| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:03:59 PM | At a PoF event a lady and I were talking about PoF itself and I mentioned the forums as being one of the biggest reasons I signed up (and paid). I love to talk and debate so of course the forums are a big attraction for me.
This Lady warned me that the last five posts I've made show up in my profile (which I already knew but appreciated her looking out for me). The thing is I think that is a net benefit for me - I want women that are checking me out to see more of what I'm like, warts and all. It saves them and me a lot of grief and time in the long run.
Do you think there are many people that really do hold back or try to say "the right thing" when posting because of this feature?
I realize that those who actually do aren't about to answer this question truthfully so I'll settle for the general opinion of the populace on whether its a common affliction or not.
Edit: The reason I'm wondering is because I always check recent posts of those that seem interesting - find it's a great addition to a profile. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:51:35 PM | I doubt that many people would write something they didn't believe in order to put a better foot forward. Most of us who regularly post to the forums, enjoy expressing our true feelings on matters. We like the idea that others get to really know us much better than by just reading our profiles. I find that you get a much better idea of who a person is by reading not only WHAT they said, but in what forums they prefer to participate.
I met the man in my life due to the POF forums and I'll always be grateful. He read some of my posts and decided to write to me. The rest is history. He was able to get quite an accurate portrayal of who I am by reading my views on various subjects, and he liked what he read. I was also able to see his views on different subjects and it piqued my interest in getting to know him better. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:02:50 PM | I am always me..as much as possible...when I post...both because it does give anyone reading me an idea of who I am..which is a good thing...and because I like posting for the opportunity to express my opinions, and because I can be me....warts and all. So, no, I woudn't hold back...( well, wait a minute..I don't post on the sex threads often...but, when I do, I am a bit cautious about what I say...both because I prefer personal info to be divulged to only certain people, and because I don't want to draw anymore unwanted attention..lol)
I have a friend, who doesn't belong here, but, visits my profile just to read my posts..I always thought that was a compliment... | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:10:11 PM | | I don't hold anything back in the forums. I say what I need to say. I am not trying to impress anyone. I think that people are more likely to show their true colors in the forums, especially in the more heated debates. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:40:24 PM | I hadn't realized they were attached to a person's profile where other people could read them, until you mentioned it. I just checked yours, and sure enough -- there were the posts.
But now that I know, I won't do anything differently. It's still conversation and opinions, whether they are expressed in writing or aloud. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:41:10 PM |
Do you think there are many people that really do hold back or try to say "the right thing" when posting because of this feature?
I think they would do that (hold back, manipulate opinion) due to the "history" feature. The last five may show up on the profile. But if someone clicks on one, they then have the option to look up their entire posting history...or a significant portion of the history.
So it seems kind of stupid to hold back to improve the profile.
Unless someone holds back or manipulates all of their forum posts to manipulate how everyone sees them. I would think that is much more prevalent.
But I don't think it's for the benefit of their profile so much as a benefit to their self image. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:42:40 PM | I don't really think about the fact that my posts show up in my profile. Most of the times the things I say in the forums are things I have said in my profile anyway.
I think if someone felt they had an opinion that may not be attractive to potential suitors, they would just keep it to themselves and not post it as opposed to posting an opinion that wasn't theirs. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:37:37 PM | | Every word of each of my forum posts is placed carefully to have a seductive effect on women around the world. It's building slowly and will become in due time a force greater than global warming. Expect a mass migration and an orgasmic frenzy, any day now. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:40:15 PM | NOpe its me...................like it or move on............If i post to appeal to all......who would i be...................a rug ???? door mat..... do you want mary poppins all the time??
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:45:43 PM |
Every word of each of my forum posts is placed carefully to have a seductive effect on women around the world. It's building slowly and will become in due time a force greater than global warming. Expect a mass migration and an orgasmic frenzy, any day now.
hahaha...He's not kidding.... | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:59:21 PM | I think in the grand scheme of things, forum posts appearing on one's profile is a good thing. If someone reads something I've written and is very much turned off by my opinion on a certain topic, doesn't that save me time in the long run?
What I've found though is more often it's only after a man has exchanged a few messages and perhaps a phone call or a 1st meet, then they actually look at my entire profile and see the forum posts. So far I've only received positive feedback from those men.
But then, I do refrain from posting at a certain time of the month when my "filter" may not be working so nicely (and I note that other posters prolly should do the same thing lest they come across as raving angry people).
And I also often withhold my opinion on some subjects (because of past experiences in attracting the wrong sort of attention; i.e., very specific questions in sex & dating). There's just some things I don't think every Tom, D!ck & Harry needs to know about me 
Farceur - should I stay indoors or strap myself down for the massive earth movement? LOL | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:12:55 AM | | Nope, I am who I am, like me or hate me I will speak my mind and say it like it is, and if someone doesn't like it, well I'm sorry but you'll either accept me "as-is" or you won't accept me at all. What you see and hear is what you get, granted I am certanly not for everyone, but for the close friends I have they like me as I am and appreciate it which might be why they often ask me for advice or for my opinions. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 3:22:38 AM | No way - I think it works the OTHER way! Often I will look into what a guy has written in a forum to get a better/deeper understanding of his values/attitudes and perspectives on contraversial(sp?) or interesting topics... If anything I think people who ELABORATE rather than HOLD-BACK in forums do better as they give potential dates/friends a deeper view of what they are interested in/care about and ultimately where they are coming from, yeah?
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:16:37 AM | | I hope men read them. Just more to add to my profile that shows who I am, how I think and that I basically will not take any BS from anyone. People's personalities come out anyway...may as well see me for who I am (as much as possible). I feel holding back anything in life is just not good. To holding back is a form of "lying". I would rather know it all in my face. People may have less problems if they actually KNEW more about someone. I am reaching a point (as far as if I meet anyone else from here) to meet someone FROM the forums. At least I have a better feel for who they really are. We do not always have to agree, but just to see how someone's mind works...can be a benefit in itself. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:28:10 AM | Truth always.
A. I highly doubt I can find the man I want on this site. When I do find interesting guy within the parameters of "acceptable", they live the hell away.
*note to self: check up on my faraway friend!!*
Hence on the forums, I am my "not so sweet self" as much as I want.
B. If a guy doesn't like my opinionated butt, we will not get along in a long term. Which is what I would like from a relationship. Getting along for a longer while.
C. Pretending you're someone else is just so bloody exhausting!
D. In real life I am much nicer. So if he can deal with the loudmouth moments, he will love me for my sweet side as well.
Disclaimer: or the above could be :
"Every word of each of my forum posts is placed carefully to have a seductive effect on women around the world. It's building slowly and will become in due time a force greater than global warming. Expect a mass migration and an orgasmic frenzy, any day now."
In 3.... 2..... 1...... | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:34:45 AM | Really, chatting in forums is a bit like chatting socially. If you're sensible, you're not going to be divulging your innermost opinions and thoughts, you save that for when you're amongst close friends.
I can't see the point in giving false opinions etc in threads simply in order to look good. What would be the point if you're trying to make new friends? | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:37:34 AM | No way!! I actually encourage whoever checks out my profile to see my forum posts.
If she doesn't like them, or disagree with me on some of the subjects, chances are we won't be getting along.. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:22:38 AM | | Unlike the previous posters, I would like the option to choose which posts appear on my profile. After all, our profiles are first impressions. Doesn't mean that I necessarily want everything put out there right off the bat. With that in consideration, I sometimes will not comment on a post knowing it will show up on my profile. I don't hold back that much, but it is a consideration that I take into account before I post. | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:53:45 AM | | No I say exactly what I think on here. Actually a woman message me recently about a post she saw on my profile asking me if I knew every one could see it. I honestly could not care less, but I'm not looking for dates. My posts might be different otherwise! | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:56:18 AM | No I could give two sheets but I do hold back because I am a nice gal sometimes and because if I have an opinion that is different I realize it is my opinion and I am not trying to change someones thoughts just offer a little insight when they ask.
There are times when I recognise BS though and I will usually call someone on it.
Thanks for the laugh farceur you always seem to make me giggle lol | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 11:56:32 AM | As my posting history will abundantly demonstrate, I don't hold back in the forums. By the same token, I'd feel like a horrible failure to my own values and integrity if I held back in the forums solely to improve my profile.
I'm rarely intentionally mean, but I'm blunt nearly 100% of the time. I understand that some p0eople are more emotionally delicate and don't deal well with certain kinds of conversation, but at the end of the day, I can't let others' limitations establish barriers for me. I'm fairly certain that I've "shot myself in the foot" with more than one lady on this site without having even known it; she's taken a look at a post of mine, and concluded that she'd never want to talk with me. That's fine. At the end of the day, the type of woman who I would do best with is going to be someone who appreciates honesty, even when that honesty isn't going to spare someone's feelings. I've found that for all the times women say they want a man who's going to be honest with them, when that honesty presents itself, it carries such force of personality and projected strength that they aren't sure how to deal with it, and immediately become uncomfortable.
Without even knowing it, I've been emulating, in terms of personality, a character from literature for most of my adult life. I'm just now finishing the book. If you want a good idea of what I perceive beneficial and worthwhile honesty to be, and also a good look at the way I tend to be honest, take a good, hard look at the character of Hank Rearden in Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged". | |
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| Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 6/27/2009 1:01:23 PM | Hold back?? Only wussies hold back. 
If I don't agree with someone ... usually in the more controversial threads ... I take the "in your face approach".  I never back down ... been in "plentyoffights" and have faced suspension by the Mods. One time, some poster emailed me in private because he didn't like my opinion ... said the world would be a better place when I die.  I posted his private message for all to see because he didn't have the balls to read a reply. Things turned even nastier and we both got suspended. I look at that as the mark of a true forum warrior. Woohoo!! | |
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