| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:32:07 PM | | Hi. I've been out on 3 dates with this one guy, & he told me over the phone that he was thinking he'd like to cook dinner for me at his apartment. We've been on 3 dates, and I really like him, and I think he likes me, but am not sure why he's telling me he wants to cook dinner for me at his place after only the 4th time meeting him. Is it too soon for him to ask this? Does it mean he just wants to get me in bed? Guys, what's your opinion? Thanks!! | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:39:20 PM | Sweetheart, I want you in bed and we haven't even met.
Is it too soon for him to ask? Absolutely not. Perfectly normal.
Does it mean he just wants you in bed? Unless he's a chef or some serious foodie, yes, he just wants you in his apartment. But, you also hint that he "Just" wants you in bed, moments after saying "I think he likes me."
You can't risk not getting hurt unless you decided that it's you in charge of your life and you want to get into bed with this guy for your own reasons ... and then you leave the situation when and how you want to for your own reasons. It's not about him, him, him, him. Yes, it's a risk that he'll leave on his terms before you want him too .... but that risk is always there. | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:40:15 PM | Do you trust him? Does he show any proclivities that he maybe unstable? Have you seen a wanted poster in the PO with his face on it? If the answers to those are no, then I am sure it is going to be okay for a 26 year old women to go to a man's apartment unchaperoned.
But it is just a hunch. Just in case, drive yourself over there, keep your cell phone on (in the silent mode only) and just say NO if things go down a path that makes you too uncomfortable. | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:42:44 PM | Sounds like he is broke so he thought of a way you can still have a good time without spending cash.
Those are usually the best dates...dinner, movie, and some cuddling just you and him.
I would say he is broke before I would say he is just trying to get you in bed. If you don't want anything to happen let him know. Also tell him you aren't going to stay over. | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:49:01 PM | All this good advice.
For one I enjoy cooking dinner for a woman. I think its a bit of a turn-on for most, and yep id be lying if i said i wasnt trying to get her in the sack. But its up to the woman. Ive cooked dinner at my place and then they left, no sex.
Don't worry about it if you dont sleep with the guy. A good guy will understand. He will just go, "well shit i coulda swore breaking out the big guns like dinner at my place woulda worked, oh well" and try again another time. | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:50:18 PM | I wouldn't assume that he's broke just because he wants to cook for her, which is a kind gesture.
What type of an assumption is that?
OP, although it's okay for you to assume that he wants to get you in bed by inviting you to his home on the 4th date, perhaps he doesn't plan to.
In the end, its' your choice.
Good luck to you. | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:59:01 PM | | You said that this is the 4th date. Its perfectly normal for him to want to cook for you and heat you up in other ways too. Its all good. Just let him know in a nic e way that would love to come for dinner but you have to be home at a certian time | |
|
| |
Bluez
|
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 9 | |
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:06:56 PM | C'mon OP... admit it.. you kinda like the thought that he "might" want to get you into bed, right?? Not that he will, but that he might. If that thought wasn't in your head, you'd simply accept his offer of a home cooked meal and spending time with him at his home. Now you may have no intention of doing anything more, but be honest... if you knew he had no sexual plan for that night, you'd kind of feel let down a bit. It's called sexual tension, and let's face it, we all want to feel sexually desirable to someone we're seeing. You don't have to act on it... but I'll bet you've already wondered what he looks like naked.... right?
Bluez | |
|
| |
OKRob
|
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 11 | |
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:13:12 PM | | I sense excited butterflies making you overthink. If you have no reason to doubt him don't doubt him. You might be onto something.... I'd be taking you for milkshake and fries ;) | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:15:50 PM | RushLuv sorry I'm not a mind reader. I have no idea what the guys intentions are or why he wants to cook her dinner. I just give advice from what I've seen before. When my buddies or myself invite a woman over to dinner and to watch some movies or what not--that means we/I am broke and can't afford to go out. It's better than telling her, "Hey, I'm broke so we can't go out but we can chill at my place" or "I'm broke, you want to float me some cash so we can go out?"
Sorry, didn't mean to bump into the stick that's up your butt. | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:26:40 PM | if anyone offers to cook me a meal i would jump on that opportunity .
its ok to go to anothers apt/house/campsite on the first date. i see nothing wrong with meeting up at a person home. just eat his food and enjoy. | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:28:59 PM | Some people go by the 3 dates rule suggesting you'll sleep together by the third date. I am guessing he is not since you have already been on 3 dates.
I wouldn't worry about it too much if you trust him. Regardless, you should always let somebody else know where to find you and check up so you'll be safe.
No pressure. I am sure if he really likes you that he's willing to wait until you are comfortable before pursuing sex. | |
|
| |
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:48:26 PM | That's right. Never said that he is in the same boat.
I said that it sounds like it is from my perspective and personal experiences.
No one ever knows the exact answer on these forums. The idea of these forums is to get multiple opinions and advice from different people and to work with the information you are given.
I gave her my opinion. Just like everyone else. You don't have to like it nor does she. I don't know the guy so I can't say anything for sure and neither do you. That's why the OP has to take any advice and opinions with a grain of salt. And with the economy the way it is you cannot rule out that he doesn't have the money to take her out. Not saying that he is less of a man or that he should take her out...it's a very nice gesture...and like I said, those normally are the best dates.
So again, sorry for bumping into your stick. | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:42:46 PM | Remember Sister you are STRONG young women who is in the controller seat.
If he ask you for dinner to his place do you feel comfortable on going over.??
If not don't go, tell him you are busy that day.
Also, if you do go take a salad or something - but no drinking - only ONE GLASS!
stay in total control. Tell him you would love to come for dinner but must be
a short evening because you have to work on a project at home that is due the next
day, make some excuse... you control this situation. If you want to go to bed with
him, that is up to you. Are you ready ..Emotions!!!! doesn't sound like you are
ready yet. I think you need to spend some more quality time with this man before
anything big and heavy! Three dates mean nothing.
Take more time!!! Have FUN, life is short! Good Luck! | |
|
| OK for a man to ask woman to his apt on 4th date?
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:02:18 PM | Guys, what's your opinion? Thanks!!
My girlfriend and I came back to my apartment after our first date to watch a movie. That's all we did. I don't see anything wrong with asking. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
