| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:38:07 PM | Does My Profile Say "Look but don't TOUCH" ?
I'm pretty new, but have gotten a lot of views.
I mean A LOT. Which is cool.
But very few people who took the time to look, have actually contacted me thus far.
Is that pretty much the norm?
Maybe people just like window shopping? haha
PS I really don't like to be the FIRST to make contact since my ad is agressive enough already! Besides, I've learned to generally defer to the women's instincts in these matters. | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:08:08 PM | Your MAIN picture is of you holding a woman... Um... NOT the best choice for a dating profile, wouldn't you agree? I'd nix THAT one entirely; you do explain she's "your friend"... yeah, right, sure, most of the women here have heard that old line many times (true or not).
Your profile is all of 6 sentences long.... And you begin with you're too busy to date (read: "time is at a premium") THREE of your sentences repeat the "respect" angle... You really don't say very much at all.
You tell women to "look at your photos" and the pics will tell them a lot about who you are.
#1 says you're dancing with another woman.
#2 says you cropped #1 and blew it up so it's fuzzy.
#3 says it's old (and a bad picture at that)
What EXACTLY were you hoping these pictures would say about you because I don't see anything positive.
Your 'ad' is NOT aggressive; I'm not even sure what you mean by that.
As it currently sits, I think your profiles says "Look and move on".
Maybe you'll actually have to say hello to a few women here and strike up a conversation just like in real life.
Even with all of this, I think there's hope. Add a second paragraph saying what you would like in a woman. Make what you have more appealing to someone reading it for the first time... remember, they know NOTHING of you other than what you wrote.
Good Fishing,
James, Seattle | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/30/2009 5:56:10 AM | You really need to read the profile writing tips. Your profile says almost nothing about you. As the poster above points out, the photos don’t help you.
There are a lot more men than ladies on these dating sites and many get lots of email. If you plan to wait for the ladies to make contact, you will be without a date for a long time.
Create a real profile and then start sending notes. Even with a good profile the average response rate is said to be only 10 to 20%. You need to put in some effort if you want a date.
All the best
Ron | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/30/2009 6:29:44 AM | I disagree about the impact of the primary photo. It's fine and jibes with your line about respecting woman. I social dance myself and anyone who does will recognize and accept that dancing with lots of partners is the norm.
I'd start by ditching that "Prefer Not to Say" about children. Then delete the negative lines about walling off. And not having lots of free time even if it is true. And then flesh it out with a couple more paragraphs about you. Trying to let the pictures do the talking comes off as lazy. Also you sound like you defer too much and are too passive. Some women might like that, but most I suspect would prefer more. Your current profile is far from aggressive. | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/30/2009 6:44:41 AM | | His profile pictures make me as a woman suspicious. He takes the same photo and re-crops it and labels it 'brand new.' Perhaps it is, but doesn't feel right. The profile itself is on the ambiguous side. If he wants women to beat down his cyber-door, he needs to put a little more effort into it. I wouldn't even respond to an email from this guy. | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:52:51 AM | [QUOTE]
 Your MAIN picture is Um... NOT the best choice for a dating profile!
I'd nix THAT one entirely;
The photos don’t help you!
#1 says you're dancing with another woman.
She's "your friend"... yeah, right, sure, most of the women here have heard that old line many times!
#2 says you cropped #1 and blew it up so it's fuzzy.
#3 says it's old (and a bad picture at that)
What EXACTLY were you hoping these pictures would say about you because I don't see ANYTHING positive!!!
Your profile is all of 6 sentences long!!
Create a real profile!!
And you begin with you're too busy to date !
DELETE the negative lines about walling off!
THREE of your sentences repeat the "respect" angle...
You really don't say very much at all!!
Your 'ad' is NOT aggressive; I'm not even sure what you mean by that!!!
Comes off as lazy!!
You sound like you are too passive!
You need to put in some effort if you want a date!
You will be without a date for a long time!!!
Make me as a woman suspicious!
Doesn't feel right.
Your profiles says "Look and move on"!!!
I wouldn't even respond to an email from this guy!!!!![/QUOTE]
[B]Errr...Thanks!....[I]I think![/I][/B]
haha | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/30/2009 2:45:14 PM | Where you hoping everyone would give you gold stars on your profile, Chilled?
Why look at all of these comments as NEGATIVE? Instead see them in the light they were given -- to help you make a better profile.
"a lot, I mean A LOT" of women looking at your profile doesn't mean much around the big fish pond; what matters is the select few who want to know more... it's obvious your profile doesn't leave women wanting to know more. You said so yourself.
Fix parts of your profile and ask us to look at the new-and-improved version.
James, Seattle | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:39:08 PM | I see you ADDED:
***Welcome!*** I'm a fun, open and interesting guy. Got a question for you --> Are you too shy to approach a guy? Is he the one that has to jump through all the hoops? If that's you...it'll be tough for us to click.
This doesn't address *ANY* of the issues reviewers have mentioned in this thread.
Saying "I'm interesting" does not make your profile any better or more interesting... actually, I can find "I'm interesting" on most of the boring profiles on POF.
Don't tell them you're interesting, WRITE SOMETHING INTERESTING.
As for the rest of the new part... You're basically saying, "contact me, because I'm not going to contact you." What in the hell is that about???? Why not contact them?
James, Seattle, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:57:23 PM | From another female perspective:
Prefer not to Say for Do you want Kids translates to: I will hate your kids. If you're concerned about single moms, you can change this to Undecided/Open and let the situation decide.
For your Interests field, add: Cappucino, Rumba, Symphony
The profile body itself is visually interesting but the tone is a bit off for me. May I?
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***Welcome!*** I'm a fun, open and interesting guy. Got a question for you --> Are you too shy to approach a guy? Is he the one that has to jump through all the hoops? If that's you...it'll be tough for us to click. A unique opening, yes, but it feels like you're saying I'm the one that will have to be doing all the hoop-jumping! My own profile headline is "or at least meet me halfway"... compromise?
As for me... I like the Rumba (the closeness), the Symphony (the lushness) & Cappuccino (the caffeine!) very visual ideas and great explanations.
I'm a very involved owner of my own coding (programming) company. It's both FASCINATING and demanding. If you own your own business (or know someone that does ) I don't have to tell you that time is at a premium. But we always find a way to squeeze in what we want. "squeeze" is probably not the best choice of words. I'd think that owning your own business would afford you the luxury of being able to say, "Boss, I'm taking the night off!" Can you reword to say that yes, you're busy, but will always find time to spend with someone special? It's that damned compromise thing again....
Looking at my photos will tell you a lot about the type of guy I am - one who respects your instincts. RESPECT really is the operative word here because I've learned that's the only way relationships will flourish over time. What do you layer over that foundation once it's established? Well...that's the fun part! An interesting concept, but I can't tell that from photos. You just seem like a regular guy. (no offense!)
Why not add a line or two about who you are hoping to meet here? Using positive language only, what is she like? You may also want to break up the big block of words so that it's easier on the eyes, like I've done here. Feel free to use/ignore any or all as you see fit. Good luck! | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:30:54 AM | ***Saying "I'm interesting" does not make your profile any better!
*** What in the HELL is that about????
***"I'm interesting" (is) on most of the boring profiles on POF!!!
***It's OBVIOUS your profile doesn't leave women wanting to know more.
*** I get the feeling that (your) profile is a prank! Am I right??
*** "A LOT" of women looking at your profile doesn't mean much around the big fish pond!
***And just because people [I]view[/I] your profile doesn't mean (anything!) I've looked at loads profiles...out of disgust!
***He thinks he gets more views than anyone else because he must be SOOOOOO AMAZING!!
***He (probably) has had more women view his profile than have ever taken a second glance in [B]REAL-LIFE!!![/B]
*** (YOUR PROFILE) IS SH!T!!!!
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More Great...er...Tips!
Thanks Loads, fellas...
lol | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:10:27 AM | Your replies to those giving you feedback HERE say a lot more about who you really are than your profile does.
And nearly every post has been LONGER and more insightful than your entire profile; I believe those trying to help you have put more time into your profile than you have.
Add *THAT* to your 'list'.
YOU ADDED:
CAVEAT: If you have a laundry list of 'hoops' one must jump through, I doubt we'll click
Someone above suggesting your profile may be a prank... I beginning to think they were right and you're just wasting our time.
After reading your profile and your replies to the reviews that YOU ASKED FOR. I think all those women NOT contacting you have the right idea... sorry. I'm out of here.
Good luck,
James | |
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Pratch
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Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 13 | |
| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:23:08 AM | You want some more honesty?
You don't take critique (even constructive) well.
Get over it or continue to wonder why you get "so many views" but few replies...
It might not hurt to grow the balls to make first contact now and again either. I'm pretty picky about doing so, but I do make the effort if I see someone I'd like to know better when something catches my eye...
These are tips. Take them or leave them, just remember, Mr Many Views, you're on here, and you posted here looking for feedback. Why bother doing so if you're just going to ignore them?
/programming is programming, coding is the jargon, you own a programming (coding) company | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:53:42 AM | Mr. Filled - I can see that you actually incorporated a few changes. I would like to think these were due to my suggestions! lol!
For me as a potential viewer, I`d still like to see you add the extra words (Cappucino, Rumba, Symphony) to your Interests field and change the `Prefer not to Say` answer for kids to Undecided|Open. Women respond to these fields emotionally and it will be a benefit for you. Also - if you add those words in your Interests field, you can click on them to find other users with the same words in their Interest field. This would be especially helpful for you with the Dance words. Try it!
As already suggested, most women here will expect to be contacted first, much like a regular social outing. Some people are still old-fashioned that way. If you are concerned about what to write for an introductory email, please feel free to use my profile as a sample and send me a practice email. No, I`m not hitting on you, just another way to practice. No charge! This is how I dance:  | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:27:51 AM | Thanks Loads, fellas...
Actually don't change a thing. It's better for folks to know sooner rather than later that you are in fact as lazy as your profile suggests. They'll want to know that they will have to do all the heavy lifting and effort that a relationship requires all by themselves. Because you're so busy, of course. And you respect them.
You're doomed unless you undergo a major attitude adjustment. But even admitting you need one will take a while, I think. Good luck. | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:39:46 AM | Miss You Go First,
Yes, I did very much appreciate your helpful suggestions. I incorporated the white space idea right away. I actually went back & forth on that a little bit since the ads I've seen that were all one block of text were a little easier and quicker to scan so long as they contained a relatively brief amt of information as is the case in my profile.
So, I'm supremely grateful for your contribution...but reserve the right to CHANGE IT BACK!
haha
I also took your suggestion on the 'Do you want Children' pull down menu.
I also should point out that my profile CONTINUES to pull at an ASTOUNDING rate - well over FIFTY BRAND NEW WOMEN visit me every single day since I first posted in the forum.
Here's how it breaks down statistically:
5% - Women in their 50's
28% - Women in their 40's
34% - Women in their 30's
33% Women in their 20's <----That figure kind of surprised me, but I'm delighted as I'm young at heart & LOVE that age group. Some of them were real beauties, too.
The other surprise was how many girls from outside my general region were interested in my ad. Fully 22% of the girls were either in other states or more than 75 miles away. I actually have no problem meeting girls in 'real life', but saw the online thing as a way to extend my reach to girls I normally would never meet. And this site has really been helpful in fulfilling that dream. Well that and allowing me to have more fun while slaving in front of a hot computer 12 hours/day!
My inbox is also starting to get filled which is another good sign, albeit not nearly at the rate I'd like to see, so I'm still tweaking things.
You had written about my pix - "You just seem like a regular guy. (no offense!)"
NO offense taken whatsoever. I AM a regular guy. haha
But the feedback I've been getting on my pics from the few girls who have taken the time to write has been along the lines of 'hi handsome', 'your cute!!!' and 'cuteness!!!!!' You know how chicks are. lol
So, I think my gut feeling was right when I encouraged them to take a good look at the photos. I've read that girls decide VERY quickly about the suitability of a prospective partner anyway, so why fight the flow?
Interesting that you would suggest crafting a "practice email", as that's exactly what I'm working on right now!
I'm actually developing 3 discrete customizable prototypes.
1) For the girls that respond to the ad whom I find interesting and want to pursue
2) For the girls that respond to the ad that I'm not sure about
3) Girls that visited my profile & did not respond. Kind of a 'Thanks for Visiting' message
So you and I are definitely on the right wavelength in approaching this thing!
I'm reminded of how many MILLIONS of people use this site. And I JUST got started a week or two ago. It' s really exciting to feel what's about to happen!
My [u]3 Step Gameplan[/u] from the beginning was as follows:
STEP 1 Start by drawing in a LARGE VOLUME of curious visitors
STEP 2 protected info
STEP 3 protected info
Step 1 has been a SMASHING success - beyond my highest expectations.
Now, per your suggestion, I'm working on Step 2...then finally the crucial Step 3.
As for your comment that 'You're not hitting on me', all I can say is...
SURRRRREEE.
LOL!
I can tell when a woman finds me intriguing! haha
Who knew I'd even attract them right here in the forum?? lol
Hey...Wait a second! That gives me ANOTHER great idea.........
Take care...and thanks a million!
Chill | |
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Pratch
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Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 17 | |
| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:50:10 AM | Everyone knows the proper order is:
Step one: anything
Step two: ???
Step three: PROFIT!
Why do I get the feeling that his chances are suddenly going to recede faster than his hairline?
87% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
No, really!
My teeth are whiter, I gained 2 inches, and the women are just lining up! I'm going to treat this as if it's a business, and will use strategery to find my lucky future ex-wife!
I have a plan! It cannot possibly fail!!!
shoot me now, please? | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:57:23 AM | Oh, now, Pratch.... let's not disillusion him so soon.... With any luck both of you will be snatched up and away soon and life can get back to normal around here.  | |
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Pratch
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Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 19 | |
| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:00:21 AM | Hey now, if I get snatched up, I'm sooo trolling the forums still, so get used to having me around :)
I can enjoy his enthusiasm while being completely non-supportive of his attitude, right? | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:46:58 AM | Hey Pratch I thought the percentage was much higher “87% of all statistics are made up on the spot” somewhere I saw 95%. Oh well, what do I know? As a matter of interest what does anyone else know?
Ron | |
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Pratch
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Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 21 | |
| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:54:39 AM | We know only what we can see, smell, hold, taste, and touch - and we're only half right about that.
Think Chilled will mind that we're being all existential in his thread? | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:05:22 PM | This is not intended to be mean.
The reason you have so many viewers compared to messages is that you appear in a thumbnail to be a good looking young dude with nice arms. When someone clicks on it they see you are 44 and look the part.
As far as your profile, I thought it was ok, but was a little sparse and jumbled. Not as interesting as I think it could be given your education, occupation, and interests. Your an educated, athletic guy who likes to dance - you can do better. | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:13:36 PM | | Why are you guys still reading/responding to this thread? Oh yeah, cause it's hysterical. NOW I remember. I'm with ^^^ up there that said he should leave it alone so women know from the get go they will be doing the heavy lifting in the relationship. Good plan. | |
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Pratch
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Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 24 | |
| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:27:24 PM | Ain't nothin wrong with a little comedy gold. We can keep this going as the gold standard of what NOT to do :D
There's even a chance he might come around and then this can be the defacto example of how to evolve?
Nah. | |
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| Does My Profile Say... 'LOOK but Don't Touch'??
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:41:20 PM | I do not think Chilled will mind that we're being all existential in his thread, it does not seem to be serious anyway.
“We know only what we can see, smell, hold, taste, and touch - and we're only half right about that”
If you read Descartes, even those are a big question. | |
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