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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?      Home login  
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 atwork121
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 1
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I have a question for the ladies out there. When you go out on a date with someone how do you know whether you will hear from him again or not? Like what are some things a guy has done or not done that would tell he is not that into you? In the past, I have gone out with some guys and a few have just disappeared. I am the type of girl that doesn't ask a guy out, I like having them ask me out. I was just wondering, what are some signs that show he is not interested? Not calling you? Not texting? How long is it normal to wait after a date without seeing him? 1 week? 2 weeks? If you could share some stories that would be great. Thanks.
 LoveDriving
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 2
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:12:47 PM
There is not way of knowing really unless he tells you up front: "It was nice meeting you, but I'm not interested".
If he doesn't call\text\e-mail you the next day - means there is no second date.
 ShortBlonde1985
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 3
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:14:41 PM
You will never know. I have had great dates where more plans are made then they disappear. And Ive had awful dates and they want to hang out again.
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 4
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How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:16:06 PM
Body language says tons... but no one ever knows for sure.
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 5
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:23:02 PM
You have to say this..... I like you. I really like you.... probably too much to be JUST friends. So, I think we should not continue this situation, unless you feel the same way..... then PAUSE, wait for his answer. Then, say, am I understanding that you want to be in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP? If this is true.... does this mean that you do not want to date anyone, except for me.... and I also agree to not date anyone except for you? In order to get to know one another better?

This works every time. You can do it by the third date!
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 6
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How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:23:54 PM
It's hard to tell right away. Give it time. If he hasn't called or returned any calls in weeks or months, he's not into you.

True, I had a nice date few months ago with a guy I met at a dance. We went to a movie and he spent quite a bit on food. Everything went well and he was even looking at future movies. Then, he disappeared.

A really awful date I had a month before that, seemed obsessive after 1 date, though we did nothing. I mean we were not intimate, but he did not take me out for coffee like he mentioned. He just wanted to hang out at the mall. Then I found out he lied on his profile. No car or job (DUI conviction). I forgot what occupation he put, but he said he had a car. It was 3 hours of running back and forth, him saying he had to be somewhere.
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 7
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:47:03 PM

ou have to say this..... I like you. I really like you.... probably too much to be JUST friends. So, I think we should not continue this situation, unless you feel the same way..... then PAUSE, wait for his answer. Then, say, am I understanding that you want to be in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP? If this is true.... does this mean that you do not want to date anyone, except for me.... and I also agree to not date anyone except for you? In order to get to know one another better?

This works every time. You can do it by the third date!


I had a woman pull that on me during a first meeting. I was semi interested in her and might have asked her out a second time until she started in with the "so are you interested in a commited relationship, I want to know so I can stop looking".

I was like..."I don't think so...". It was a real turn off.

Then again, I recently was in a short "2 week" thing with a woman I met on this site. We hit it off from day 1, and by the end of the first week I told her that I had found what I was looking for and I pulled my profile...looking back on how it suddenly crashed and burned, it was probably a mistake, even though she said things to me like "You are the only one I have met on this site that I ever liked", and "we are so good for each other"...

You gotta take it slow with the other person or more often than not, they're gonna bolt.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 8
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How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:25:35 PM
Outside of the guys who liked me a lot calling me the same night or the next day, you will never know for sure. All you can do is live in the moment, enjoy the meeting, and keep all your eggs out of the same basket so that when one doesn't come around you're too busy making other plans to notice.

*shrug*
 prurire
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 9
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:28:02 PM
For the most part, I don't ever assume or expect I will ever see them again. This allows me to enjoy the moment and the person without worrying about any future or further communication or dates.

It is enough that if I am interested, I will let them know.

If I don't hear from someone within a few days after the date (no more than a week) and after I have called, txted, or emailed then I assume they weren't interested in seeing me again.

Now, if I do hear from them and it has been a week or more since we went out then I assume that I am one of many and that directly effects any interest I might have had in them. Unless, of course, there is a definitive and plausible reason why they haven't called.

Really, if you don't spend time worrying about what other people do and focusing on doing what you enjoy and meeting people you want to then you will have much better experiences.
 LoveDriving
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 10
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:32:00 PM

Then again, I recently was in a short "2 week" thing with a woman I met on this site. We hit it off from day 1, and by the end of the first week I told her that I had found what I was looking for and I pulled my profile...looking back on how it suddenly crashed and burned, it was probably a mistake, even though she said things to me like "You are the only one I have met on this site that I ever liked", and "we are so good for each other"...

I had exactly same experience 2 weeks ago and it lasted 2 weeks as well. He would say things like "Where have you been all my life", called me his GF, said that he is not logging in on POF anymore. It was wierd but nice at the same time, but obviousely - too soon too much.


You gotta take it slow with the other person or more often than not, they're gonna bolt.

Totaly agree with you on this one!
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 11
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:50:33 PM

lissa3737-Totaly agree with you on this one!


So you wanna get married?

 Maha Rodrigues
Joined: 4/2/2009
Msg: 12
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:58:45 PM

For the most part, I don't ever assume or expect I will ever see them again. This allows me to enjoy the moment and the person without worrying about any future or further communication or dates.


Dittos on your entire post.
From square one nearly everything here is at a 50% (or less) basis anyway.
Life is too short to put the brakes on life and sweat over one man.
 LoveDriving
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 13
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:58:58 PM

So you wanna get married?

Hehe
Not biting on this one AGAIN
 Krystal413
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 14
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How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:02:07 PM

You have to say this..... I like you. I really like you.... probably too much to be JUST friends. So, I think we should not continue this situation, unless you feel the same way..... then PAUSE, wait for his answer. Then, say, am I understanding that you want to be in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP? If this is true.... does this mean that you do not want to date anyone, except for me.... and I also agree to not date anyone except for you? In order to get to know one another better?


What? You are supposed to ask them to be exclusive by the 3rd date?? This works for you? Or are you being sarcastic?? (I am thinking sarcastic here.....)
 queensgirl09
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 15
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:11:23 PM
It depends how often the guy calls you before your first date. If he used to call you everyday or text you everyday, most likely he'll call you within 24 to 48 hours after your date if he really want to see you again. But if he doesn't really call or text you that often, before your first meeting, then just wait for a week. If you didn't hear from him after a week then just move on.
 2hot2dfine
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 16
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:56:32 PM
Im absolutely not sure I wish I knew I have like amazing dates and we make plans to the T and never get a text or phone call! I guess the best way to find out is to just be upfront with them and ask but usually they BS through that as well!!!!
 Bonspeed
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 17
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:19:19 PM
I know I'll die... and I know for certain I'll pay taxes...

That's about it.

 AmeliaMD
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 18
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How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:56:20 PM
To idoc_steve,

I don't see why you would be "turned off" by a woman asking you what you want or what you are looking for. I believe that everyone has the right to know right off the bat what they are dealing with so that they don't waste any time or money on someone who's just looking to play games, "have fun", or pass the time.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 19
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How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:04:37 PM
If you expect him to make all the phone calls then you know you won't hear from him again - because he'll know you're not interested.
 Maha Rodrigues
Joined: 4/2/2009
Msg: 20
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:13:48 PM

If you expect him to make all the phone calls then you know you won't hear from him again - because he'll know you're not interested.


You should have your own relationship column.
Do you have a blog?
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 21
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How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:58:00 PM

Do you have a blog?
Not yet. Think I should start one?

I agree that often the guy is a jerk - not taking calls, ignoring messages, says he'll call but doesn't, etc etc.
But if both people are not making the effort to contact one another, then they are both to blame. It takes two people to not contact one another.
I've met one girl whom I was really interested in but she would never call. I had to make all the calls, make all the plans, do all the driving, make all the decisions, etc. She told me she was "old fashioned" and thats how she liked it (she was 25yrs old at the time). I eventually got bored and stopped calling. A relationship should be mutual.
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 22
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How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:50:58 AM

How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?

When he says "I'll call you."
 Sidewinder154
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 23
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:56:01 AM
I used to just take my magic 8 ball with me and ask during my trip to the bathroom. Once in a while it would come up "yes" but most of the time it just said "can not be decided. Ask again later". Meh....

On a serious note, it's body language, the conversation, how well the conversation goes, etc.
 Srqforums
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 24
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:15:55 AM
rockondon wrote:
But if both people are not making the effort to contact one another, then they are both to blame. It takes two people to not contact one another.


which is why I ask them at the first coffee/drink meeting-do you like it when a woman calls you and/or do you prefer to be the one to do the "calling". If a man says, I prefer to call you, then I know-he isn't into me and so far, I've been 100% correct

even when he departs saying I'll call you... I dunno maybe, he fell into a big black hole never to be heard from again oh well, I'd never be able to know you fell into the hole and help you out of it because you told me not to call you
 tina7578
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 25
How do you know you won't hear from him/her again?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:59:53 AM

You gotta take it slow with the other person or more often than not, they're gonna bolt

I don't know ... something I've always believed is when it's truly the right person, even if it's not something that ends in a super long-term relationship, they're NOT going to bolt b/c they're going to be right there, on the exact same page as you, and going "too fast" simply doesn't exist.

But as for the original question, I always know when I don't hear from them first after we meet. Seems when a man is really into you, he lets you know pretty quickly after the first date, which is always a great feeling, unless you're not into him, then it kinda sucks, lol.
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