| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:28:40 PM | OK -- how do you ladies (or gentlemen) handle this? I have rejected some profiles or just looked at the profiles and not bothered with the emails, etc. and I get nasty emails in my box sometimes from men as though I OWE then an acceptance and by not showing interest I'm shallow, etc. the responses go on and on.
How do you deal with this? I've had my own share of nasty rejections-- for example one particularly NASTY person wrote back when I expressed interest, "I DONT date fat women! Dont bother contacting me again!" As though he were insulted I even tried to contact him. Of course I just wrote back and told him to "get-over himself" and left it alone ... (I dont think I'm that fat anyway-- I am not 250 or 300 plus pounds, and I'm tall and still have an attractive face) but you get the picture... what gives with the nastiness??? | |
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Bluez
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Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 2 | |
| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:36:44 PM | You know, the beauty of email is that you can delete it and be done with it. Now, unless you're wanting to take them to heart, what do you care about why they sent them? Delete and move on!
Now, just how many forums are you going to infect with this same post anyway??
Bluez | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:39:36 PM | Its not my fault-- its the system-- It wouldnt show that the post was actually POSTED.
This is the second time this happenened and I didnt receive an error message...
*shrugs shoulders* | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:40:59 PM | | I've said it many times: For most of us, there's no excuse for bad manners. But for a dreadful few, alas, there seems to be no alternative. Just gotta forget 'em. | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 1:30:58 PM | Well, you're not interested in them, so why do you care what they have to say?
Or print out all the really insulting ones and create a scrap book. Personally, I think they are somewhat funny... one time I was called a "copper-haired, two-bit, over the hill hussie"... gotta love it. | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 1:43:43 PM |
how do you ladies (or gentlemen) handle this?
Nothing to handle. No way can I allow an email to tell me how to feel.
what gives with the nastiness???
It's the same thing as when people start a forum post to "vent" (albeit sometimes couched in a question).
A person doesn't get what they want, so go use someone to do so. | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 2:52:12 PM | | that is up to you...what is the point of replying to a message if you have looked at the profile and there not your type...and that isnt being shallow....if were all honest on here both men and women ...we all know what we like or feel attracted too....if it isnt that person who has mialed you or made contact then id just say a simple thanks for the message or a thanks but no thanks then at least you have made your feeling clear....if they cant take it then tough...a message doenst mean that your now there sort off property as some men and women do think....thel get over it...lol....good luck...x | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 2:55:42 PM | LMFAO!! I can so relate... I was once called "the trailer trash of trabucco canyon"! I personally find alot of these "rejection" emails funny!  The ones that are really nasty - uh - whatEVER dudes!! Totally uncalled for but that's exactly why I am NOT interested! Yes - DELETE and if necessary - BLOOOOCCKKK! lol  | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 3:22:32 PM | OK, so you don't like it when you reject someone and the person sends you a nastygram ...
Of course I just wrote back and told him to "get-over himself"
...and yet you send nastygrams when other people reject you.
Makes about as much sense as some of the other cognitive dissonance expressed on these forums. | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:11:27 PM | It doesn't matter what you are or aren't.
Block, delete, move on.
That's why the system is soooooooo lovely...if you don't want to deal with it, you don't have to.
The problem is that YOU'RE doing the contact and THEY'RE rejecting you...that sucks don't it? But still...all you need to do is go uh uh, dumb ass, and then move on. | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:43:29 PM | Jeese, thats enough to make me want to stick a fork in someone's eye if they said that to me.
I would probably ignore it, or if it was really bad I would do the mature thing...
Point out THEIR flaws ;)
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:58:22 PM | | OP - I'm afraid that nasty replies come with the territory of online dating. Don't let them get your knickers in a knot, otherwise you'll walk funny! Whatever you do, don't stoop to their low level and reply back with an even nastier reply. Just hit the delete button and block them. | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 6:22:58 PM | How do you deal with this?
How do you deal with someone who acts like a child online? You act like an adult and ignore them of course, and don't give them the satisfaction of any reply whatsoever. Read, delete, and block...done!
I've had my own share of nasty rejections-- for example one particularly NASTY person wrote back when I expressed interest, "I DONT date fat women! Dont bother contacting me again!" As though he were insulted I even tried to contact him. Of course I just wrote back and told him to "get-over himself" and left it alone ...
And then there is this "pot calling the kettle black" nonsense. Given some of the posts you've made in the past (ie. the prof who was mean and made you cry, but you wouldn't accept his apology) I get the impression this is REALLY what this thread is all about. Was the guy a jerk for sending you such an obnoxiously rude reply? Absolutely! But you still felt the need to write back to him and get the last word, by telling him to "get over himself", rather than just ignoring him. I have news for you; that isn't leaving it alone! And now you're getting in yet another shot at him by posting this. You need to learn that if you're corresponding with an insensitive jerk, trying to get in a last jibe only invites more contact. Being an adult means knowing when to walk away, without another word. | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 6:37:21 PM | By not taking what some stranger says personally. I hear the best thing to do to avoid hateful emails after sending a polite no interest email is to block right after sending.
I'm sure everyone has been rejected on line both politely and rudely. It happens. Instead of getting bent out of shape why not focus on those that don't reject you and are interested in you?
I'm curious about the guy that sent you the email about not dating fat women. Did he say so on his profile? Did he allude to seeking someone attractive, HWP, fit, etc? While you might not consider yourself that fat because you don't weigh over 250lbs, most guys who have a preference that doesn't include anything over average will see your pic and judge by that. You might not think you are but he obviously did. No reason to take it personally. Sure, he could have been kinder but he isn't obligated to be so. Again, it's a much better use of your time to focus on those that do find you attractive and interesting.
What you focus on will determine your experience. Do you really want to focus on the negative? | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:17:43 PM | I have had reletively few rejections, most were polite. Some were simply read/delete. I have gotten a few nasty emails from men who were (apparently) initially attracted by my
photographs, but upset to learn that I didn't delete my profile after meeting my S/O, 3 & 1/2 years ago.  | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:23:38 PM | OP one thing I've learned being on a "dating site" is that anything goes including the way people speak to you.
Imagine if this was the real world and you met that guy at a party. He would have just made an excuse and walked away.
This place can be crazy at the worst of times. Oh and don't worry I've had the angry ones too. Just brush them off.......... | |
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| Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:45:19 PM |
Block the user, delete the message and move on.
Then later he can post a thread wondering why he gets blocked after emails.
Yep, I'm with sidewinder on this! | |
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