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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:07:45 AM | Today is my first time to post a question to the "Ask A Guy" forum.
Why do some guys find it necessary to judge and insult you, instead of just answering your question. It is a cold cruel world, when there are people out there that try to drag you down. My belief is that we should all try to lift each other up. I am new to this dating thing, as I was married for 12 years, recently divorced, and recently buried my daughter's father. So guys.....as well as ladies. Before you judge, or criticize somebody on these forums, stop for a moment, and try to consider some of the hardships that these people have had to endure. Don't be the weight to help drown somebody. Try to be the helping hand instead. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:20:11 AM | Rose, i am very sorry you lost your husband to his suicide. I too lost my Father and my sister in 2005 due to a wreck.
But Rose, you are attempting to CONDONE saying that a man must have lots of money or you will not see him or even try to love him. Bad events do not make right a free path to start doing things wrong. What if because my exwife left me for a man whom impreganted her (While still be married to me)and my losing my Father and sister if i used that as a license to only speak to women with money???
I would be doing wrong because bad things happened to me, and that does not make anything right!!!. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:29:13 AM | Sorry for a repost, but this is sad!!!!
Let me explain this in another way Rose.
If a good woman loved me and cared for me, and another woman comes around with money money money, because bad things have happened to me this would make it right to hurt this other woman and leave her for a woman with money???????? That is what you're doing!!
Just like your email earlier, you stated many other forum topics would condone your only choosing men with lots of money. SO...if 50 forum people tell me they hurt others and leave them for people with mega bucks, that the majority of wrong doers makes it right???
Now you start a second topic, to get a supposed second set of users to tell you you are right and ignore the posters from the last topic?? You don't give up!! This is sad! | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:31:45 AM | I'm not sure why people insulted you or if they even did. Sometimes questions in POF forums can be deceiving in the typed form. You may mean one thing but people take it a whole other way.
Another possible reason may be this. I've been on POF for quite awhile. I've had only ONE person EVER contact me. NOT for the LACK of trying either. Some people are here now for the forums only. You MAY have hit a soft spot with your question.
As for me. I'm talented, have a career, planned, educated, and live in the greatest state of the Union! lol So I believe that people are up here mostly for the forums or say they are looking for one thing but really want something else! It HAS enlightened me to a profound extent how people really are when behind a computer describing themselves. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:33:27 AM | | That is not what I said. I just expect a person to be self supporting. Never did I say a man has to have LOTS of money. I was insulted by your accussations of me being into prostitution, just because of a question that I asked. Money is not important to me, as much as it is that a person could be happy in life with what they can attain without dying to get it. I don't shun anybody for not having money. What I shun, is people wanting more than what they are meant to have in life. God did not tell us, go get rich and become materialistic fools. I just want happiness as much as the next guy, but if the man in my life has to have fancy things to be happy, then I will be happy too, as long as he can afford the things that HE wants. I'm not rich by any means, and I don't expect the man to be rich either, but I can't buy him exspensive things, so if he wants them ,he needs to be able to buy them himself. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:41:34 AM | I can't figure out why you are misunderstanding what I said. I am not looking for a rich man. MONEY IS NOT IMPORTANT TO ME.
I would prefer to have somebody in my life that would be content getting a tub of worms, and going camping and fishing. Somebody that would be happy to sit at home sometimes, and just do nothing at all. Somebody that would just be there, and not worry about what others would think of them, by what they owned or didn't own. But, if that person did feel they are only worth what they have in life, then I would want them to be able to get it for themsleves. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:53:29 AM | This is amazing. A person that says they aren't what they said earlier but now claims they would choose a guy that would be content with a bucket of worms. Earlier you stated you would only from this point choose and be with males with lots of money.
I never said you were in prostitution. What i said is that if you ignore one person for not having more money and only choose another with a great deal of money regardless of their moral character that it would be a grand form of prostitution.
If i would not speak to women with less money but only women with MONEY..that would make me a male prostitute. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:54:44 AM | Why do some guys find it necessary to judge and insult you, instead of just answering your question.
The short answer is that some men just don't know how to properly communicate with women and can at times be very insensitive/non-compassionate.
Part of it is the overwhelming testosterone to estrogen ratio. The another part is pure bullheadedness. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 2:00:23 AM | | Well Bubba. I went back and read what I wrote, and never did I once say "LOTS OF MONEY". I did say that I would prefer they have money, but that doesn't specifically say how much. A guy can make $35,000 a year, and have money, if he knows how to manage it. And, a guy can make $150,000 a year, and be in debt over his head. So, your idea, and my idea of money, is two different percetions. So again, I will ask you to stop judging me, and stop criticizing me. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 2:23:10 AM | First off, you need to go re read your topics name of "Is wanting money really a bad thing? " Secondly i have found in this life that people tell on themselves by things around them. Look at all the money figures in your post above.
I am not judging you either, what i did was tell you how it os categorized for your chosen choices. The choosing of money in place of love..or the choice to walk away from love to attain money.
Here is where morality steps in Rose. It would never be my thoughts to make a topic about any dates money sistuation desire. The thought is in your mind and is indeed those of your choices to mingle money into love or sexual and that my dear is prostitution.
But never mind Rose. I can see that you're the type whom will feel you're right whenever a handfull of users tell you it is right to only choose men with money.
When you find your rich man i hope you save copies of my replies and look back on them. And i doubt you would ever have the right to say later in life, why did i never find love?? When you find him, spend well and plenty.. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 2:36:33 AM | First off, I am offended that you are insulted because sometimes the truth hurts and we don't wanna hear it.
Secondly, we all have our own philosophies and beliefs. therefore, we don't necessarily share all of the same beliefs.
Now, I'm sorry for your circumstances.
But the bottomline is..........we are strangers and owe you nothing! | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 4:46:40 AM | I've said it before ...
For most of us, there's no excuse for bad manners. But for a troubled few, alas, there seems to be no alternative. Just ignore them & take advice from the people who matter most to you. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 5:01:22 AM | | Many of the forum people are bitter, they have been hurt, many times they linger here to only lash out at someone. Other times they aren't smart enough to understand your question in the first place, so they pick a key phrase in your post and rant about that. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 7:46:09 AM | Green Eyed Rose,
I am so sorry for your loss. This was obviously an extremely difficult event for you and your family.
As far as people feeling that you are a gold digger, I would not take it personally. Everyone is just expressing their opinions. It is the difference of opinion which make these forums so great. If you post your opinion on any topic, you have to expect to be disagreed with, and at times misinterpreted.
I can understand where you were coming from. You are more interested in whether or not they are responsible with money as opposed to how much money they make.
Truth be told, how a person keeps their financial house in order can be a insight into certain intangibles, such as whether or not the person is responsible and has good decision making skills.
Obviously such a terrible event has had and will always have an enormousness impact on your life, though I would try and avoid judging a future relationship based on this. I would hate to see you miss out on a great guy because he carries a little credit card debt.
Best regards.  | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 8:20:35 AM | Thanks Deacan. You seem to understand what I am saying in the type of perspective I am trying to portray. Unfortunately, I seem to choose the wrong words too many times.
I'm not looking for wealth, just somebody that is financially responsible. A little credit card debt, is not a problem. The relationship I was in before, he created so much debt, it was sort of like "Robbing Peter to save Paul", and I think the stress of all his debt only contributed to his decision to end his life.
I refuse to turn a blind eye to any guy, wether he have money or not. I know that my soul mate could possibly have very little money, and that's okay, as long as he doesn't feel the need to value himself by his material possessions.
I have seen the effects of marrying for money. My cousin married for money. The money did not make her happy. They treat each other very disrespectfully, and have both gotten addictions to their own drug of choice. They love each other now, but they are having to beat their addictions, and work through the problems they created.
I guess the only thing that matters, is that I know what I meant to say. I should not worry about what others PULL out of it, or TAKE from it. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 11:07:17 AM | | Sometimes a persons problem is them, and there is no way to say that without hurting their feelings. I do not agree with all the bashing that goes on here, and often that bashing has nothing to do with the post, and is of no help. When people do that, it is becuase they enjoy hurting others. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 3:33:40 PM | Miss Greeneyed Rose.
This is the internet.
Don't let the opinions of strangers bother you.
Especially goofy guys.
I mean if you want talk serious online abuse,
go post a question in "Ask a Shrew".
Them ladies are merciless.
:-P | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 3:40:43 PM | | It happens. I have the same sentiments about the Ask a Girl Forum...I refer to it as the "Lion's Den." Just take everything that is said in these forums with a grain of salt. We may act like licensed therapist but we are in fact bored people that have nothing else to do that think we know all the answers. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 5:51:06 PM |
Why do some guys find it necessary to judge and insult you, instead of just answering your question.
Do you have an example of the question you are talking about? It is sort of hard to understand what you mean and give you perspective without seeing the question you felt you were judged or insulted on. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 8:18:10 PM | To above poster. She made another topic several days ago stating she had decided she would only start dating men if they had lots of money. Several of us told her it sounded like gold digging to us and so she made this topic to attempt to smooth it over.
She never tried to hide her fashion style of being a hustler as she babbled on is it really wrong to seek out rich men and ignore regular 80k per year joes. I told her i felt it was a glamorous style of prostitution. | |
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