| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:36:14 AM | | It seems a lot of people who contact me, really don't have anything in common. I wonder if they even read my profile, or at least look at my interests. Some of the messages I get simply say "hey cutie, whats up." I mean, I know a lot of people, at least I am, are looking for people they have stuff in common with and actually want to talk about their similar interests. Does anyone get a little annoyed when your contacted by someone with little or no similarities to you? | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:40:51 AM | Yes....I'd say about 90% of the guys that contact me either aren't what I am looking for, don't get what I am looking for or I don't have much in common with.
Most will automatically assume they are for you though if you are their type. No matter how much you write in the profile to spell it out, they'll still write. What can ya do. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:41:53 AM | | Hey cutie, whats up. You must be hot stuff. At least you're getting messages. I read all the threads by people complaining that nobody contacts them. Seriously, just weed them out, sooner or later you'll be in touch with someone who's intelligent and interesting. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:48:04 AM | I think I look for some core things in common and everything else is open to exploration.
I am not looking for a carbon copy of myself.
I think it is more important to have principles and activity level in common as opposed to a bunch of hobbies.
Do you really think a few lines in a profile can completely describe everyone?
How about being open to other people and new things?
Maybe take some time to get to know someone you think is attractive and they might surspise you with a million interests they didn't list in a profile or the fact they might be open to exploring and learning new things.
Next time some you think it attractive, who doesn't seem like a crazy nut bag, asks what's up? Tell them what's up :) Live a little, take a chance. | |
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OKRob
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Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 5 | |
| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:49:27 AM | | As a bloke I can confirm that messages saying hi cutie or similar just do not happen. In fact, it is extremely rare for a women to make the first contact. I have female friends here and they say that every time they login there might be up to 50 messages waiting for them. Not one of them even has to make first contact. Since WomanInProgress pointed out that the behaviour you suggest always happens when it's men messaging women... I would have to suggest that this thread is an attempt t reverse psychology, sorry :) | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:56:40 AM | Usually the "hey there hot stuff" comes from guys under 30's (for me anyways). The guys in my demographics are usually sincere and we actually do have 1 or 2 things in common. The last one said he liked my napping interest!  I think he was reaching for some commonality there!
So my answer is no. I usually have people contacting me with at least 1 interest in common. I don't really care anymore though. I've met someone....  | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:01:54 AM | | Or better yet, short crazy messages could be the infamous Nigerian Scammers. Shorter is better when you aren't fluent in the language. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:14:13 AM | | unless it's a rude or creepy message, i don't get annoyed. i appreciate it when someone says hi as long as they're nice and polite about it. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:15:36 AM |
Does anyone get a little annoyed when your contacted by someone with little or no similarities to you?
Absolutely and it happens 9/10 times. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:29:52 AM | Welcome to my inbox. 
I bet a lot of guys hate you about now that you are even getting initial emails. LOL Little violins are playing for you.
OP if you're not compatible or attracted to the person, either read/delete, or say "thanks, but we aren't a match". | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:31:07 AM | Wow a guy complaining about getting emails. Now that is a change.
You should feel lucky...most guys can't even get a reply.
But I know what you mean...I've been asked out by guys in other cities...because they didn't read mty profile. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:21:08 AM | You know the old saying that opposites attract. Perhaps the girls messaging you see things in you that they would like in their life, even if it isn't one of their interests.
You don't list in your profile what you are looking for. Maybe by saying that you are looking for someone with several interests in common you may weed out some of the girls your not interested in.
Be sure to take note of what most of the others have said in regards to complaining about being contacted. Sounds like your lucky to be getting messages even if they don't have alot of obvious similar interests. Chat a bit, one of them may be the "one", don't limit yourself in your fishing! Have fun! | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:26:40 AM | Nine times out of ten, some people don't even read the profile. They just look at the pictures and hit you up. I get hit by women on this site and I say a few actually read my profile and the rest just looked at my pics.
When I hit a woman up, I at least make it a point to read the profile and memorize it. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:22:27 PM | Nope, it doesn't annoy me. What annoys me are people that get annoyed. If you put yourself out here you are open to having anybody and everybody contact you. Expect that a percentage wil be people that do not have alot in common with you . I've had over 13,000 initial contacts since Sept., most of them were just" Hey, How are you" ,cutie type messages. That is an introduction. It is just a way to be noticed, because they liked your picture or something that you wrote on your page. If you have mutual attraction then LOOK for common interests. The most common interest here is finding someone to be intimate with, let's face it. No one is here looking to play Bingo with you. These ladies are simply attracted to you so they contact you. If your compatable you find that out based on attraction, unless your different than everybody else in the universe. The intial attraction is about physical appearance and looks. Your right, they don't know much about you... they are just expressing interest. Get over yourself.
Good God. A whine bag that gets messages. Is it Bizarro World here today? | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:28:22 PM | Sure, it happens. I don't get annoyed when I get those types of messages...it gets enervating though, to read a message when it's very obvious that my profile wasn't even given a glance. It comes with the territory of being here on POF.
To answer your photo caption: It looks like {similar} to one of Antonio Gaudi's mosaics....but that might be a reach. Hard to tell cause you're in front of it.
Best of luck to you. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:34:07 PM | I have to say I get more frustrated with people who don't take the time to read the profile...I especially dislike the people who send me emails asking the most generic questions as possible...like how are you? Ummmm...I am fine (it is obvious to me if I wasn't fine...I wouldn't be online or answering any emails) and you have 10 seconds to say something worth responding to before the guy that does gets all my attention.
I have created a well though out and descriptive profile intended to provoke a thought process and stimulate conversation...though I do appreciate similarities I am not looking for a mirror image. BUT I am definitely looking for someone who can a) have a decent (and quite possibly if I am VERY lucky intellectually stimulating conversation) AND b) is willing to take the time to READ what my profile says instead of just running with the picture. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:49:49 PM | Yes OP..happens a lot.
Most of the 'hi, you're hot' or cruder messages come from guys over 50 and in general we have no interests in common at all.
But then I'm not looking to date someone 10 years or over 10 years older than me so I dont worry about it.
I'm fine with not all interests being the same but hey some just dont read profiles..that's the way the net is. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 6:14:18 PM | | if they dont happen, how come I get them? Your suggestion is actually wrong, because it happens to me more often then not. For me its been almost an equal experience of making first contact, sometimes I make it, sometimes they make it. I guess everyone's experiences with dating sites differ. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 6/30/2009 6:23:14 PM | | Nope never happens, everyone is delusional. Welcome to the terror-dome(POF). I mean if this is a real problem for you maybe you should revise your profile. Spread the love and refer them to all the guys who complain about never getting an email. | |
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