| concerned my profile reads too long....appreciate any thoughts
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:18:22 PM | | I'd appreciate your help reviewing my profile. My brief list of interests now reads more like a series of short stories about me, the more important people in my life and my interests. I'm concerned that it now comes across as just that a story. Any constructive thoughts are welcome. Thanks! | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| concerned my profile reads too long....appreciate any thoughts
Posted: 7/2/2009 8:59:14 PM | Looks good length wise now. 
I would delete a couple of the pics and put up some better ones. How about you on your motorcycle or doing other hobbies and fun stuff you enjoy? 
Also your main pic makes you look about 12, so maybe replace that one as well! lol Definately get rid of the one where your face is shiny...again it makes you look way too young and in need of clearasil! lol
I'm not trying to be mean, so please don't take it that way at all! You are cute but young looking, which is good, except when the pics make you look twelve.  | |
|
| |
| |
| concerned my profile reads too long....appreciate any thoughts
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:04:14 PM | | The only thing that puts me off in this profile is that if you and a girl got together, how long before she was one of those "old" hobbies? You mention moving on and it almost comes off like the girl would be pushed aside after a short while ... Maybe try to change the wording a bit there so that a girl would be confident that you had staying power (as relates to her). | |
|
| getting the hits but not the messages or replies
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:27:57 AM | | I'd appreciate your thoughts...what am I missing? Is it the tone, length, the list of characteristics I'm looking for...is this just the wrong site for me? thanks for the help. -sre | |
|
| getting the hits but not the messages or replies
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:34:53 AM |
I collect hobbies and experiences like Tiger Woods collects trophies...barely get one on the shelf before I'm trying a new one.
I think that's it right there that she mentioned. You could probably scrap it, then before or after the cajun cooking, briefly mention one or two other hobbies you've recently had. Maybe say that your hobby is finding more hobbies? I don't know if that comes off the same as she mentioned earlier.
What the heck is so great about Des Moines? I moved to KC a while back; every time someone mentions going to Des Moines, they look ill. Got any recommendations I can give my friends the next time they go? | |
|
| concerned my profile reads too long....appreciate any thoughts
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:00:38 PM | BiloxiGH,
I would have liked to read the earlier version of your profile, my two cents for you is having the "3 most important things about me you should know" type of profile, meaning pick three interests or attributes of yours that you expound on in a short 'n sweet paragraph for each. Choose your three hooks wisely, so you can get women interested enough to either send you that first contact or for her having something to respond back to when you contact them. For example, a good trio of topics would be cajun cooking, Des Moines, and the fireplace. In your description of the three hooks, you want to give a reader a tantalizing glimpse of who you are. Use humor sparingly, if that is your style. Otherwise, your profile is rather ho-hum and is quite run-of-the-mill, it's also so full of activity that I would seriously doubt you would have time for relationship. Right now you have the standard "everything but the kitchen sink" type of profile that is pretty dreary to read since it comes across as a laundry list of to-dos. Save some of the mystery to be unwrapped later! The last paragraph is also key, use more description of the kind of woman that you're looking for and less on abstract generalizations. Finally, you have but one chance to impress someone with your profile, and you need to grab them within the first 10 seconds of them reading it or otherwise they will move on to the next profile. Good luck, my friend, and happy fishing! | |
|
| concerned my profile reads too long....appreciate any thoughts
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:54:52 PM | I am going to make a couple of not so rash assumptions; you are in the Air Force, you are an officer and you are stationed at Keesler. If so, you might be better served stating your rank. That is a terrible place to try dating as a non-native to the area. The competition is or at least was horrendous. Probably not as bad at your age, I was there for 3 years in my 20s and the young guys out numbered the young ladies 100 to one or so.
Things that are hurting you are:
Military guys get transferred a lot
Military guys go to some nasty places where they might not come back from
Current location, small town with a big population of young single guys
Not sure how but you need to address the first 2 of those in your profile.
As to the 3rd one, I would be looking for dates away from Biloxi. Much better odds even 25 miles away.
All the best to you
Ron | |
|
| concerned my profile reads too long....appreciate any thoughts
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:25:09 PM | Thanks for the inputs and the time you spent to leave the detailed thoughts...I've changed the collecting hobbies part so it doesn't leave the impression that I'm out to "collect trophies."
Can't say that I agree with the 3 part profile however, I've tried those in the past and in my opinion they all come off as a flirty/come-on/playa type profile; I'm much more comfortable with something more mainstream because that's how I come off in person as well...much more clark kent than superman.
Again, thank you all. -sre | |
|
| getting the hits but not the messages or replies
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:42:09 PM | Afinger- To be honest, Des Moines tops my list because its home...my parents, sister, grand parents and most of my aunts, uncles and cousins are still within 50 miles. :-) its one of those comfort kind of places...I go there for the family and to find something very different than Biloxi...don't believe me do a search on 39532 (biloxi) and compare it to 50061 (west des moines). That said it really depends on the time of year and what you're into...the state fair is the best in the nation (prefer over the texas fair even), the iowa cubs farm league, iowa barnstormers (arena football), Smitty's has awesome pork tenderloin sandwiches and hand dipped shakes (honestly feels like they haven't updated the place since 1955), johnny's has some great italian food, and who can not be tempted by graziano's italian sausage or the amazing sweet corn (peaches and cream variety!) you can go sledding/tobaganning at the hill in waveland golf course. Finally, if you're just looking for some place to hang, there are plenty of dive bars downtown around the Drake campus...free drink at most on your birthday, makes for an interesting pub crawl.
I can't say your friends are wrong, but a trip every once in a while would be worth it. | |
|
| |
| getting the hits but not the messages or replies
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:48:32 PM | I love the ideas and images, but I keep imagining your daughter popping up just when I'm starting to think warm and fuzzy thoughts about you! (moooodkiller...)
As your hypothetical imaginary viewer who now has a passport, I wouldn't mind reading about your daughter in one of the 4 paragraphs, but not in 3 out of 4. I'd want to know more about you. I suspect you can easily rework the information to get the same ideas across without it being so child-focused. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
