| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:13:27 PM | Why do straight women have such a difficult time accepting or understanding bi-sexual women? They love men that are gay, they all want one to be their best friend...They accept women that are gay and say it really isn't a big a deal...
But tell them that you're bi-sexual, and most are offended and even sometimes truly disgusted by it!
I just don't understand it...I am sexually attracted to both men and women but I can't even tell my best friend because I know that our friendship that I care so much about would end if I did :( | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:16:43 PM | Really?
I don't see that at all in my circle of friends.
But, I don't have close minded friends either. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:20:17 PM | What Ms Micki said...
I don't have that problem.. or double standard. I DO have a problem with the bar-sexuals tho. Doing something to get the attention of a man??? Something you might not be 100% into in the first place?? Pass. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:22:04 PM | | I live in the deep south and my gf loves to be with another woman- she gets nasty looks and remarks when we go out clubbin- she is aggressive- but I tell her men go through sooo much more rejection than a bi- woman. I think a lot of women are bi, but want THEIR man to join in- ( my girl always wants me to join in, It;s cool if it happens...if not no loss to me...) I have seen the discusted looked b4 lol- You can't change anyones opinion- keep looking- | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:28:45 PM | I do believe it does have something to do with the world I socialize and live in MsMicki... I'm a professional woman, I spend most of my work day around middle-aged women in business suits who compete on a level with men.
I've also socialized with those same women after work hours...
I guess you could say that "morality", "image" & "social standing" is a common goal among my peers.
Maybe it's time I find a new group of friends where I can be myself! | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:23:24 PM | Because most of the women in bars who 'claim' to be bi-sexual are just doing it to tell men that they are willing to hook up with a woman for a threesome and fulfill that male fantasy.
Truly bi-sexual women are secure usually in their sexuality and don't feel the need to broadcast their sexual preferences in the office, at least in my office. It is just not a concern of our business practices. However, when we socialize, it is just another thing. If someone's sexuality is not accepted by all of those in the office, then they should not casually socialize, such at clubs, with those people. Office parties, corporate events an such are different, and if you have to, a meeting should be held with everyone about learning to accept people of all persuasions, and how exclusion equals harrassment.
Beth | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:33:04 PM | sounds like your friend is a homophobe. some women are, just like some men are.
the thing i don't understand is people who think their sexual preferences must be accepted by the public. i really don't understand that.
whether you prefer sex with the same sex, or sex with a particular device, or sex in a particular location, these are personal preferences and they don't need to be public knowledge. there should be no expectation of public acceptance.
your friend doesn't have to know your sexual preferences to be your friend, does she? is your sexual preference what defines you as a person? i hope not. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 6:44:42 PM | i have alot of bi sexual and gay women as friends and i am straight. You are friends with that person for who they are, if your best friend can not accept you for who you are she is not your best friend at all, its more about her.
You are who you are, if she can not accept this, its her lose.
Find a new friend.. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:06:35 PM | Definetly not...but I live in a small town. I can't respond freely to a sweet girl that might make a pass at me in a public place , so and so will see it and tell so and so and so on...
And it's not a matter of the general public accepting my sexuality, it's the people I care about that count. I have teenagers that would be mortified if the parents of their peers regarded me as some kind of sex freak.
It's simple to say I shouldn't give a damn but it really isn't that easy... | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:30:38 PM |
Why do straight women...
But wait--now it's:
middle-aged women in business suits who compete on a level with men...in a small town
But I guess the generalization made it seem like a better excuse for starting a thread. *poof* That excuse is gone now.
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:10:18 PM | I'm a straight woman and I think women are hot - so I get why some women are bisexual or lesbian! Women are soft - curvy and very sexy! We are lucky to have been born desirable!  | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:10:40 PM |
the thing i don't understand is people who think their sexual preferences must be accepted by the public and
...these are personal preferences and they don't need to be public knowledge. there should be no expectation of public acceptance. Edited for brevity, kept in context.
See, there's a twofold problem with what you just said there. First, by people staying in the closet, the public assumes that they're straight. By default, that's just the way things are. Coming out is essentially setting the record straight on a set issue. Disproving the assumption. As soon as people stop assuming that everyone's straight until they suggest, prove or admit otherwise, then there'll be no more need for the process of coming out. Ignorance of a problem is not a solution. Saying something's not there, and saying that something doesn't exist is detrimental to the individual who doesn't fit into the societal mold. It makes the problem worse. "I don't fit, is there something wrong with me?" and such questions arise, and are none too healthy for a person's mental or physical health.
The root of the problem is that straight people are accepted without question for two reasons. One, it's the societal norm. And two, straights are the majority. There's the expectation of being accepted into straight society on those grounds alone, but what about everyone else? They don't meet the norm so they're justifiably expelled? Poppycock.
2.
There are differences between embracing, tolerating, accepting and ignoring. Each of those words can often be used interchangably, but not synonymously. Being accepting of someone doesn't mean that you embrace the persons sexuality, but indicates a net neutrality towards it instead, treating it more as "it's there, so what?"
You could have been trying to get across the idea more associated with embracing something, rather than accepting it as it is. Not accepting someone or something is refusing to admit what actually is. If a person is gay, then you have little reasonable choice but to accept it. To deny it would be simply absurd, seeing as you cannot affect a state over someone (despite some people's efforts to the contrary) and just live with it. Cut off contact, bring them closer as a friend, have nothing happen or what have you, but you can't decide for someone wether or not they're gay. It's like telling a person that they're wearing a green shirt when they're actually wearing a shock pink top. You can't change that state, so you MUST accept it.
The next step is to tolerate it. It is one thing to accept something as a fact, but to be alright with it is another entirely. You don't HAVE to tolerate anything, but why not? If you don't like it, then all you're doing is driving away perfectly fine people for no other reason than for the fact that they are different from you in some way or another. Once again, it's like saying "I don't like people with big feet." It becomes the determinant factor in whether you will or will not get along with someone. To tolerate it doesn't mean that 'Oh, I wish I had big feet too' It means that it doesn't matter in any relationship you have with that person in any capacity. Tolerance is all about making the issue a nonissue.
Where you go from there is up to you. But to ask that society say "it doesn't matter if someone's queer" is FAR different than to say that society must embrace the gay lifestyle and everything associated with it. In fact, not all gay people stick to the traditional lifestyle that we've come to be associated with. Thats why I started a thread on gay stereotypes, to see how true a lot of them are, and to see how accurately people's ideas reflect reality. I hate to plug my own thread here, but it's relevance is immesurable. Tolerance doesn't affect 90% of the populace, and makes a world of difference to the other 10% who constantly feel that they're under threat for being who they are. It's benefits are not limited to the arena of sexuality. Ethinic divides, mental states, and various other situations already draw on it. And what ill effect has come from it?
Gay people do not want to be embraced by the straight community. We want to be accepted. If people say that there's a hidden agenda in place, then that's it. Out there for all to see. If people want to go around twisting words, go right on ahead. You're not going to find a happy response from your audience when you lie, and you're not going to be well liked by those you misrepresented either. Where does the perpetrator win?
Does sexuality define who I am? Yes, to an extent. But it's not the be all and end all drive behind everything I do. Same with straight people, when you actually look at it. Tolerance leads to the removal of mindless violence towards people for who they are. And I don't think that's an out of line request at all. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:39:41 PM | I don't have anything against bi-sexual people, nor do I have anything against homosexuals.
There are certain things that I don't agree with, but in general I don't have anything against any of these people. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/30/2009 6:47:55 PM | I think perceptions of bisexuality depend on whether it is genuine or not.
Female bisexuality has been tarnished by the proliferation of these fake bi women who clearly use their sexuality as a marketing ploy or as a means of recruting women for threesomes with their boyfriends.
I can understand the anger of genuine bi women whose image is being tarnished by these fake, enabling bi women. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/30/2009 7:27:55 PM | | Why do you care what other people think? More to the point, why do you care what people think who you don't even know? Who cares! If you're comfortable with it and it makes you happy then go for it. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 6/30/2009 7:32:17 PM | | Well OP, I think your experiences with straight women being negtive toward bisexual women has a lot more to do with the straight women you know than straight women,in general. Try replacing your current women friends with women who are more tolerant and less judgmental of others. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:19:21 AM | | I've told my close friends that I'm bisexual, and about half of them have completly cut off contact with me. They're afraid that I'll hit on them! I have made it clear that I'm not attracted to them, and that I'm just letting them know in case they're wondering why I'm staring at the brunette walking down the aisle lol. I don't know why some people can't handle it...but since they all think I'm attracted to them, maybe it's an ego issue? Or more likely a closeminded issue? I'm not really sure. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:27:37 AM |
I DO have a problem with the bar-sexuals tho. Doing something to get the attention of a man???
Agreed. So many of these 'bi-sexual' women, seem to only be bi when the settings convenient. It gets old really fast, and when I see this happening I find it trashy. Also, if you're bi, that's fine. But if you're using that as an excuse to have two people intimately in your life, you're just as sleazy then if it were two men. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:11:42 AM | | i can tell you from my own personal point of view bi women do not turn me off. i am kinda an out of the box thinker on realtionships. and so a lot of my realtionships have been unconventional. i love bi women. I think its beautiful to watch two women together because of the way they enjoy it. would i have sex with another guy no. thats not my cup of tea. but if i was dating a woman and she was bi have all the fun you want just tell me about it and once in a while let me watch. but then i like swinger realtionships also. my thing is the female body is very beautiful. women in general are very beautiful. they bring a sensitive emotional side to sex. and therefore i dont have a problem with bi women. and really honestly maybe i could learn something from them on how to please a woman. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:19:32 AM | @austgirl:
you hit the nail on the head. a friend is a friend no matter your race color creed sexual prefernce or political view. They like you for who you are. there is an old saying that says a friend is someone who knows you and likes you anyways. and yes i agree unless you are in the adult entertainment industry that in the work world its not somthing that you advertsie and tell. but outside the office is a great thing sometimes.
the problem is we sterotype people.
now me personally its not bout the fantasy of two women toghether or the threesome. I want my girl to be pleased and whatever it takes. if she needs or wants a woman once in a while thats fine as long as she is open with me about it and tells me she is going to be with a woman before hand. i dont consdier it cheating if i know about it. but for me its about pleasing my girl. she and her pleasure is more important then mine. I am the type if she dosent have the big o before me or with me i feel i have let her down and get mad at myself. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:21:07 AM | | I don't seem to see this in my friends. If I found out that one of my good girl friends was bi, I'd be surprised, but certainly supportive. I'm sorry if your friend can't accept the true you. | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:28:03 AM |
I can't even tell my best friend because I know that our friendship that I care so much about would end if I did :(
wow...some "friend" you have there | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:37:15 AM | | who is anyone to judge someone elses sexual preferences each to there own i say | |
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| Bi-Sexuality / Women
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:51:17 PM | | I hate when women do it to be liked by others. That is a huge turnoff. Most of the time you can tell if they are genuine about their preferences or whether they are just dying for attention and popularity. | |
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