| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/25/2009 11:08:59 AM | I fall in love too fast. I met a great guy, we went out a few times, talked on the phone almost every night. I made suggestions of places to go and things to do. "Motivating him off the couch" ... cuddled ... I thought things were good but whoa, now nothing from him at all. There must be something truly wrong with me. I am not cute or blond or skinny ... anyone want to try and help me fix me?  | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/25/2009 11:49:42 AM | Why do you assume there is something wrong with you? Maybe he is the one with the issues.
Now, as far as falling in love too fast... that isn't the case. You are infatuated with the idea of being in love. I'll bet every time you meet a new man you think to yourself, "Oh, he maybe the ONE!". You exchange some emails, phone calls and few dates and you are sure that this is the perfect man for you. You don't really know what he's like inside... what he likes and doesn't like to do on weekends, is he a couch potato or a weekend warrior, does he have friends he loves spending time with or is he a loner? All you know is that you want so badly to be in a loving relationship that you will avoid seeing that he isn't a 'great guy' for you. For someone else, maybe... but not for you.
So you aren't cute, blond or skinny. Who says you need to be in order to find the man for you. If he IS the man for you, you will be everything he wants in a woman. He won't be looking for cute, blond and skinny... he'll be looking for you.
Just don't assume every man you meet will be a good match. Most won't. Don't rush into a romantic relationship. Get to know each other as friends first and build from there. You can't force someone to change their nature. If the guy wants to stay on the couch, you trying to change that is only going to cause friction. Start out with a guy who enjoys the same activities that you enjoy. That way neither of you feels cheated. | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/25/2009 1:55:13 PM | | So you want help gettin yourself fixed. Well it looks to me like you already know what your issues are, and how they come about. The first step is always admitting you have a problem, which you did. So now you need to take the time to listen to yourself and fix what you want internally. It sounds to me like you might be projecting what you want onto a guy and when he isn't the way you want you feel that it's somehow your fault. And I will also tell you, a real man doesn't care if your a blonde skinny bimbo. What a real man cares about is who you are inside and how you take care of yourself. I wish you the best of luck, but fix yourself:) | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:52:40 PM | | Nothing, you cant fight their own fears. Dont blame yourself. You tried. | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/25/2009 4:20:45 PM |
There must be something truly wrong with me. I am not cute or blond or skinny
So in otherwords OP, are you saying that if you were cute, blond and/or skinny there would be nothing wrong with you???? It sounds to me like you have HUGE self esteem issues. Maybe you should work on resolving those before trying to find a man. | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:51:41 PM | My experiences have been that if you take care of yourself, are reasonably attractive and stay in shape, have a lot of hobbies and interests, feel good about yourself, are a good person and fun to be with, chances are you'll attract the same sort of people.
If you let yourself go and don't like and respect yourself, there's a big risk all you'll meet is losers .
"Birds of a feather" ya know... ;-) | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:58:01 AM | | i dont think you are doing anything wrong, perhaps there is something wrong with him, he could have found someone else or suddenly discvered something about you he does not like | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2009 1:54:54 AM | OP Your doing nothing wrong...........Pick better guys, ones that like what you want to do. And enjoy being you.  | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2009 2:55:16 AM | I dont think you should have to be Motivating him. If he's realy into you, he would want to do things with you. Maybe thats just how i am, but it seems right to me.
Dont be to hard on yourself. You can go crazy trying to figure out what people think. | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2009 3:37:07 AM | Maybe it isn't you. Haave you tried just talking to him? Most times they WILL NOT give you a straight forward answer,they jsut make lame excuses, but you might get luckey and him tell you what is really going on.
I am not cute, young or skinny. But trust me there are still men who find you attractive for who you are. Might not be such a good idea to( NOT ) talk on the phone to him every night, men like suspense. ( you do know what I mean ) so you do not seem desperate to him.
Men are after all preditors, they like to think they are pursuing the female. If you let him know you are intrested, they are much more inclined to KEEP coming back IF they think they have to WIN you over.
DO NOT try to fix you. Just be yourself. After all if the guy can not accept you for WHO AND WHAT you are, he is not the man for y ou,and you WOULD NOT be happy with him, if you are having to pretend to be something you are not, just to fit his fantisy. Trust me on this, be yourself.
The only thing I see wrong with you is LACK of self confidance. If the guys do not like you they are jerks and not worth your time. I have NEVER,EVER tried to change who or what I am,and trust me, I have had plenty of men attracted to me, even though I am NOT SKINEY, or some modle beauty. WHY BECAUSE I am happy with who and what I am ,and I am not lacking self confidance. Try being yourself, if the guy is not intrested toss him back there are more out there trust me on this one.
Peggy  | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2009 3:49:45 AM | Girl don't change you for anyone be proud of who u are sweetie. **** him he's not the guy for u move on ya'll get someone who loves u for u promise. something very similar happend too me and trust me ya're better off with out him  | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:25:49 AM | To all of you who responded to my post: I'd like to thank you. You've made me see that maybe it really isn't me ... maybe the guy is a jerk. I am going to let it go, "catch and release" if you will. You all are wonderful, you made me feel good. It's HIS loss, not mine. Thanks again!!!  | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/26/2009 2:51:47 PM | ow man, here come my mushy side. k. i really feel bad for you first of all.ok. i have always been cute /attractive and all. i didnt always know it tho. especially when i was younger i should say. your probably cuter than you think. most people have attractive things about them they are not aware of and men have a hard time paying a complement. they are afraid it will make them look weak. or make them feel vulnerable. and in a way its true. i hope you find a cofident man to have by your side. they are the good ones. stay away from the silent type. it really does mean somethin, datre a loudmouth | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/27/2009 2:49:46 AM | | Sweetheart, Please don't take dating so seriously. Typically men have a pattern. They generally chase fast and hard at first and get washed up as quickly as they started. Just look at like a fun. Don't expend so much of your time, heart, emotions, and effort trying so hard in the beginning...look at it like your shopping around...just try it on for a minute and then try someone else on and so on until you make a few good friends. Life is too short to stress yourself on shallow minded, fast-food type relationships. Keep yourself busy doing something you enjoy and be content within yourself and soon you meet a male friend who can become that special someone...just don't rush yourself or him...I wish I could heal your heart. Emme | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/28/2009 4:43:08 AM | | Post to ask a guy and add details I would help you but you left out the information | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:38:11 AM | | there is nuffin rong with u its them i pick the wrong type of guy too | |
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| What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:23:53 PM | | i know wat you mean the same thing happened 2 me.i meet a gal phoneing her every night 3 days later she dumps me.you just need to look again its his falt.you find something better if you just w8 for it | |
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