| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 6/30/2009 10:30:21 PM | | Women always say that a sense of humor is the most important thing they are looking for in a potential mate (or at least date) but, as a professional funny person, I have not found this to be the case. More than once women I've been interested in have preferred the company of serious-minded gentlemen over my jocular sensibility. So, my question is how important is it REALLY? And what do you mean by sense of humor? Laughing at your jokes? The ability to say witty things, make witty observations? Or is it seeing the humor in the tragedy that is life? I know that I want a woman with a sense of humor, but that's not the most important quality (as long as she laughs at my jokes). What say you? | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:00:35 PM | A sense of humour is waaay important to me,but have you noticed that EVERYONE thinks they're funny ??
I dont mean a man who tells jokes....in fact,that puts me off them.
I love someone with a witty sense of humour,rather than someone who does a "stand-up comedy" routine.
And,along with intelligence and honesty,a sense of humour is a must-have for me ! | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:11:27 PM | um, yes. it's like a cow used to be in the 1800s.
or maybe more like knowing how to use a cow in the 1800s.
replace "cow" with "insane pace of modern life" and "how to use" with "frighteningly quick pattern recognition and ability to lighten with notional, engaging, relevant, responsive-to-the-situation communication."
a lot of people might not like my jokes either, OP. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:17:14 PM | You can be serious minded with a sense of humor.
I enjoy being around people who have a quick wit. Dialogue can be so much fun when it's combined with humor and intelligence.
Definitely important to me. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:19:35 PM | A sense of humour is very important to me...I love quick wit.
He doesn't have to be telling jokes...he just appreciates quality humour and can deliver it, too.
If he makes me smile and keeps my attention on him, that is a huge plus. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:39:00 PM | Funny, my sweetie and I were just speaking of this tonight. I have a finger in multiple camps, so to speak, in that I have a serious side that is given to pondering, a twisted side that finds humour in everything (including my own quirks) and an insatiable curiosity about people and how life works. The humour I appreciate is primarily observational, satire and irony; the world is a funny, funny place. I find situations funny and am much more into banter and playing with words and ideas than "telling a joke".
I've dated serious-minded men, who eventually didn't appreciate my quirky sense of humour. I've dated funny guys who found my habit of "thinking too much" annoying and, frankly, a bit of a wet blanket and I've dated loads from each camp who weren't terribly curious about anything much beyond their immediate purview.
There are qualities that are more important to me (awareness, kindness, great conversationalist for example) but compatibility in humour is VERY important. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 6/30/2009 11:57:15 PM | strawbs09 – Msg 2
A sense of humour is waaay important to me,but have you noticed that EVERYONE thinks they're funny ??
Margo – Msg 8
There are qualities that are more important to me (awareness, kindness, great conversationalist for example) but compatibility in humour is VERY important.
This is a good thread, and since most people have a different sense of humour, I agree very much on the importance of humour compatibility.
Marcus, here is an idea - instead of rating pictures, how about a feature to rate the humour?
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:04:34 AM | If I had a penny for everyone that said they had a 'cents of humor' and didn't, well, I wouldn't be pennyless!
Corney, I know.
Like Margo, it depends on the compatability of the "sense of humor."
Personally, I don't care much for a predominately sarcastic "sense of humor." Always seems like too much negativity for my taste.
Another would luv it.
But, in general, a "sense of humor" helps gets one through life without weakening too much. Life's hard enough without being able to find a little humor in the mundane and tragic.
just my thoughts | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:30:56 AM | Of course it depends on whether you share a sense of humour. And it definitely depends on how you view the world.
Humour can also culturally-based and can even be gender or age-based.
Just look at here, OP! Some roll their eyes when I crack a funny or get angry and take it the wrong way. Others - well, I'm a thigh-slapper..
Well, I always slap my own thigh in appreciate laughter when I make a joke..(ok, that was lame) . | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:51:03 AM | my nyc humor is, as a rule, NOT appreciated here in CA. my guy is pretty serious as well, but he's also kind and patient. i do need to laugh. so, i found a few friends who "get me" and vice versa. some are on pof. we laugh our asses off. i think humor needs to be more than a front. in many ways, it's culturally biased as well. so, with opposites attract, sometimes it's just not the key ingredient.
friendly spirit, now from our private emails, you are one of my very funny people! perhaps also a nyc jewish girl in your past life?
ps although not funny to me and vice versa, my guy is committed to understanding my humor and he does have a dry wit, that sneaks up behind me. very WASP. he says he never met anyone like me. wonder if he needs condolences for what's ahead of him? | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:10:46 AM | I tell you what, serenity, you'd need a sense of humour after reading my last post.
Sorry for the appalling spelling everyone; I wrote this after a long day looking at a computer screen. And just for fun, I go home and look a computer screen!
Oh, I'm such a jokster...
Anyway, you're the hilarious one in our private emails, serenity.. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:07:59 AM | | Sense of humor compatability... interesting. But compatability isn't my problem. I would like to ask the OP if you sometimes feel like your entertaining someone instead of dating them. I have an odd sense of humor that for some strange reason men seem to like. (no accounting for taste) But to find someone who can dish it right back is rare. Good looks are nice but if he can't keep me smiling and show me he's clever I'm not interested. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:10:02 AM | For a relationship your sense of humor isn't going to jive with everyone you meet. The timing has to work between two people. Some guys like a women with a great sense of humor too, others do better with the "straight woman".
So yes I think it's exceptionally important but that does not mean that a comedian gets ALL the girls...... | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:57:59 AM | | Sometimes I get the feeling that when they say sense of humor, they don't mean that you make them laugh, but that you yourself laugh. Everyone is drawn to people that seem to be enjoying life, and a person that laugh easily and honestly is a person that knows how to have a good time. Yea if a sense of humor was so important all comedians would have women all over them, and that just doesn't happen. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:22:49 AM | | A sense of humor is a must! I like someone who can make me laugh in a serious way. I'm really not into corny, although I, myself , say corny things all the time. (just ask my kids)...Quick wit in a serious way is my favorite. Slipping in a funny statement that takes a moment to process and then is totally hilarious is my favorit person. As far as comedians and women go...I feel it would be the type of comedian you are. I mean how can you resist Jeff Dunham and Walter! Now Walter is seriously funny! :)))) | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:35:27 AM | One can be mute and have a well developed sense of humor (except for mimes: they are evil)
Jokers get tiresome. Mostly because it's not their sense of humor being displayed but a defensive wall against serious engagement (or the belief that nothing warrants serious engagement-A level of cynicism incompatible with mine)
I think what we all look for is someone that feels outrage when we do, gently reveals the ironies we missed and helps us laugh through the tears. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 6:15:01 AM |
I think you just have to know when to turn the funny off, that's the key.
Precisely...and as this is in a forum for over 45's, it indicates the difference between what you found funny when you under 40 as opposed to how you react now.
I was the 'class clown' at school. and was given some advice by my English Master ( bless him!)..'You would do well to study Falstaff, my lad'..
It didn't mean much at the time, of course, but made sense later on, as I will try to explain
In the forces I could keep the billet in stitches by my antics; in my twenties I could reel of funny stories for hours, and was the life and soul of a party; in my late 30's I was invited to do stand up at a local club, and I was the one sent in to either warm up a dead crowd, or deal with a bunch of hecklers..in short..reasonably successful and quite popular as a result.
However.. in my 40's, that was when the advice hit home. The hale, well met fellow with the funny remarks, tall tales, and idiotic actions is no longer amusing to an older crowd, so my 'style' had to change or I would be dropped like a brick as being another Falstaff..a sad , left over from the past, a childish adult who is something of an embarrassment in company!
By observing the older, successful comedians Bob Hope, George Burns, George Carlin, and a host of British Comedians ,you begin to see that they quietly poke fun at everyday situations we are familiar with, are slightly sarcastic in a mild way, and tend to play on..and with words, rather than the more outlandish humour of the younger element
In short..you go from the physical to the intellectual, indicating the transition between youth and maturity..horrible thought for many I know..LOL!
It's the difference between a 17 yr being well oiled and standing with a lampshade on his head pretending to be a light stand, and having all his mates in stitches as a result , and some one of my age 71, doing the same thing for the same reason, and having everyone in the room pitying me for being totally senile, and considering having me committed for my own safety!
I understand the confusion of the original poster as to what constitutes a 'sense of humour' many the ladies have as a requirement in their profiles, and there is no easy answer as what might be funny to one would be a turn off to another
Basically I think it boils down to being able to laugh at oneself..events happening around you..and being able to laugh off traumatic events once they are over and done with without blowing one's trumpet over it.
But then again, I might be totally wrong as that's my 'style ' right now, and I am still single..and nary a compatible female fishy in sight!
Hmmmm?...Maybe my bait still has too much bite in it?
Poshrat | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 6:29:00 AM | .
Very important. It indicates and ability to love life and make the best of whatever comes. Usually associated with a generous spirit and willingness to be open minded.
The ability to say witty things, make witty observations? Or is it seeing the humor in the tragedy that is life? I know that I want a woman with a sense of humor, but that's not the most important quality (as long as she laughs at my jokes). What say you?
Definately important to be both serious minded and have a sense of humor. The two are not mutualy exclusive. Companionable silences are fine, but one's from having nothing to say can be boooooring.
You can be serious minded with a sense of humor.
I enjoy being around people who have a quick wit. Dialogue can be so much fun when it's combined with humor and intelligence.
 
. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 6:44:59 AM | | It's definately important but not the most important. One must be able to laugh at themselves and know when and if it is appropriate to laugh at or with their s/o as long as no one is losing an eye. Life is way to short to not have a sense of humour. Somewhere I heard that 'laughter is the best medicine'. | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:04:52 AM | Geez! I hope it's important! I love to make people laugh. I love to laugh as well. Sure I'm not funny 24/7 (gotta wait until after my first coffee) and I'm not a stand up comic. But at the age of 12 I decided part of my Life goals was to make every person I met laugh or smile. So far I've been quite successful.
So my Lady will have to have some humor to be able to put up with me.
Ladies, I ain't changin' it's part of the package.  | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:20:37 AM | I'm also guilty of adding "sense of humour" to my list of qualities I'd appreciate in someone I'd like to meet ...
DEFINING "sense of humour" is probably as easy as defining "sexy" ... or "attractive" ... because those qualities come in a humungous variety of packages ...
I was secretary forEVER (ok ... maybe only 5 years but it FELT like decades) to a man who THOT he was clever ... his favorite form of humour was ... puns. yes, puns. omg! he'd stop dictating to say, "did you get that? did you see the humour in my comment? did you notice the pun?" sigh.
NOT what I meant when I listed "sense of humour!"
I've been friends since 1991 with a man who occupies huge portions of any of our time together, relaying jokes ... "a priest, a rabbi and a frog walk into a bar ..." type of jokes ... they're ALWAYS gross, coarse, vulgar and ... ta da ... boring ... but I listen to these jokes cuz I sincerely like the man within the shell ... it's his coping mechanism for a childhood spent with abusive, addicted parents ... I get it ... it's ok ... I sincerely like HIM! I'll listen to his jokes.
also NOT what I meant when I listed "sense of humour!"
I like the Tommy Smothers sense of humour ... the subtle slipping in of a comment that mite fly over the head of some viewers ... the Jim Carey types don't interest me in the least ...
and ... one's sense of humour changes as one matures ...
my tween-aged granddaughter TO THIS DAY thinks anything relating to fecal material is HILAREOUS ... she and her Dad can spend quite a bit of time discussing his "going on duty" ... "will you be marching into duty?" ... etc. I thot she'd outgrow it when she turned 12 or so ... but ... no ... it's still "funny!"
"sense of humour" is a very personal quality ... I think seeing the intelligence in his eyes as he communicates something "outside the box" is the quality I'm looking for ... his interest in producing a giggle ... his knowledge of me and what will amuse me ... it's very personal and not to be expected initially in a prospective relationship ... THAT's sexy! | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:27:06 AM | The ability to:-
See around corners and find something amusing when the road ahead looks bleak
See the tragedy of not seeing the humour in life | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:52:33 AM | Having a good sense of humour is one of the most important qualities I look for in a person, I enjoy the company of a man who looks at the brighter side of life, they don't need to be a Jerry Seinfeld, just be positive and have the ability to laugh. Being around someone with no sense of humour is like sitting in a dental office....painful.
...maeflowers | |
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| How important is a sense of humor anyway?
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:59:23 AM | .
Looking for someone with a sense of humor, does not mean,
that it has to be Henny Youngman, or Phylis Diller.
It doesn't mean,
look for the tragedy in everything,
always look on the dark side,
suck the life out of happy occasions,
react like Chicken Little,
or anything else that spells doom at every corner.
It just means,
have the ability to laugh. | |
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