| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:16:05 PM | | I have given my all several times in my life. I Have been married twice before and both times I would go over the road driving a rig to make life better for her. I came home both times early to suprize her and she was in bed with another guy. I was married to two differant women just to clarify that. I was bringing in over $1000 per week. Niether one of them even had to work. I would come home and give my undivided attention. I gave my whole heart to her and called her just to say hi several times a day. If she needed me back home, I would get routed back ASAP. No indication was ever presented that the relationship was headed south. I braved the harsh winters up north and the blistering heat just to provide for my wife and make her life easy. Why is it so hard to get her to apreciate this, and how could I ever trust a woman again? | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:21:08 PM | | You are the common denominator, what do you think you need to change? If you didnt have kids, why the heck were you making it so each of them didnt have to do a damn thing? It sounds like you were way to nice, which means you were being a doormat for them. | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:23:18 PM | | I'm sorry that happened to you! Not fair at all. But my question to you is, do you think you were there a little TOO much? I believe that, even though you're in a relationship and a couple, you should still have seperate things you enjoy apart (though, being in bed with someone else isn't one of them.) Familiarity breeds contempt they say... I hope you don't give up on us yet though! There are still some good ones left out there. Good luck! | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:23:22 PM | You picked the wrong women. What made you marry them? Did you date for over a year or did you marry them within months?
Make better choices. And you might want to google why women cheat, it is very different than why men cheat. Sorry it happened to you, now learn why it happened and don't do it again :) | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:29:23 PM | I'm sorry to hear you have had such bad luck and understand you saying that you will find it difficult to trust again.
My theory about why this has happened to you twice is that you are attracted to a certain type of woman. Looking back, can you spot similarities in them as people? How well did they treat other people in their lives?
But I can't understand/explain someone cheating on their partner! | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:30:11 PM |
I am divorced because my x couldn't be faithful while I was out on the road making our living. Trust is a big issue with me.
OP - that's from your profile. Sorry but you need to do some healing before you go looking for another longterm relationship, otherwise you're bound to repeat the cycle. | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:07:05 PM | | Same thing happened to me, I stopped going OTR because of it. I don't know if you can trust women, and let's face it I'm sure the men sleeping with them knew they were married, so how do you trust anyone? If you have to drive OTR you need to find a woman that will come with you, most companies have a ride along program now. | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:57:40 PM | OP, I'm very sorry that happened to you. Yes, you can trust women. You say they "didn't ahve to work", but did you stop them from working? Or did they just not bother?
I think if you choose the kind of job you have, having them also supporting is a good thing, not a bad thing. If someone's home all day by themselves whiel you're on the road; some people deal with the boredom (obviously) in destructive ways.
I don't agree or condone in any way what they did; but finding someone who can help you support each other, (takes two; don't "carry" them) would help you and them.
You will have I believe more luck if you show mutual respect, allow her to give to you as well as you giving to her (not only for your sake, but hers. People need to feel needed and respected; they don't want to be coddled, shut away or "owned".
It's awesome that you are such a caretaker. But maybe when you have healed from these particular two, find people who aren't just "takers" and women with integrity. But until you learn to trust, don't date. Because there is nothing worse than being considered guilty until proven innocent. You will always be looking for guilt; and whatever you look for you will find, whether it's actualy there or not.
VERY best of luck to you and again, I'm very sorry | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 11:40:25 PM | You were away from home way too much. Well some women can be faithful...maybe, when the guy has a job like that.
#2 You said they didn't have to work. I don't care if I'm making 13k a month...get out and do something. I don't care if you work at...the baby gap. Roll cigarettes...something. Idle minds... | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/28/2009 11:47:39 PM | Being frequently far away from a woman who isn't working, doesn't have to care for children and has nothing but time on her hands is a recipe for trouble.
If she's not of a mind to volunteer for charity or at the library, what else is she going to do? You can only watch so much "Maury" before the mailman starts looking pretty good. | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:25:55 AM | | There are people who cant control themselves, men and women. Sorry you landed two losers OP, but the women I know who have travellers for hubbies are very supportive and do not cheat. Your picker is broken! | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:39:53 AM | If someone's home all day by themselves whiel you're on the road; some people deal with the boredom (obviously) in destructive ways. Very True.
Your picker is broken! So is this one.
If you make that kind of money, are you sure that both of these women ever loved you to begin with? Not all women marry for love- money and security purposes is the reason for wedlock. They have affairs with the ones they desire.
Your OTR job and money making ability actually encourage this type of behavior. She has the best of both worlds- a man bringing in the dough thats not home enough to catch her on the prowl.
There's no real way to avoid picking this kind of woman, but make sure she has a job or something else that keeps her busy. Idle hands are the devil's workshop! | |
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| The harder I try The less I achieve, why?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:11:29 PM | Apparently something was lacking. If you give someone everything, if they're a leech, they'll take it and run with it. Relationships have to be 50/50 and if one partner is putting their heart and soul into things, and the other is not, something is not right.
Sounds like you were too good to them, they took advantage of that and the fact that you were on the road a lot. They used that as an opportunity for sex.
You are better off without them. And yeah if there are no kids involved, they shouldhave been working as well. | |
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Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 19 | |
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