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 Author Thread: Constuctive Review Please
 blackfox13

Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 1
Constuctive Review Please
Posted: 7/3/2009 5:08:50 AM
Hi Guys, I need a constructive review on my profile. Getting some views, no responses to messages and generally not having a lotta luck. So any help you can give would be most appreciated. Thanks in advance.
 luvnlife2

Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Constuctive Review Please
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:31:32 AM

I need a constructive review on my profile.


Your profile reads like a series of lists:

* Things I Like
* Things I dislike
*Things that are important
*Things that I am
*Things I am not

I suggest re-writing it into a narrative format that tells us who you are, what you like to do, and what your goals and ambitions in life are.

Drop me a message I might more intresting than the photo would suggest. - Delete. Women already know to contact you if they are interested.

Also, i hate to admit it but i am shy. - Delete. This sounds like someone who lacks social skills. Is that you?

If i viewed you and didn't message you then thats why. - Delete.

First Date: The first date? Anything goes...... - Come up with something fun and interesting for a first date.

Live within 75 miles.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
If you want more contacts, delete all these restrictions.
 superprothehero

Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 3
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History
Constuctive Review Please
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:35:13 AM
Seriously, never ever never ever ever ever never evr evr ,,,,tell a woman you are shy and especially use it as an "excuse" why you didn't message her. Right off the bat she think s that if you have not even a teeny tiny bit of confidence to approach her on here where it's perfectly OK and acceptable to so, then why would she believe you have the confidence to provide her with an exciting and meaningful date?
Women find confident men exciting. Not only confidence but humour is so very important as well. They want to laugh and share smiles. They want to feel happy inside by stimulation. If you come across as shy you pretty much give them a concrete wall 10 feet thick with only a toothpick for them to get into who you are.
Your profile is nothing more than a long "shopping" list with spelling errors.
Please, please don't take any of this offensively but you really need to show your character in your profile.
Think of it this way, when you go to a restaurant would you rather read a grocery list like this:

"Italian sausage, green peppers, onions"
.
or a menu of carefully pepared dishes like this: "You are sure to enjoy our delicious suculent Italian sausage smothered in sweet fresh garden green peppers and sweet savory onions."

See my point??? you gotta sell yourself. You can do it!!
Go read some other profiles and pay attention to what stands out as far as creative writing. Most of all be funny and show some character.

you can do it!
Good luck fishin'
 blackfox13

Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 4
Constuctive Review Please
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:09:38 AM
Thanks both for your reviews, I have adjusted my profile to your suggestions and i am working on some better pictures to put up there as well. Now I just need the techs to sort my little problem with missing paragraphs, heh. Anyway feel free to check out my changes and give me your critique if you feel its necessary. Thanks again.
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