| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/29/2009 3:58:37 AM | Hi,
I would like some honest opinions of my profile. The main questions that I have are:-
Is it too long?
Is it too short?
Should I take the jokes out?
Should I leave them in?
Is the photo ok?
Aything else that you wish to comment on.
Thanks | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/29/2009 4:08:36 AM | Hi, OP.
There are a number of aspects of your profile I think I should be changed, but this one, found toward the end, is suicidal:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
If you have a girlfriend, you shouldn't be here.
If you don't have a girlfriend, you should remove that entire section because few here, if any, will give you the benefit of the doubt. | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/29/2009 4:28:12 AM | Thank you for that,
I had put that on as it was a joke that I particularly liked.
I did not realise it read as being from me as it is written in the first person.
Thanks | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:05:19 AM |
Should I take the jokes out?
Yes, I don't think the jokes are going to help you get contacts here. | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:21:43 AM | This is perfect if your aim is to be the how not to do it guy....
The first half is essentially a list of random things about you, all of which start with "I". It's a bit Diana Ross without the hair mate. Then we move into the second half which is like an audition gone wrong for a standup routine... Delete, murder it, try giving it away to someone you don't like as a secret punishment. You are a cute guy and don't appear to be a div so lets build something that will have the women flocking to you and not the back button.
First off killer opening line, something that grabs em, you tend to have about a 30 second window of opportunity. So use it, once you have them give them a view of you, humor is clearly a big part of you so let it show. But your humor and not the rough as stuff you have now lol... Breathe deep and just be you, use cohesive sentences and start with a variety of words not just "I". Pull out the big boy vocabulary and show it off. Women like articulate men, couple that with natural humor and you are fine.
Now ease into your passions, what are they? What moves you, grabs your attention, what do you like doing. Share this with the rest of the class. And finally move into who you seek, who is she, what is she like. Be clear and descriptive and specific so when she wanders past she sees herself in it. Otherwise Mademoiselle Right may do a Dionne Warwick and walk on by quite literally. The rules, no cuddling, cuddly or any other version of the word. If you want to make that point known use tactile. Women love tactile but cuddle 99% of the time is chick repellent. No topless shots, we ain't interested, no bathroom or bed shots either... You want a woman not Jeremy Kyles next guest. Just be you and throw in a bit of British charm and you will be fine baby... | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:57:44 AM | I'd take off the song at the end. What are you trying to tell us??!!
A photo of you smiling would help. | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:14:43 AM | Thanks alot for your input.
Looks like I will have a lot of re-writing to do on it......... Basically scrap the lot and start again, it has been very good to get your thoughts on it.
I have never been at all sure what to put in this sort of thing.
Thank you | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/30/2009 4:21:45 AM | Well there we go, have done a first rough re-write of it.
Again I am looking for help with it, please let me know your thoughts good and bad, preferably bad with constructive criticism.
Thanks | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/30/2009 4:47:23 AM | | Enormous improvement, now how bout being a bit abstract and adding a section about who you are looking for honey... You seem to have skipped that entirely... | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/30/2009 4:52:04 AM | The profile is talk/email
Your pics do not look like the same person.
You appear to have dark hair and in good shape in one.
Blonde and chubby face in the other.
I didn't find the content appealing.
Just an opinion................ | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/30/2009 4:55:43 AM | | Thanks, will start stringing that together over the next while. | |
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| Honest opinions please
Posted: 6/30/2009 5:37:13 AM | Thanks Anjelic, the pictures are of me, my hair colour tends to vary with the seasons, the ones when I am in my race kit are about 9 months older, and before I got a bit more in shape so probably about 1.5 stone heavier..
Will bear the comments in mind and think about adding a bit on that in there.
Thanks | |
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