| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:35:35 AM | | im not really sure if ill get any new ideas on this subject but im curious as to what you all will say. i started msging a man on pof. he was exactly my "type" and i was very interested. we chatted and texted and phn convo's. he set up a cpla dates and both times cancelled. i made it very clear tht tht kind of behaivor wasnt cool and stopped talking to him. a week goes by.. i had moved on and continued my "fishing". he texts me out of the blue saying tht hes going out of town and wants to see me when he gets back.. he made a mistake. i explain that i dont want 2 play games and have no desire to chase a man, my normal m.o., and although i wont make him chase me; i refuse to chase him. over the course of the weekend his msgs get more and more serious.. "im falling for u. i think i could marry u, move in with u, i want u 2b my girl" all this kind of freaks me out, because its so soon but i justify it with the idea tht ppl online are "ready' for a relationship and he was just putting all his cards on the table so to speak. and, i was digging him. really digging him, i guess i wanted to believe the nonsense coming out of his mouth. i told him tht if this next date was broken it would b a deal breaker. well monday rolls around and conveniently he misses his flight and gets back in2 town to late for our date. i gave him the benefeit of the doubt and said i cld wait till the following day. again with the "im falling for u, i want u 2b my girl.. blah blah blah." next day? blows me off again. so i ended it. my question is folks.. why talk me up tht way? did he just want 2 pretend he was ina relationship? was he insecure? lying in his pics? what? im over the whole thing but 2b quite honest the "why" has been bothering me.. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:44:56 AM | He? it could have been a he.
that's one possibility.
It could have been a she.....a hermaphrodite, or a bull dyke with women hatred issues.
On the other hand, it could have been a chimp....or a typing cat
or...a 400 lb. policeman with a jar of vaseline , a romantic heart, and a slippery keyboard.
do ya....ummm..do ya see what I 'm sayin here...????
You are having thoughts about a ghost....
a mirage
a magical moment of nothingness.
eh...could be worse, I suppose
K'imbo | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:45:58 AM | | Ok sweetie he's a loser and he will keep playing that game as long as you let him........................let it go and find someone worth your time. | |
|
| |
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:48:27 AM | Real simple. Regardless of all the other messages etc. If you had never met him in real life and he is already saying he wants to marry you. Move on. There are issues there that are not good. The only way that might come up is in the scenario of cultures that follow arranged marriages. Then it is acceptable and practiced, at times, for the people to discuss and work toward marriage without meeting many times and getting to know each other in that way.
Therefore any trying to reason out why he did some of the things he did is futile. Unless the above criteria are in place he might have mental issues and you should just move on and forget about him. Unless of course you choose to counsel him for the help he might need. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:58:04 AM | | You should really move on from him OP. This is a text-book case of a woman being manipulated into falling for a jerk. Think about what your relationship would be like if you keep letting him do that. This is exactly why "nice guys" complain about not being able to find good women. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:02:09 AM | | ok.. i did move on.. definatly most certainly moved on.. i jst keep dwelling on it.. but thx 4 the comments everyone.. i was just curious what other ppl thought. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:08:22 AM | I hope you're not going to waste another minute on this, uh, person?
He might NOT have looked like his pictures.
He's probably not who he says he is.
He might be a "he" or not.
Might be some kid playing on the computer whilst mommy and daddy are out.
Might be an agoraphobic and will never come out from behind the keyboard.
Who knows? Please click NEXT. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 12:53:58 PM | Rl0vely...
There is one additional perspective I can bring to this question. I do work with a watch-dog group that helps to diminish internet scams and frauds. These are specificially where scammers target someone and try to establish a romantic relationship as quickly as possible thus bringing the other person into their confidence and also establishing emotional attachment. The word "con" in the expression "con-man"...(could be con-woman too) is from the word "confidence".
It could be your guy who was already talking marriage to you...was busy saying the very same thing to a whole lot of other women. He may have wanted to hook-up with you as a possible target but perhaps one of his other targets became more available and productive. So he chose to spend time and effort in that direction, thereby standing you up and putting you off.
I know this is a lot of guessimating. But I have seen this happen over and over and when I read your post, it just smacked of that to me. It's a classic m.o. for scammers and that's precisely what stood out to me in your post.
Forget him and be VERY aware in the future that this type of behaviour can easily be the efforts of someone to scam or defraud you. Live and learn. You may never exactly know what was going on with this man but I think it's safe to say that you were saved from a potentially dangerous or at the least disturbing situation.
Kind regards to all fishies...
...Barbi  | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 1:58:02 PM | Like the others have said, it could have been a whole plethora of any (negative) possibilities.
If a guy has genuine intent on meeting up, there will be no games played. I have met a few decent fish on here and can say upfront that it doesn't require much to arrange for a simple casual meet up. Even with fish from outta state -- if the honest intent is there -- trust me, it will not be a burdensome thing to plan out.
If he seems to be making it more cumbersome than it needs to be, then that's likely a red flag for other things.
Why would he message you these overly-amorous messages? .... To try to play you of course. And probably see how far he could tug you along.
Be glad you didn't meet this guy. | |
|
| |
| |
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:26:38 PM | I am going to be harsh here.
I took a look at your profile.
I see two acceptable head shots that are clearly the same person. Then I see two body shots that may not be.
The first one is a side view in a white shirt and jeans with an unrecognizable face that may or may not be wearing sunglasses. Then I see another picture of a headless bikini clad torso which is not allowed on the site and cannot be proven as yours.
Lastly I see a picture that appears to be the same person, taken on the same day, as the head shots of "you" dragging on a cigarette. I cannot conceive this being an attractive photo in anyone’s mind even if the guy smokes three packs a day.
I proceed to the "About Me" to find incoherent incomplete sentences without any capitalizations that are full of miss spellings and texting slang. The only non-generic or potentially interesting thing mentioned is "im currently writing a screenplay." Who could or would want to read it?
I don't see how any man would want to contact a woman with this profile.
I'm not trying to hurt your feeling and hope you find what you’re looking for.
I voted your image as a 7. It is a better photo than most people have including me. It could be a 10 if did your hair and had a better background.
Please take this as helpful advice. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:25:30 PM | Jimmy/James...
I read your critique of OPs profile. The only thing is...I'm just not sure what that has to do with the man's behaviour.
Are you suggesting that he wanted to have a date but then looked at her profile again and decided to not date her? But then changed his mind again and wanted to see her but decided against it once again because of her profile?
He did a lot of "flip-flopping" back and forth and I just really don't make a connection between that and OPs profile. I just don't see a connection.
Kind regards to all fishiess...
...Barbi | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:39:02 PM | You certainly have more patience than I do to reschedule cancelled dates 3-4 times?
Anyone who I have not met in person and gotten to know starts with that crap 'i'm falling for you, I want to marry you, etc...' is downright unstable or just plain too stupid to try to be a player. A waste of time. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:46:29 PM | take your pick,
there could be a number of reasons for a no-show.
it's hard to fathom why he would continue trying to set up a meet when he had no intentions of ever following through with the arrangements.
i've travelled thousands of miles to meet pofers and had them do the same to meet me. any scheduling problems can always be worked out.
he definitely sounds like a player.....
either that or a wussy.
which ever one.....
you don't need him.
remember,
where there's a will there's a way. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:06:48 PM | OMG...ok... anyone that claims or mentions love, marriage, long term WITHOUT actually meeting the person has some serious issues.
But then again...anyone claiming those things after meeting and only knowing someone a short while also (in my opinion) has issues as well.
Personally, after the first message you recieved saying anything about love...I would have  and not looked back.
I do have to agree with Barbiedawl (sorry for wrong spelling)...it does have all the traits of a scam...or con. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:13:49 PM | | He probably does not look like his pics! This website is a breeding ground for married men, or little kids that try to get phone relationship(sex) or whatever. You really have to be careful! If he keeps dropping the date I would guess it would of been one or the other! | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:08:18 PM | Sorry I left that out. The guy is more than just a jerk. He may even be dangerous.
I agree with Barbi's earlier post but fear scam and fraud are not the game. Sounds more like stalking and rape.
A serious problem with rl0vely's profile is that three of the photos are taken outside and all look to be somewhere within her apartment complex. I know what most apartments in my area look like.
This man may have identified where she lives.
He has developed an obsession with her.
She states that she does not have a car in the profile. Maybe she walks to work or stores near home. He may even be able to locate her by her cell phone.
This site does not have any photo protection to block copy, save or print of photos. Even if removed now he still has them.
If I were a woman I would REPORT THIS GUY to local police immediately. 
Better safe than sorry.
Do not post any photos with identifiable land marks. | |
|
| |
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:09:08 AM |
If I were a woman I would REPORT THIS GUY to local police immediately.
What the heck do you want her to report? "um..hello..police?..I had a date and he cancelled a couple of times and told me he thought he loved me"  Oh yes, that will go over well.
Also..if you made all these 'observations' in her profile..could you not have perhaps messaged her privately with your observations? Think about this for a minute..it will come to you...
Perhaps if you wanted to pick apart a profile...you could make a separate post and put your suggestions in there....? Generalize it ...for EVERYONE... | |
|
Phan59
|
Joined: 5/26/2009
Msg: 22 | |
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:38:43 AM | | IMO, I wouldn't be too concerned about his pic. After making plans with you then canceling, your communication with him should stop. Him saying "I'm falling for you", and all the other nonsense to someone he doesn't know...?, freaks me out too, cause IT'S WEIRD! You did the right thing. WHY? Why were you digging him? Forget about this weirdo and move on. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:24:35 AM | Well, i wouldn't stand a woman up, i wouldn't cancel a date unless it was unavoidable, something like a rotten headache that just wouldn't go or something along those lines as well as a sick relative that died, those kind of things can be acceptable for date cancellations, but i honestly refuse to play cat and mouse games, i am 27 years old, not 18.
I don't want to jump into bed right away, i just don't want to ask a girl out all the time to just get a no when its clear that she is interested....thanks, but no thanks. | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:37:29 AM | | Keep Fishing! I am not into men who attempt to play "head games"... We all want to believe in honesty .....you will find the person for you and don't waste your "thinking time" on this one....just say BYE BYE..... | |
|
| maybe he didnt look like he does in his pic?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:04:19 AM | thank u all for your thoughts.. scam artist rings entirely true.. and mr jimmyjames.. i truly had a hearty chuckle on your comments.. first of all every pic is entirely me.. i write the way i write regardless of how u feel about my sentence fragments.. i dnt hav any probs in anyway getting ppl 2 respond to my pro.. so lets not b a hater mmmkay? | |
|
Home
login 
