd hang with you if you lived closer. lol I'm a single dad and I went through a lot of bullshit, but if you learn from it you will only be stronger. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:50:14 PM | | I would echo funkyguy's comments. Also, I think opinons about single parents and dating vary depending on where you live. I'm here in the States, and it is rough here too. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:39:48 PM | | well i been a single dad for 3 years my x wife try to kill my new born i carried them 4 miles one way to file custady they were one month old and 1 years old at the time and she never even tryied to fight for them so there are a few of us out here but for the last 3 years girls have treated me like a freak because i was a single dad but it dosent mater because i got my little ones there are so cool i was lucky enough to get both a boy and girl my son is the oldest i love being a dad i just we they could have there mom but she made it impossable and there the ones that are going to hurt | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:41:25 PM | | yeah my grls so called fater almost killed both of them twice while i was pregent with the and then my frist girl got hurt a few times until 9 months old thats when i life so the whole trust thing is a biggy but but it is easyer to trust a single father then with a guy with no kids because they have kids of thier own but still dose not mean they are not capable of hurtingkids or adults and that gose for some girls too. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:37:27 PM | Hi Op...to quote verbatim from your profile:
"Oh and i have a pet snake and when i move in to a bigger place ill get more reptiles yay."
Not sure about most fellows but I don't think many of us are interested in sharing space with the snake and soon to arrive reptiles for a variety of reasons.....I am a full-time single dad with two early teen daughters (was almost 46 when my youngest was born) and will concede that many ladies are not interested in a man with children...and that is absolutely their choice and there is no need for any of us being upset if someone does not wish to become involved with our circumstances...personally I much prefer to know this upfront before any relationship building energy is wasted.
Why not get rid of the snake/reptiles and get that off of your profile...see what that does to increase male interest.
You are a very attractive woman in your photos and will probably need to be careful that the attention you do get is what you are looking for from a man....just some advice but I'd maybe take a little time getting to know the man well before getting active sexually with him...and if he pressures you for sex tell him to get lost...the right guy will wait and give the relationship a chance to properly develop.
Good luck !! | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:47:10 PM | | The reptile thing doesn't bother me. It is your pet of choice, better that the man know upfront those are the types of pets you like. You seem like you got your head on you shoulders so don't be discouraged. I would totally write you for a date, if you weren't on the wrong side of the world. I just don't wish to waste your time. :) | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:57:59 PM | jamesdleo said:
"...for the last 3 years girls have treated me like a freak because i was a single dad..."
Absolutely. As soon as they find out that you've got custody, they look at you like you just stepped off the spaceship from Pluto and high tail it out of there. I too suffer from the same experience.
I just tell myself that it doesn't matter, they weren't fit to be with me anyway. But it still sucks that having a kid disqualifies you for some many women. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/27/2009 1:05:22 PM | hey aussie girl, i dont mind the grammar differences,,,,, no problem, as far as single mums looking for single dads, one would think the match would be better and a bit "easier" to find, so I understand maybe changing your search criteria to look for a single dad. I did the same thing, but still havent had much luck. I've decided I am too picky and when I do find a guy, for some reason, he always has some characteristic that I wouldnt want to live with,,,, so the wait continues! have fun and good luck!
And to the couple guys here that have said the woman they tell they are single dads to always seem to run in the other direction, are these single woman without kids? As the thread is saying, we wonder if the match would be better if both parties had kids? Single moms have a harder time dating guys without kids, so I would think single dads would have the same problem, no? | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/27/2009 4:28:19 PM | | being a single parent is a full time job and then when you work outside the home omg its two jobs and so I find it better to form relationships with others in the same boat. | |
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| looking for a single dad
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:55:05 PM | I think in theory the idea that two people who share in being a single parent will better understand each other is great on paper. It sounds like a good approach. One would think both would have about the same things to bring to the table.
However, I have never had a good dating experience with a single father.
I have had wonderful, successful relationships with men who didn't have any children.
My experiences tend to have me leaning toward being more interested in single men without children but it really, really just depends on the individual. I don't exclude single fathers but I don't go out of my way to seek them out either. | |
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