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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why do people not respond when sent a message?      Home login  
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 gentleheart2
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 1
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Why do people not respond when sent a message?Page 1 of 1    
What happened to being polite? Why is it so hard to reply with a "thanks but no thanks"?

If someone sends you a message and you are not interested, do you reply and say so, or do you ignore them and do nothing or do you just delete the message? Those who delete messages without even reading them confuse me. If your getting that many that you can't be bothered, delete your acct. If your too busy, again, delete the profile.
 nightrider757
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 2
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:40:52 PM
In my opinion guys learn bad manners from the ladies. Men typically send more messages. So when they see the read/delete no response, they figure that's the way business is done. I respond to almost all of mine.

But I think for everyone, the best idea is just fire and forget. Send messages, hope for the best and don't track it. The "sent" messages page is just asking for torment. Don't read it. How is it going to make anything better to see who read/deleted you? I never look at that page and things have been much more fun since.

Just sit back and see who responds. If you're not getting what you want write more or write better.

Cheers
 Halfaddict
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 3
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Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:43:11 PM
I always respond, even if there isn't a physical attraction... there is always a reason to befriend others...Plus you never know... could be the guy or girl of your dreams.
 itsmillertime6227
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 4
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:43:40 PM
This question is getting so old. It's not the end of the world. Move on. Not everyone is going to like you or send you a pitty response.
 CrlsCtrl
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 5
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:44:10 PM
If I'm not interested, I'll reply and say so, but that's what I do, I'm obviously different. If somebody ever deletes your message without reading it first, they're not interested in you, it's that simple. I give whoever does that a big thumbs down for being so passive-aggressive, but that's how they handle things and it's entirely up to them.

Now, as for those people who get too many messages... You know, I'm pretty confident there's not one guy on here who gets up to his computer and finds 328 messages in his inbox every day, and even if he did, he would not delete any of them due to an "overwhelmed" feeling, he would just quickly sift through profiles and delete the ones he wasn't interested in (and marvel at the size of his e-penis). Hypothetically, if I were to get that many, I'm tech savvy and a fast typer, so I'd be able to send out 20 or 30, "Thanks, but no thanks," messages in under 10 minutes, but not every guy can do that. (Translation: "I'm a geek.")
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 6
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Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:49:32 PM
I'd like to invite the OP to read this thread to get a good understanding.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts12603822.aspx
 gentleheart2
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 7
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Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:50:07 PM

if I were to get that many, I'm tech savvy and a fast typer, so I'd be able to send out 20 or 30, "Thanks, but no thanks," messages in under 10 minutes, but not every guy can do that. (Translation: "I'm a geek.")


hahaha! great response!

This is my first time in the forums so I didn't think this was as common a question as it apparently is, so apologies for that. Thanks for the responses, I'll restrain myself from checking the 'sent' tab.
 justinx
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 8
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Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:51:57 PM

In my opinion guys learn bad manners from the ladies

Exactly.

Too many read/delete or just delete. After a while you begin to realise this is the way its done. You begin to dismiss some of your own social pleasantries in more favor of what is perceived to be the norm here.

Which then breeds the second related question to this one.

Why do so many men only send one line messages?
Why? see above.
 Volleyball10
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 9
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:53:34 PM
I couldn't agree with you more gentleheart !

I send emails, and they are read, but never receive responses
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 10
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Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:06:43 PM

I send emails, and they are read, but never receive responses

Wow, and I thought this only happened to me, almost refreshing in a non-spiteful sort of way, but I see I am not alone in this then. Sad how some people cannot take the time to reply to someone who took the time to write even if it is a simple thanks, but I don't think we'd be compatible type of message. Definitely goes both ways I believe.
 matt-cardiff
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 11
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:14:02 PM
I think men get so used to no responses from women, that they can't be bothered responding when they're not interested either...don't take it personally, 99% of my bad habits in the dating world have been picked up from how women have acted in the same situation lol....but hey, what's good for the goose......
 somewhat_here
Joined: 11/8/2008
Msg: 12
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:15:47 PM
I send out messages every now and then and usually (99% of the time) are read/deleted or dismissed outright. It gets a bit annoying, but the few times someones messaged me I have always written a reply. I guess I'm just too courteous to fall victim to imitative behavior!
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 13
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:18:21 PM

Sad how some people cannot take the time to reply to someone who took the time to write even if it is a simple thanks


What makes you think they owe you ANYTHING?...

I have recieved several unread/delete, several read/delete, and several just read, with NO response.

You people need thicker skin if your gonna try internet dating. If you get butt hurt over people not responding then your going to drive yourself crazy on here.

You are the same people who ask the following very dumb questions..
"why do people look at me and not send me a message?"
"im so nice, why dont girls like me?"
"I know I weigh 300lbs, but it doesnt mean that im unhealthy, why cant guys see this?"
 mascot1
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 14
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:33:42 PM
I'm replying here because I am a person that reads and does not reply. It is a way of saying that for one reason or another they are not interested. Possibly that they may not have known what to write, but that is unlikely. PLEASE USE THREAD SEARCH!!!! THIS HAS BEEN COVERED SO MANY TIMES AND ALL OF US MALE AND FEMALE WRITE THE SAME RESPONSES. This is also true what broncsbuff wrote:
You people need thicker skin if your gonna try internet dating. If you get butt hurt over people not responding then your going to drive yourself crazy on here.

Good luck in your search OP, someone not responding is not something to get wrapped up about, theres always someone!
 gentleheart2
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 15
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Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:33:58 PM
bronc, no one said they were "hurt" by having their message deleted. The topic is really why do people not respond? I was more curious whether you (forum members) prefer a long intro, short, funny, catchy, etc. What gets your attention and what reason is there to not respond?

I guess because it's the internet being respectful and nice don't count or are somehow unnecessary? Really I don't see what the big deal is, if someone took the time to look at your profile and send you a message, how hard is it to say thanks, I am not interested but good luck?

I'm not sitting by the computer waiting for the reply to my messages either, but I thought it was a bit odd when it seems to be the norm rather than the anomaly.
 emruld
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 16
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:40:05 PM
all you can do is.. what you think is right... i always respond.. (well almost now. its a disgusting first message... eg u wanna see my... on cam) i delete.. but.. i think thats expected...all you can do is respond to any you get wether your interested or not
happy fishing
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 17
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Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:49:07 PM
Sad how some people cannot take the time to reply to someone who took the time to write even if it is a simple thanks


What makes you think they owe you ANYTHING?...


Umm excuse me, but did I say I felt the "owed" me, as you so kindly put it, ANYTHING? No, I don't think nor do I say I feel they OWE me anything, I simply said it would be "nice" if they at least took the time to replay to someone that took the time to write to them, if YOU don't expect a reply great, your disappointment will have been met, but a reply be it good, bad or indifferent would be nice.
 katt_411
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 18
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:51:52 PM
I tried not to post, but here I am....

OP, let's just put it this way: same reason why when you hold the door for someone they don't say thanks. And they may not say it for a billion and one reasons. It may have nothing to do with not being thankful... or they may just be dogs. Who knows. Why worry so much, though? ...it's something that's out of your hands. Focus on the good stuff. Life's too short.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 19
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:55:07 PM

The topic is really why do people not respond?


they dont owe you anything, thats why. Big deal, you sent someone a message, congrats, that person doesnt owe you a response back....man up, stop whining....


What gets your attention and what reason is there to not respond?


A girl could write the best message ever, if I dont find her attractive, then it doesnt matter at that point. A guy that looks like a supermodel on here could probably get away with sending short messages because he is banking on his looks. I dont care if a girl has the intrests as me, could care less. If I dont find her attractive (looks wise) then it will never work.

call me shallow, call me whatever, You dont see personality from across the room...

either man up and deal with it, or get off the internet, it only gets worse from here....
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 20
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:57:44 PM

I simply said it would be "nice"


well...it would have been nice if I looked like Tom Cruise...should I start a forum ****ing and complaining that it isnt fair that I turned out and looked like my mom and dad?...

GET OVER IT...put your big boy pants on and deal with it..

again...this comes from a guy who recieves unread/delete, read/delete....I move on...
 meandyouas1
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 21
Why do people not respond when sent a message?
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:59:29 PM
These people are obviously bad-mannered. Period. Makes you wonder if they're just as rude in person.
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