| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:40:43 PM | Hi,
I'm 21 and no man has ever shown any interest me in a romantic or sexual way. This probably sounds like an exageration but quite seriously the only relationship I've been in happened because my friends shoved this guy at me and pressured him into asking me out (he later admitted that he hadn't really been that interested and to be honest, neither had I).
Now I've been down the routes as to why a million times. I spent my teenage years hating everything about myself and my appearance, so I could understand why I wasn't miss popularity at 15.
But since then I've learned to be independant, confidant, comfortable with myself, and stable enough that if love doesn't come my way, I'll enjoy life regardless. I'm no supermodel - but I'm not the Hunchback of Notre Dame either, so surely appearance can't be all there is to it.
So I'm asking the men - is there something I'm doing that prevents male interest (or something I could do better to garner it)? Perhaps I'm missing some sort of obvious signal... | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:46:04 PM | | Even a blind squirel finds a nut if he looks hard enough. be you be happy and be patient | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:21:15 PM | You went from self-hatred to confidence.
My first guess is you are overdoing the confidence part. That possibly makes you appear aloof and not-giving-a-damn.
Interests --> probably okay, a lot of it seems American and I live in Europe, so can't comment much.
"I really don't mind how late you stay out, and I will be totally 100% on your side when you need me. " --> too hard sell.
"My worst habits (so you know what you're getting in for) are ___ " --> don't be an open book. and
"so you know what you're getting in" --> sweetie you're not signing a contract with nobody yet.
"other stuff" is quite okay.
Description of First Date --> sounds more like a programmed drill or a fantasy you harbor!
"points get removed IF --> big no no! Don't be a taskmaster lol
you really don't look bad at all! You seem to be an interesting person, just try to be amicable and approachable as well. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:35:07 PM | Keep working on yourself. You've made great progress thus far.
Most 21 year-olds are still in the process of determining how they are going to fit into the professional community and/or family structure. Since you are single, why not pursue personal health and college? When you take good care of yourself, you qualify for higher quality men, build self confidence, and inadvertently attract others.
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:36:57 PM | I have no idea what your think you may be dooing wrong in life, but going throo you profile i saw only 2 issues
1The little spot where you were talking about your ideal match, I donno bout anyone else but I think thats somthing you should keep betewwn yourself and your friends.
2 your first date thing........umm change it lol thats all i can say
and just remember men are basicly retarded (i know i live it day by day) so without knowing you and basing this on normal girls, just be more aggressive not crazy just aggressive :) | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:45:10 PM | | I think it is the approachable thing....if you come off with a vibe that you arent happy as well......I think everybody has others attracted to them....but it sometimes just isnt the same people we are attracted back... | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:47:15 PM | Do you only try to meet me offline, or have you bothered to write men online?
Some men may be intimidated by you/your profile. I could easily some men being intimidated by a confident woman who doesn't resort to hateful/baggage-esque cliches.
You're attractive, your profile while short is decent and solid, I have no idea about the area in which you live- if it's in the country (away from most people). So really, ignoring location, I'm not sure why someone hasn't written you.
And while you are 21, and at an age when such things as romance spring forth from the ruins of the teen years, I don't see that as a problem either.
It's a plus, too, that you enjoy Rupert Holmes enough to quote his most famous song :)
If you were closer, and I weren't seeing someone , I might write you. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:14:24 PM | Best Bait:
* Positive attitude
* Confidence
* Showing off the goods
* Smile a lot
* Learn the art of flirtation
Best Fishing Locations (for sexual attention):
* Anywhere alcohol is served
Other "best" fishing holes are wildly debated. Best tip I can give (other than following guidelines in "Best Bait") based on your pictures alone - get a new wardrobe. It's very 1990's, and makes you look 10 years older than you are. Dressing more modern doesn't have to cost a lot of money. Around here, I'm very lucky to have a couple second hand stores (which are 1/4 full with brand-new clothing) with a great selection. I get designer clothes for 1/4 to 1/10th of what they are in the mall down the street. If you go mall shopping, wait for big sales and check out the sales rack. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:19:45 PM | I think it all depends on your attitude towards things. Be random not care what you do. It will get you noticed. Other than that just got to wait for the right one. I've been told this a lot before, Don't go out and to try find someone, let them come to you.
I finally started listening to that and just last week I met up with a girl I have had a crush on since high school, and guess what...Now we are dating.
What I'm saying is just let it come to you. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:27:27 PM | | Those years spent loathing yourself created habits in how you view others and in how you present yourself. Maybe you have corrected the self-imaging problem but are still operating with the old expectations about how others see you. Attraction is about invitation to come closer for more. Typically, someone who is self-loathing projects warnings to stay away and not expect anything but trouble. I bet if you asked a friend to sit off to one side and watch you around men she could provide some helpful comments on the way you act, in terms of if you seem inviting and engaging or defensive and closed off. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:14:18 PM | Talking too much when you ought not and not talking when you should, isn't helping.
Knowing and listing your bad traits are separate critters. Don't combine em. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:33:56 PM |
I'm 21 and no man has ever shown any interest me in a romantic or sexual way.
Makes me think you've answered your own problem with
Perhaps I'm missing some sort of obvious signal...
No man has shown you interest in a sexual way? At all? And you've been online for at least 3 months?
Or you're just fishing for validation.
is there something I'm doing that prevents male interest
Hygiene? Don't go out? Showing your penis in public? Focusing so much on trying to be who you want other people to see you as that you come off as all fake? Act completely uninterested in other people? Act too interested in people?
or something I could do better to garner it
If you want the interest (romantic or sexual) you could try to slut it up a bit.
You might not want the interest after a while though.
Have you tried approaching guys? Or emailing them first on here? | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:39:21 PM | | Your outlook on life might be too mature. Try just going out and grabbing your own man since you're independant, confident and comfortable with yourself. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:53:23 PM | You need to sex yourself up a bit more girl...
You are attractive and you just don't show it ....
both men and women can easily convey themselves as sexually off limits or unavailable...you got to learn to turn it on..dont be afraid to make some mistakes or take some risks. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 4:01:39 PM |
I'm 21 and no man has ever shown any interest me in a romantic or sexual way.
Um... Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and call you a liar. Or maybe your just blimd. But, anyway, if you you want guys to be superficially attracted to you, Pull yourself together. Get off the pity pot, start working out, and eating right. In a years time, you'll not only be in shape, but you'll be young. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:57:07 PM | | Can I be honest, and I know I am no guy but just think about it... Girl, you dress 30 years older than you are. Do something about it. xx | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:23:04 PM | Lets state the obvious shall we?
1. Yes. It IS in fact you.
2. I find it extremely hard to believe that NO man has ever shown sexual/romantic interest in you. In fact I'm going to go ahead and say its impossible. Unless of course you've spent your entire life literally under a rock or in a cave or whatever. You get the point.........
3. I do believe that no man you have had sexual/romantic interest in has returned it.
4. Why? - I can not be for sure, but you may be going for guys a little out of your league. But that is just a guess, unless of course you have the worst personality ever...... Or you only shower like once a week, don't shave your armpits, or yea..... You get my point. | |
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| Is it men or me?
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:45:17 PM | | I was thinking men have the same problem with women | |
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