| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:12:35 PM | "Why the long face?"
Smiles are cheap...but incredibly valuable...and I'm constantly stunned at why women don't use them.
Today, while listening to a webcast for a couple of hours I browsed profiles and kept track (OK, cheap statistics but still interesting)...of the 100 profiles I popped into (some new, some old fora denizens, some local talent scrolling across the top of my screen). I avoided profiles with no thumbnail pics...and age ranges varied from 18-60ish...I found the following...
Total Pics: 572 (avg 5.72 pics per person)
368 Pics with people in them (gotta love the dog, cat, horse and of course their vacation scenery pics)
337 Pics with people where it was actually the POF member (IOW, not kids, not others)
284 Pics with one person where it was the POF member (IOW, not kids, others)
221 Pics with a reasonable head shot (IOW, you can see their facial expression)
Of the 221 where a facial expression is visible (IOW, no CGI stuff, costumes, etc.), it breaks down like this.
...Appears happy/relaxed/trying to smile: 63
...Appears sad/angry/bored: 110
...Appears to have negative 'tude: 46
...??????: 2
And the sad thing is, the ones where they were smiling using had 3-5 smiling pics...
...SO GIRLS...the big question is, "Why so glum in a pic in which you are ostensibly trying to put your best foot forward to introduce yourself?"
I mean, I get it...dating is not for wimps...but I seriously wonder about all the complaints about guys when I see pics of girls who understand hair and makeup and fashion and opt not to use any of their feminine wiles in an effort to attract a man? Seems like the guys that are attracted to the negativity in the pics may not be good candidates to spend an evening with.
And yet...people complain they can't get date...yet they display a pic they wouldn't give their mom to stick on the fridge.
So tell the assembled masses...are you happy with your pics? How does a non-happy/relaxed/smiling pic affect you when you pop in to look at a profile?
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| Smiles on profile photos
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:19:47 PM | | I have to agree that smiles on profile photos are the pretty wrapping on a package that don't cost a cent. I've also seen this on men's profiles: frowning, grimmacing, and wearing dark sunglasses that obsure the face. Perhaps these are the best photos they have...that's a scarry thought!! Hah, ha. | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:23:22 PM | First of all I don't think that "Us" women are the only ones with profile pic issues.. I'm sure if I ran the same test on the male profiles my numbers would look much worse than yours.
Secondly, a lot of women are self consious (can't spell sorry) about their smiles. A lot of women think they look better. I think if they were told that they had beautiful smiles they would do it more often.
And yes I would give my mother my pic to put on her fridge! | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:17:37 PM |  Umm my mom has worse pics of me on her fridge. Like baby pics, Halloween pics, etc. She even has a real nice pic of me and my cleavage. But it's mom, what ya gonna do?
OP try scanning some male profiles. Then tell me why so many men aren't smiling or just look plan old PSYCHO in their pics. Or why so many men have pics of their "toys" (i.e. trucks, bikes, cars, etc.).
Some people aren't really sure how to sel themselves, some may not have great pics, and some well, I couldn't tell you what they were thinking.
I am happy enough w/ my pics, they look like me and I don't look mental. Enough for a dating sight profile. | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:26:01 PM | I smile a lot. My pics pretty much testify to that.
I do hate when I am out and don't happen to be grinning like a loon and some random guy comes up to me and tells me to smile. Or to cheer up. Or why so sad. Etc. Why do guys do that? <-- rhetorical question. Please do not respond. | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:31:18 PM | Historically, there was a reason people rarely smiled in photos. The exposures were usually long, and it was much harder for people to fix a smile on their faces than it was to hold a calm or even stern expression. Plus, I think people just weren't happy back then. No TV.
Sometimes, smiling isn't the best approach. If your face gets all scrunched up like Renee Zellweger's...please remain calm.
Some people are self-conscious about they's teefus. You know, if your stuff looks like corn...it's probably best you don't smile. Ditto if your teeth look like asphalt. Unless you're happy about it. | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:42:03 PM | Trying to remember if I am smiling in all my pixs? No kids, check. No other people, check (assuming my first virtual gift of teddy bear doesn't count) Smiling?
Oh well, who cares. I will just have to win them over with my dazzling personality. LOL | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:13:59 PM | | Every picture you see of me will have me smiling. It's like an automatic reflex. Besides, I smile most of the time even when I'm not having my photo taken. I just enjoy smiling. It make me feel good and the day goes much better. | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:10:04 PM | | Nothing looks worse than a forced smile, there is a trick to getting a natural smile from someone and most people taking pictures don't do it for a living, and don't know how to get a proper smile. I smile when I'm having a good time but normally there is nobody taking pictures at those times, or the pictures are to far away to see the face clearly. When someone is taking my picture for the sake of taking my picture I am not having a good time, and if I tried to smile it just wouldn't look natural. | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/3/2009 2:27:23 AM | spot4username:
I do hate when I am out and don't happen to be grinning like a loon and some random guy comes up to me and tells me to smile. Or to cheer up. Or why so sad. Etc. Why do guys do that?
spot4username, I was going to say exactly the same thing and I saw your post. Glad to know I am not the only woman who's dealt with that. It's so annoying and pompous when men do that!
I was at a club with friends, we were laughing hysterically almost all the time we were there... we walked across the dance floor I was following them and at the moment not smiling. Out of nowhere steps some dude, he looks at me and demands that I smile. I just gave him a wierd look, since I don't emote on command. Then he tells me to 'cheer up', as if I wasn't doing just fine 'til he intruded himself into my fun, trying to convince me that I felt some way I knew I didn't, or that I should express some emotion I wasn't currently expressing.
Also it's similar when they keep demanding that you 'relax' and you were already feeling just fine...so what's their problem? | |
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uSPIN
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Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 17 | |
| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:33:39 AM | Re: random guy comes up to me and tells me to smile. Or to cheer up. Or why so sad. Etc. Why do guys do that?
They do this mainly because they are trying to get your attention. Basically its for one of two reasons: (1.) Your (In their mind) the weakest animal in the pack and possibly easy picking. (2.) Their kinda of shy and not confident at striking up conversation so take a mad notion to burst into someones space with something that might get a reaction (but 9 of 10 times its the wrong reaction).  | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/3/2009 12:35:35 PM |
They do this mainly because they are trying to get your attention. Basically its for one of two reasons: (1.) Your (In their mind) the weakest animal in the pack and possibly easy picking. (2.) Their kinda of shy and not confident at striking up conversation so take a mad notion to burst into someones space with something that might get a reaction (but 9 of 10 times its the wrong reaction).
Yes it's pretty obvious they are trying (unsuccessfully) to hit on us and that's why they do that.
Go figure that a complete stranger walking up to us out of the blue, and telling us that they don't like our facial expression, or that they assume we're in a bad mood, isn't a really great ice-breaker!
In other breaking news, when we were little girls on the playground, we didn't like the boys who came up behind us and yanked on our pigtails, either! | |
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| A horse walks into a bar...the bartender looks at it and asks...
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:19:39 PM |
...I've had more than 30 new first time female viewers of my profile.
So the funny thing is...the percentage of smiling/happy faces (~12% of total and ~23% of facial pics in the original sampling) that, for the last 30 viewers...is about 40% and 80%.
Searchers winking? Coincidence? Predictive explanation (people having an aha moment and wanting to look at the profile)? The difference between sampling during the time of day versus looking at people who actually found a reason to want to click on your profile?
Doesn't matter...just interesting the recent change in stats.
And heck, it's a lot nicer reading about someone following a pleasant and happy look from their pics. Say what you want, we all viscerally relate. Get someone smiling before they start reading seems to be a good thing.
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