| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:52:27 AM | I am interested in an older man and I feel that I have a lot to offer, even though I am young. I want to take it slow so he doesn't feel overwhelmed. I am concerned that I might be sending him the wrong signals by focusing on our friendship more than romance. It makes me wonder if he hoped for someone different (older, more confident)
He is great when he does contact me but it doesn't happen as much as I want. I am not sure if he wants to be just friends or if he is just taking it slow out of respect. Is that an unconscious sign that he isn't really interested in me? What if another women intervenes who moves faster? Is he just settling for less than what he wanted?
Give me some advise, guys! Should I speed things up a bit or just let nature take its course?
 | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:01:05 AM | | I'm sure he is honored by you interest, but unsure of what you are seeking from him. If you seem to be playing the friend game, he may assume that you see him more as a father figure. If that is the case then yes if a woman comes along and moves faster then you she will take his interest. This is one of situations where you're going to have to be clear about what you want with him. He might feel a little overwhelmed buy he'll get over that fast enough. You don't have to move things faster than you are comfortable with, but you should let him know of your interest. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:09:11 AM | | Give him a kiss, slip him a bit of tongue so he doesn't think it's a "fatherly" kiss, then you can sit back and let things happen at their own pace because he'll know what you're feeling. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:20:54 AM | lol, that has happened! good advice.
the relationship is like 90% friendly and 10% physical. I want to be more affectionate and not annoying so I just freeze up and give him plenty of "personal space"
I want to explore his personal space :)
Wouldn't he make a move if he wanted to? . . . | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:52:57 AM | If a man is interested in you romantically, you'd know.
He'd make darn sure of that. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:01:17 PM | | well im going to be dating an older guy...so im kind of in the same place. i worry maybe he'll think im too young for him. but maybe some guys are happier with girls younger than them? | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:03:03 PM | | My experience with wanting to "respect space" for too long is that the fire burns out. I believe there is a way of saying straight up your interest to take it up a notch without seeming like you are going to be a space invader. Sometimes that progression happens naturally and other times it just needs a little nudge but don't wait too long to nudge. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:44:51 PM | Lol wait, wait...you have said you are focusing more on friendship--meaing you are taking it slow--but yet you're frustrated that he's doing the same??
And you women wonder why we get so confused and end up stop talking to you. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:45:52 PM | You ask him to take it slow... so he does. Then you wonder if he's just not that into you.
Girl logic escapes me sometimes. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:00:49 PM | I want to take this from the back of your OP. When you stated let nature take its course when you meant to keep taking it slow, you have nature misconfigured dear. If nature takes its course men and women would hump each other in the street at random, so nothing about dating is natural at least until a later time behind closed doors.
About your thinking perhaps speedy is the right way..probably not. Don't speed push him, that makes people fall. And for whether or not he will find someone else who moves faster to get him and makes you think you will lose him, well dear, then you wouldn't want him if that happened because that means he is fickle or would be.
I doubt you will understand anything i have typed here because you think on a different wave length due to being younger, which is not bad. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:02:55 PM | Aiyee, yi-yi.
You didn't mention how much older, but there are tons of reasons and older man may hold back from dating a younger woman ... and, man, am I ever sick of the "he's a man, he'll chase anything that moves," mentality. That's just sheer horsehit. There's so much evidence to the contrary and so many personalized generalizations on the score ...
No, I wouldn't recommend you plant a kiss on this guy and try to grab his tonsils with your tongue. What human being reacts well when someone ele's passion is unexpected?
Talk to the guy. Tell him what's up. Doesn't seem like you could lose trying that, anyway, in my upscrewed opinion. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:37:31 PM |
Should I speed things up a bit or just let nature take its course?
Nature taking it's course would be you pursuing your desires. Including communicating your ideas to him. Not trying to figure out what's going on in his head and what he means by his actions from the opinions of strangers that never met him.
So are you really asking permission to manipulate him, or sit back and allow him to take responsibility for defining the relationship?
Why not focus on what you want, and what you mean by what you do. And if he's not picking up on it then try something else, that is in accordance with you, to get him to understand.
And then ask him to clarify things you don't understand. Let him choose how best to communicate him to you by offering feedback. | |
|
| |
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 4:07:45 PM | Shag him..... then take it slow.....
If he is going to, he'll probably take you more seriously after that then and you get to know the real him. | |
|
OKRob
|
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 15 | |
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 4:17:29 PM |
Shag him..... then take it slow.....
If he is going to, he'll probably take you more seriously after that then and you get to know the real him.
Might be the worst advice on this forum. Sorry Monkee.
The posts here wondering why a guy wasn't interested anymore following sex are numerous. Sleeping with him is just as likely to result in him loosing interest as gaining more interest.
He might be interest though, maybe he's still getting his head around the age thing. I should think it's a very good ego boost. He is probably still processing all the info... The lucky ba*****  | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:24:45 PM | | Hey, I'm a girl, and this girl's logic escapes me, too. Kinda makes you scratch your head and go "hmm". I mean...you have to be clear about what you want, and let him know. He'll make his decision from there, and then you can move forward with him, if he's interested, or without him, if he's not. Either way, you'll know. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:44:29 PM |
Is that an unconscious sign that he isn't really interested in me? What if another women intervenes who moves faster? Is he just settling for less than what he wanted? Give me some advise, guys! Should I speed things up a bit or just let nature take its course?
If it was me in the situation I would want the woman to tell me where her head was at...nothing is worse than someone not sharing what they are feeling as them sitting there perplexed and uncomfortable usually gives off some pretty bad body language.
Take a risk, what have you got to lose? You will know where you stand one way or the other and then you can decide where you go from there. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:52:16 PM | I love dating younger women. (wish you were in my area *nudge*), but also around my age and lower as well. It all depends how we react to each other; older guys are more in tune to care about how you feel so I would say communication is the best.
Don't forget guys can be dumb on subtle innuendos so get right on it and be permiscuous(sp?). | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:24:20 PM | | Oh speed things up a LITTLE bit now! Come on lol. If the relationship is mostly on a more friendly level and you're so concerned about taking it slow, he may very well be confused about what you want. How long has this been going on?? I hope not long, otherwise he may have dismissed you at this point thinking that you're not worth taking seriously. Me, I'm honestly not that into have close friendly relationships with many women. If I'm looking to date or potentially find a girlfriend or whatever, and some girl just seems like she wants to be friends, I'm honestly gonna say, "Okay she's cool, but she just wants to be friends and I'm looking for more, so I'm gonna keep my distance and keep looking around for what I actually want." Slow can be good, to a degree, but it can also be B-O-R-I-N-G. Don't be afraid, baby! Let him know how you feel and what you want. No matter how he feels and what he's thinking, I think this is the best approach. I'm not saying you should try to seduce him into bed the next time you see him, but DO SOMEthing or SAY SOMEthing for God's sake. Some guys aren't that aggressive. Maybe he's worried that if he tries to move too fast, you'll think he's an older man taking advantage of a younger woman. I don't know. Say something. Whatever the case is, JUST DO SOMETHING to let him know what's up. | |
|
| let nature take its course?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:56:22 PM | | Ok I just want to say, thank you to everyone! The advise is really raising my confidence levels. To answer some of your questions, he is 13 years older then me and this has been going on way too long! We don' get to see eachother much, he lives hours away. We have been building a friendship via email and phone for months and it wasn't until a few weeks ago, we got physical. I know now that it is my responsibility to pursue something physical. I can totally see how he might feel like he is taking advantage of me. I look younger than I am and he looks older then he is. You guys are great, even the constructive criticism! Thanks | |
|
Home
login 
