| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:52:46 PM | | I've met a lot of guys through the internet, usually in another state close by. We talk for months over email and even phone. Whenever the subject of meeting comes up, they always want me to come visit them. Why won't a guy come to me? Is it too much to ask? I have a child and it's hard to travel on my part. | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:01:04 PM | Maybe they have children as well, and travel is hard on them too?
How about a compromise.......meet half way and try equal.....you just might like it.....
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:03:35 PM | I think because it is like asking the other person to run a gauntlet. Home town advantage with all you freinds, family, local aquaintances upsets what would be a ballance.
If neither of you are willing to cross that void then nothing risked, nothing earned or learned. If neither of you are willing to do this then one of you needs to set your preferences to the minimum distances possible and be done with it.
My best advice is to TAKE a CHANCE. | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:08:04 PM | | You should meet at a neutral site comfortable to both of you.If they don't have a car then that's one thing.Maybe they just want sex and they figure if you're into them enough you'l come to then.If it's such a big issue to them then do yourself a favour and wait to find someone who will.If it's not worth the effort to them it's a sign of things to come .Cheers | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:10:05 PM |
Why won't a guy come to me? Is it too much to ask?
No. But how about you look for guys closer instead? If you can't even drive to meet, what do you expect to accomplish if things progress? | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:15:24 PM | | Why not meet guys in your own state, preferably close to where you live? There's no way I'm crossing state lines to meet someone for the first time. | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:56:28 PM | I think it's pretty simple, unless there's a really really good reason behind it, like lack of a car to move.
If you're within reasonable distance, I don't see why someone would not travel to another state to meet someone interesting.
Only reasons I can think of are:
- Mere desinterest.
- It makes it easier for him to just take you back to his place after having a drink and get what he's really looking for.
- It's easier for a man to plan something out when you both meet around the area where he lives, so that's why he wants you to come to visit him.
Again, there might be real reasons why he can't travel, but those are limited.
Good luck. | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:58:32 PM | Date people that live closer.
Or meet in the middle. Find somewhere that is between the two of you. Making someone do all the work in the beginning of the relationship just shows how it will be the rest of the relationship--completely one sided. Which is doomed for failure. | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:10:17 PM | do you really think its worth it ?????
aside from the fact that it will cost him $200 in gas or plane ticket to get there. he will need a hotel , he will need to eat he will need to ALSO take you out on a date ,,,also if he's traveling it will take some time of his day so he'll either do it on a weekend or take tie off of work.
add it all up ,,, $500 roughly ,,, not many guys are willing to spend $500 per date specialy with this economy ... and the fact that you have a child will mean he will have to come up more often than you.
or he can stay in the city and meet girls who are in his proximity ,much more convenient.
I have friends in different city who I have known through school and work ask me to visit and offer me a place to stay but I dont cause Im too busy.even on my weekends
be realistic | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 10:30:48 PM | | There's this guy in South Carolina that likes to travel to visit his girlfriend...maybe you should call him....?? Oh, but he likes Latin women....and won't be there on Father's Day if that's okay... | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 10:42:30 PM | They don't like you enough.
When you find one that does, he will do whatever it takes... trust me. :-)
You're pretty, you just haven't met him yet.... | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/25/2009 11:35:07 PM | I certainly would not travel a long distance to meet someone on a first date, unless I have gotten to know them well through other types of communication. Most first dates end up being the last date. Traveling a long distance can become very expensive. I communicated with a girl for several months once, and traveled to Michigan from Illinois to meet her. We communicated by telephone, e-mail, and video prior to our meeting. By the time we met in person, I felt I knew her pretty well. The date was great, but like a lot of other men, I expected it to end with a sexual encounter. It didn't happen, and I didn't press the issue. But I have to admit that I was disappointed, and felt that I was led astray. We communicated a few more times after the date, but nothing ever developed.
I agree with those who suggest that you look in your own area before branching out to far.
I would only travel a long distance again, if , after getting to know the person first, we agreed that the date is going to end with a bang.... | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:06:59 AM | | Gotta agree with Mustang. If I'm travelling more than an hour in one direction to meet someone, I better be getting some (unless it's like some place I'd want to go anyway.. like NYC or some place). And that brings up a whole new issue. OP, you do realize if they did travel to see you, it would be to have sex with you and that's it, right? | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:14:55 AM |
OP, you do realize if they did travel to see you, it would be to have sex with you and that's it, right?
Surely you do realize you have no idea what the man and her decide upon. And surely you're open minded enough to know your theory doesn't hold true in all other people's circumstances. She could find a man who loves sex as much as her, yet is compelled to explore her as a person and is willing to do whatever it takes to get to know her. Open your mind. She will find him! She just has to dig past the mediocre men to find that gem. | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:20:36 AM | If that were the case thus far, this thread wouldn't exist.
It's not about being open or closed minded. It's just looking at things realistically. How many threads are on here asking "why do guys just want sex?" And these are guys who, most likely, live in the same town as the girl. Add a few hundred miles in between, and the desire is that much greater. This is generally speaking, of course. | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:29:15 AM | Okay, think of it this way: How many guys are gonna drive an hour to meet a woman and NOT want sex? And have lunch with the kid kicking the table the whole time? And feel OK when she ends the date after 30 minutes?
So...OP...would you be happy after making arrangements to drive 60 miles, finding the guy really doesn't want to talk about himself, he has a pet dog which is in your lap all the time and barking and he does nothing to stop it, then when you ask him if he wants you to stay, he goes "...eh..." ???
Are you motivated to have that kind of experience? | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/26/2009 1:14:22 AM | | Meet in the middle, or better yet, try dating a little closer. In my experience, long distance dating puts wuite a strain on a budding new relationship. | |
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| Why won't a guy come visit me?
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:54:35 AM | I always meet the woman for the first meet usually half way. If it's in another state or something far, if she trusts me well enough, I will go to her place and then she will drive since she knows the area. It's weird having someone drive me around since I am used to all the driving myself usually - but for a couple hundred mile trip - it's nice to have her drive.
If a woman wants to drive all the way to Chicago to see me, and not let me come see them - I either feel that A. They are hiding something (boyfriend/husband) or B. They are desperate.
So - if you are female, the MAN should always go to you, and meet him somewhere. What you SEE isn't what you always GET! No fun!
Mike | |
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