| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:27:42 PM | I hope this isn't seen as a self-pity thread but what else would you find in the broken hearts section?
I am truly heart broken today, but I know I will be find. I was with my boyfriend for just over a year. And yes, we had our problems. I loved that man and I feel like he loved me at first. But, he kept needing time to think. Seems like every three months or so, we would go through a spell like that. Well, I think we have hit our last and final spell. Seems like to me that I couldn't do anything right in the end. Well, that's ok. I am already down ten pounds on my way to my goal, and I will be fine. Just really hurting tonight and I guess this is a self pity thread.....looking for a little encouragement. My eyes feel like if one more stupid tear drops they will fall out. | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:36:00 PM | | Don't look at it as 13 months down the drain. Think of it as 13 months learning what you will and will not want in a relationship and know that this is a learning experience even though it hurts. Hurt in moderation is healthy. It helps make us stronger and if you're intent on losing weight then great however, love yourself. I'm an old lady and that's one thing I've taught myself. Love ME. Try it. It's good. And a little self pity is good too. It's when you dwell in it that it's harmful. So let the teardrops fall and then get on with your life because YOU deserve it!! | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:44:27 PM | | I feel for you. I know what it is like to cry. But.. you think it's over? You get to make that decision you know. If he needs time to think every 3 months then this is not the guy for you. Definitly not healthy. Do things for you. Work on yourself and forget him. you will be a better person for it. | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/2/2009 5:15:06 PM | | 13 months is nothing. I knew the man for 13 years before I married him and then after 3and 1/2 years of marrige, he went to school for his job and picked up a little hussy. It took me a couple of years, but I am well over him. I can talk about it now with out yelling and using words that you don't use in front of your mother! I also lost 20lbs through all that. Bad thing is, I gained it all back. You will be fine. Stay as far away from him and his best friends as you can. It will make it easier. Good luck. | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:14:37 PM | Thank you so much to everyone for their encouragement. ceejay, you are right. 13 months pales in comparison to 13 years. Sometimes, it is hard to believe the coldness off the human heart. I just don't understand what happened to working through your problems and believing you have something worth holding onto. Anyway, I am so sorry that you had to live through it .
I thought of this story and thought I would share it. My mother's best friend had a child that died of the disease that they made the movie Lorenzo's Oil about (Lou Gehrig?). Anyway, her husband had left her during the sickness for another woman. Well, at the funeral, who does he bring????? The other woman;. I was only 13 years old, but I just thought that was tacky.....I remember thinking that.
I had a friend that's dad left her mom for another woman. She was in a pageant and begged him not to bring the other woman becuase they wound was fresh for her mom. What did he do??? Brought her......I just don't get it.... | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/2/2009 10:56:06 PM | It's truly disheartening how today it seems that the vast majority of society treats relationships as simply disposable. So too many are of the "instant gratification" ilk... and, the self-absorbed entitlement kings/queens... those that view others as meaninglessly dispensable, and add: deny it.
I reiterate... the VAST majority, IMO.... not all; but, it sure has left me gun shy these last 5 years or so, and the thing is: it doesn't bother me to be so. Actually, it leaves me to wonder (albeit, rarely anymore) if that's a good thing (to be gun shy, and not bothered by it)... or, not. | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:26:53 AM | aww been there, actually i'm still there. I 'm not gonna say bs like "oh give it time" because honestly if you really loved them the pain may never go away you just learn how to deal with your emotions better. Don't worry you'll meet someone else and you'll be happy again. :)  | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:07:20 AM | Unfortunately, sparklingrose is bang on for the way most people view dating. The medium we are using is a culprit in this. There definitely is a disconnect happening with so much online usage. People are beginning to regard others as something akin to a MS word file that can be dumped in the trash when the person in question is no longer useful to them.
I'm a 36 year old single male. I met someone off this site only last week. I thought we really hit it off and now I've been blocked by that person and unable to contact her to find out what's going on. Perhaps the worst in judgment on my part is the fact that in our drunkenness, we ended up fooling around. It was awkward but I thought it was some sort of indication that this woman liked me.
I know, this doesn't really sound all that common coming from a male, but we have feelings too and not all men regard sex as merely a physical act. Sure, I wasn't in love with this person, but I had the impression that getting to that stage of intimacy was a good indicator that I'd see her again. Yeah...I'm hurting...and it's not the first time nor will it be the last I would venture to guess. For those that are going through the same thing - male or female - I hear ya, I'm with ya and I'm glad that there are still people out there who aren't devoid of the basic human elements such as compassion and genuine interest in getting to know people and perhaps finding someone so special that you get woozy when you think of them....
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:25:22 AM | | Don't feel bad. I am in the same sitution. I just broke up after a year with the same guy. He constantly told me that he loved me and that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and then all of a sudden yesterday he broke up with me via text message. No real explanation. I am heart broken but life will go on. At the end of a day someone that behaves the way that these guys do do not deserve someone like us. | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:39:47 PM | Hello
Fate has a way of telling you maybe this wasn't the right situation and you deserve much better. Don't think you wasted time...Think it as a second chance to find out what is right for you.
I found my soul mate in life and just lost him in January. There is a wonderful song that Allan Jackson does and you have to hear it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fiHPCnwm_o&NR=1
Move on feel good about yourself. Always remember there is someone that is hurting as bad if not worse then you. I miss my husband every minute of every day but I have
to hope he is in a better place and one more song by Allan Jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8sWwFIFlK8
He flew up to heaven on the wings of angels.
Take care things will get better and there is someone special that is coming your way!
I am hoping my heart will heal enough someday so maybe I can try to find that special someone for the second time in my life.
Peace love and laughter.................... | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:44:12 AM | I just want to thank everyone for their kind replies. I truly do love this feller, but of course, it takes two to tango as the old saying goes. The good thing is, in time (when I have healed) I believe we can be friends. And that is valuable to me.
I will listen to that allan jackson song. I am sorry about the loss of your husband. What a wonderful blessing it sounds like he was to you. If I find that once, I will count myself blessed.
I can't believe that after a year you got a text break up with no explanation...Wow.....People just amaze me. I don't know when this culture became so entrenched in the idea that people are disposable easily. I just don't feel that way. I do realize that sometimes, relationships have to end, and I have ended my share. But, at this age, I am more willing to work and try to come to a compromise that all can live with.....
Well, again, thanks for all the kind remarks | |
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| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:54:39 AM | | first off im sorry for what happend to you.i dont know if anyone else takes a little time from their gf/bf to think. i do i use it to resure myself of whats going on in my life where my life is going with the girl im with an such. i feel for you an your situation,but i had a girl i loved to death an she told me i didnt love her an broke up with me,i dont wanna pity cause of it.if your a great person an they over looked you its their loss not yours. | |
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nonf
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Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| 13 months down the drain
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:53:01 PM | | Hi I am sorry for your loss. I am going through a similiar situation. I was with this girl for nine months and I loved her dearly I still do. I just can't get her out of my mind. Her family did not like me. They are European like me. I had just lost my wife to cancer 4 months before we got together so this has been very hearbreaking for me. I just take this pain one day at a time. It gets better however it still hurts. I f you want to talk drop me a message. Chow and good luck | |
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