| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:41:44 PM | last night while i was driving the dj had a question for all the listners he had asked
is it ok to date more than one person at a time?
i was just wondering what you all thought?
and if this thread has been over done im truly sorry | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:02:31 PM | No problem with it, IMO. I often date multiple women at the same time (and yes, they know about it). It happens a lot because you meet people off of here and you're still getting to know them. However, eventually you're going to have to choose ONE otherwise the relationship doesn't go anywhere--and if that's your goal then I guess continue dating multiple people at the same time.
Further, the women I date also date other men. You shouldn't decide to be exclusive with someone until you get a good idea of what kind of person they are and if there is a possiblity of a lasting relationship with them. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:09:32 PM | Because many people assume that the other person is dating only them, it is advisable for anyone who is dating more than one person to be open about that. However, that can not be something written in stone either, because there are always possiblilities of extenuating cirsumstances. Being the devil's advocate,  suppose you are dating Alice, and you happen to meet Beth, and you decide to do the boring thing, and go to a coffee shop. (sorry a personal bias!) Are you going to call Alice up and say, "Hello honey, I just decided to go with Beth to the coffee shop!" The results of doing that would be a foregone conclusion . . .
I think that the best way to deal with the issue is in the very beginning, when you start dating someone, to tell them frankly that they do not own any rights of that nature until the two of you decide to make an exclusive dating agreement. If they can't handle a little bit of truth in the beginning, how are they going to deal with the truth when they find out later on that you are not perfect? If you do not discuss the rules in the beginning anyway, what gives you the right to complain if you find the person is dating someone else at the same time? If you expect others to read your mind, you can't be to good at communication. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:42:18 PM | | It's not for me, it's hard enough for me to handle one woman, but as long as you haven't become "exclusive" there's nothing technically wrong with it. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:45:36 PM | | I'm a HUGE advocate of dating multiple, or at least being open to it should you find multiple people to date. Especially for people who tend to over-obsess (you know who you are) about relationships. When I meet someone that makes me not want to date anyone else... THEN (and only then) am I ready to broach the commitment subject. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:04:07 PM | | I wont do it, and if someone does it to me they be gone pronto | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:06:10 PM | | You are damned if you do, damned if you don't. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:22:14 PM | yup i have to agree with every one here tonight thanks guys | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:29:37 PM | | I think it depends on your definition of the word date. IMO If I am dating someone we are intimate with each other, and in that case no it is completely disrespectful to date multiple people. Some consider dating to be just hanging out, and getting to know each other. In that case i guess it's okay. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:48:01 PM | Yes it's ok, until it turns "serious."
Usually "serious" to me is the first kiss.
If we're exchanging bodily fluids then to me that's serious. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:54:47 PM | | Remember, there are a lot of people that advocate sex on the first date... that means chances are someone is getting sloppy seconds... | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:03:39 PM | Nope.
How will you feel if a guy tell you: " dear, I like you but your number 7th and your turn will come in about 2 weeks after I finish sampling the other girls before you."
You will say that the guy is a darn player who is gaming in the meat market..and your just a piece of meat waiting to see if you qualify for his BBQ.
So why doing the exact SAME thing?
a-ha!
Selection is fine..but ONE at the time. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:44:35 PM | I don't understand the assumption you are not, unless are exclusive, having sex, in love/lust, had the talk ect.
Is it ok? If you feel it's ok it is.
Personally I am at a point where I am not a juggler.
I have to much to do.
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:50:11 PM | Personally, I've never been good at juggling but some people seem born to.
Like others have replied though, I think the key sits with how you feel about it and that you embrace the principles of openness and honesty with whoever (else) you're involved with. If/when a relationship moves to a place of declared or implied exclusivity, then it's time to choose if that's the relationship y0u wish to pursue. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 8:52:52 PM | Personaly I've only dated one at a time. Thats because I couldnt get two at a time, I'm not that lucky. Then I got married, divorced, re-married, now seperated for good. Now I would love to date again, but no one around here wants to date me. If I were to date two women at once, its because they were either extremely drunk, on life support, or were under the fantastic impression that my wallet contained more than $2 at any given time.
Dating more than one person also causes mental issues and possible health problems from what I've heard. Therefore, I must be very healthy and mentaly stable, right? | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:21:43 PM | I prefer to just date half people, a whole one being too much at once.
Dance | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:30:41 PM | Well, being a member of an older generation with mores a bit more strict than the current generation I tend to look at dating as a period of exploration. An interval between first meeting and getting serious / exchanging body fluids (kissing). During that period you've made no commitments other than where to meet or dinner/movie. So I see no reason one couldn't "date" more than one at a time. Not that it ever happened during the last go 'round'. And I doubt it would happen this go 'round either -- I have enough trouble keeping pills and meds straight, much less dates. I think one at a time is enough of a challenge any more.
But once you've crossed that line marking intimacy then all bets are off. You've crossed from intimacy to (?) relationship (?) and initiated a rapport establishing a new level of trust and expectations of monotomy, er, monogamy.
TK
{monotomy, now where did that come from?} | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:35:43 PM | | no im talking about just going out on a date nothing more than that no exchanging body fluids so on and so forth. | |
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| heard on the raido
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:36:41 PM | | I only date one person at a time and I won't date a guy who multiple dates. It's a huge turn off. | |
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