| Victim Of My First Internet Dating
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:25:28 AM | First of February 2009, I went on line and was approached a week later by a man who lives locally. After reading his profile, and visited on the phone, we agreed to meet for dinner.
When we met, he was not that attractive and over weight, and limped! But seemed to have a great personality. When he first saw me he said “Wow”!
We laughed and had a great time. It was easy!
We continued to date each other for 4 ½ months. In the beginning and thru out our relationship, he said such wonderful things to me, such as
“ Are you my sweetheart” or
“ you look so beautiful”,
“ I love the way you dress”..”I am so proud to be seen with you, makes me so proud when I take you out”,
“ your hair and eyes are so beautiful”, “you are fun to be around”.
He even told me now that I have you, how am I gonna keep you!
Was I ever so naïve!
Our relationship started blossoming…I thought…..had so much fun! I truly enjoyed his companionship! He was so attentive to me! He would call me everyday! I loved it!
We only spent one weekend together, one Friday nght date. And spent one Sunday afternoon together in 4 ½ months.
We would go out on dates only thru the week..either he would take me out to dinner or I would cook dinner in for him several times and send the left overs home with him.
I have even paid for a couple of our dinners, just to show him I was not a gold digger! I did not mind to pay for dinner! No big deal for me!
Then he planned another weekend with me, 2 weeks before…and on Monday before the weekend, he said “I will see you Friday night”.
But on Thursday, I called him and said let’s do something tonight and he agreed. We had a great time as usual.
But on Friday, he would not answer his cell#. He called me on Sat morning and was at his Lake House supposedly! I was upset with him, because he had made plans to take me to the Lake House at Roaring River for the weekend and also wanted to take me to a special restaurant in Eureka Springs because I was so special and I was at the top of his list. When I asked him about how did I miss the communication on the week end, his tone changed, he suggested that we needed some time apart from each other. A week goes by and then he tells me he is non committable…
WOW. This is his profile….Does this profile look like he is non committable?
Looking for my sweetheart!!!!!
I'm a hard working man who enjoys the company of a lovely woman.
Would love to meet someone who would like to share my life with me.
I love being a Gandpa,going camping,boating,traveling and spending c….Fayetteville,AR
My heart was broken!
Red Flags started popping up. Guess they had been popping up all along, but did not want to believe it!
I feel like he is either married or has another steady relationship. Or who even knows!
I could tell he was on the dating web sites every day, I would always look. He told me the web sites Lie. LOL…the sites always shows “on line today” or “ on line yesterday” or even last week. But he said those are LIES…he had not been on for a week…yeah right!
I have never been with him on a holiday..Not Valentines(no flowers), Easter, Memorial, nor 4th of July. Supposedly he is at his daughters or with his son.
Really never gave this much thought about being absent on holidays since I am a real family person!
Our last conversation was when I ended it. He told me he spent a Lot Of Money on me! Only money he spent on me was dinner! I was shocked he would even say that to me. His true colors came out!
Is this what one would call a seasoned dater…I hear some of the men knows exactly how to play women…well, I guess so, I feel like a victim of the internet dating now! I hope you Ladies beware of men like this! This was my first relationship since my divorce…it broke my heart!
Below was the last time he heard from me by email:
I have been hurt!
Friday, I called and humbled myself to you, that I wanted more of you.
You already know my true feelings that I have shared with you.
We have continued to talk for many days and I still feel hurt.
I do not feel I have received any compassion from you.
I will not allow myself to be made to feel unworthy of your presence anymore!
I deserve a relationship that is fun, playful, easy on the mind and also committable.
Which I thought was the kind of relationship we shared.
You know, like the one you described in your profile.
After carefully deliberating our friendship, I have made a decision to move on! | |
|
| Victim Of My First Internet Dating
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:10:54 PM |
After carefully deliberating our friendship, I have made a decision to move on!
 You don't owe him another drop of your sadness or another piece of your heart.
Look inside & see what a fantastic person you are. Someone somewhere will fall head over heels in love with the person you are & it will be his loss. | |
|
| Victim Of My First Internet Dating
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:44:47 AM | It is sad that people use the internet as a tool to play other people. What happened to you happens to men as well. The main thing is to never give up. This does not have to be wasted time if you use it as a learning experience. It always hurts when we are lied to. Keep a positive attitude, but pay attention to those red flags.
That is from a man's perspective. The best advice you are going to get though, is the advice you just recieved from JuJuBee. You will find someone someday that will make this experience seem like it never happened. | |
|
| Victim Of My First Internet Dating
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:11:51 AM | | Welcome to the real world! Your story not only applies to Internet dating, but dating in general. It happens in both worlds. I could write a book! The pain one feels when the heart has been wounded is not pleasant. We've all been there. | |
|
| Victim Of My First Internet Dating
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:09:31 PM | Sally,
You have to have your radar, head, heart, and gut feelings on max alert these days. If the red flags are fluttering and the audio alert says "danger, danger, Willene Robinson, danger," ...obey the signs. You don't have the benefit of Mom or Dad trying to steer you clear of pitfalls as in the days of yesteryear. Bottom line, if it doesn't "feel right" or if the story keeps changing...then move on...quickly. Be picky, don't settle for the bottom easy picking fruit...go for the fruit at the top of the tree!
For some horror stories, read through the "Forums" section in POF on other peoples experiences that may be similar to yours. After we have been out of the dating scene for awhile (20 or 30 years), we need to understand that it is not all sweetness and cream, or we can be very easily taken in by liars, schyster's, and others who do not have our best interests in their depraved minds.
Use the internet search tools to verify what someone tells you. Personally, I have no problems in running background checks on people, checking court records, phone numbers to addresses to see who all has that same number and lives at the same address, etc., to know all I can about someone.
If they bug you...BLOCK THEM from contacting you again! You can report them to the "site master" or whatever it is called.
You can be proud of yourself that you were able to see through the smoke and fog early on before you reached the point where it would have been very hard and maybe costly to get out of the relationship. Look at the experience you learned from failure, and turn it into a success!
Ben | |
|
| Victim Of My First Internet Dating
Posted: 7/22/2009 5:55:48 PM | I'd like to second what Ben and the others said. Good Points.
Talk/email to a lot of people on the net. Continue even if you have a couple dates with someone. Talking is not going to hurt anyone. Until you're read to move in with each other or get hitched, you're free to have as many friends as you want and date anyone. talking is not sleeping around. | |
|
| Victim Of My First Internet Dating
Posted: 10/25/2009 7:53:53 PM | | This isn't a "internet is a bad spot" story....it's just a bad relationship story. Let go of the anger and hate so you can make room for future love. You'll find love...chin up! | |
|
|
Home
login 
