| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:00:55 AM | I have been out of the dating scene for a number of years as I have been focusing on other things. I guess I just have not taken the time to notice if anyone has paid attention to me outside the workplace.
I have met this guy & we seem to hit it off, it is amazing that we never crossed paths in our younger years as we seem to have frequented many of the same places! We are in a situation that I see him frequently so he has seen me at my best & at my very worst... he doesn't seem to be turned on or off by either! We have very similar interests in a variety of things!
I don't want to push this & lose a great friendship although I have joked around laying very subtle hints.
I have a very loving, caring & giving personality but in my struggle to the top, I have let physical attributes go a little to the wayside but I am on my way back to where I was previously!
Can someone tell me how I should proceed on this one?? | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:16:18 AM | Relax!
Hard to say but sounds like you may be getting a little ahead of yourself, don't put the cart in front of the horse. Relax.
As you said you have been out of the scene for a while, I think there is a natural tendency to get our hopes up easily under those circumstances. Relax.
Just take a deep breath, and be yourself. If it is unbearable then ask him point blanc where he is at.
I had to do that once with a friend, I was convinced there was something there, I was wrong. I did ask though and we got it out of the way with very little awkwardness and moved on. | |
|
OKRob
|
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 3 | |
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:29:23 AM | | I can only agree with the post above. Enjoy it and just see how things go. Sounds OK so far :) | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:34:05 AM | Hmm,, I really hate to do this, but I think I will all the same. A piece of serious advice.
I admire and respect women on their intuition when it comes to relationships, but there is one thing you guys do that KILLS things.
Quit over analyzing!!!!
God gives you one day at a time. So take a break from the analasys, enjoy what you got and quit reading so much into it.
CHeers | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:38:53 AM | | Just have Fun, if it happens cool if not then he's not the one for you. | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:40:23 AM | I'm a chick giving you advice- I was in a really crabby relationship and just jumped back in the dating scene- I met a guy on here and we both agree that we don't want each other to see anyone else- If he has seen you at your worst and is not turned off- then this guy is into you. Don't let little insecurities sabotage a potential great relationship- If I know anything about men, it's that they love a confident woman- It sounds like you're doing great in the work force- Take that confidence and apply it in the relationship- Especially if you're working on the you're physical sense- Guys really don't like stick figure women- LOL- they are confused b/c other guys think they should have that- Some guys really might be but the majority are not- They want some meat - Girl, you gotta have something to hold onto- They worship our curves - bottom line- Take the next step...
J | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:44:06 AM | | That message didn't go where I wanted it too- I agree with nightrider- We think way too much- Women are complex creature- we tend to think too much- | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:49:15 AM | | Not qualified to give advice on dating. Nevertheless, that "subtle hints" are completely wasted on men cannot be overstated. Our idea of subtle is a club with no nails in it. | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 2:41:32 PM | This guy might be too uncomfortable with advancing.
He also likely values your freindship aswell, and wouldn't want to get all sexual all of a sudden...
For men, there is only a very small window in which we feel we can advance, and if we're not great at it, we'll feel like a creep or pervert.
IMO, I always shy away from advancing because of these reasons. If I just turn up the heat all of a sudden, then I feel like a girl is innevitably going to be wierded out.
In my case, it's obsessive thought disorder, and I'm certain that I'm not the only male that gets all flustered by overthinking it and being shy. | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 3:25:22 PM | "I have been out of the dating scene for a number of years as I have been focusing on other things. I guess I just have not taken the time to notice if anyone has paid attention to me outside the workplace."
This really isnt a hard question....you either are not attractive to most guys or you are making yourself extremely unapproachable.... | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 5:53:35 PM |
I have been out of the dating scene for a number of years as I have been focusing on other things
I can so relate to this, I get so wrapped up in things I swear at times if a guy is interested he had better smack me upside the head or it will go right over.
Now OP you state you have given some hints and subtle messages my advice is wait and see which way the seed you planted grows.
I have let physical attributes go a little to the wayside but I am on my way back to where I was previously!
These are your words and sometimes we are our own worst critics... Be yourself and be content with who you are and let things happen naturally...
I have to agree we women tend to analyze things to death.. | |
|
rhodax
|
Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 12 | |
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:05:27 PM | Invite him over for some swish and cod tongues. Nothing says love more than that!
Ok, stereotyping aside (my Dad's family were newfs transplanted to Lunenburg - so I'm allowed).
Many of us men are really bad with subtle hints. Either we miss the hint entirely or we over analyze and conclude they were innocent and just teasing. If you've know him for a number of years he may be afraid of wrecking a friendship by making any moves.
I think you're going to have to take a more direct approach to get him. | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:56:29 PM | | If you have really let yourself go, he may have put you in the friend category. If he's not showing attraction towards you, he's not attracted. | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:00:10 PM | Well first of all is he attracted to you? Do you know what he values in a woman, are you those things?
Second, have you made him work for it at all? Human beings value things more if they've not come easily.
Next have you developed a degree of comfort between the two of you? (Learnt about each other/found commonalities and shared values/shared dreams/life goals/weaknesses/done stuff together?)
Now wrap this all up with appropriately escalating degrees of sexuality (touching, teasing, flirting etc.) and you will be onto a winner. Fail and face the "let's just be friends" zone.
-TC | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:19:18 PM |
I have to agree we women tend to analyze things to death..
No truer words ever spoken, SassySky. But maybe there's a reason for that. All I know is it frustrates me to the point where I'd rather join a monastery than attempt to unravel a woman's excessively overly-complicated mind.
It fast becomes a tedious chore. | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:11:04 PM | Thanks for all of the thoughts.... it has really given me something to digest!
I think the most difficult thing is that we both live in the same building & he is constantly offering to do things for me! One of the tasks that I completed... wasn't perfect, I admit but the job got done! His response was,"Why didn't you ask me, I would have done that for you!" I have always attempted things on my own ... no challenge was ever too much but this guy is always JOHNNY ON THE SPOT & wants to do things for me!
My current thought is that he really likes living here & really doesn't want to have to move if things just don't work out to avoid the constant contact! | |
|
| Please HELP!!!
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:43:15 PM | Honestly I'm a very giving person and I really want to help people - especially a girl I'm dating/would like to date. Let him help once in awhile. Independent women are very attractive, but there's a line where men realize that she's TOO independent and anytime they offer help they'll just get turned down so they stop trying to help and move on to being needed by another woman. Let it go and swallow your pride once in awhile.
...and stop thinking too much. Your vibe is all off. Get in harmony with the vibration of happiness, open mindedness... and be more laid back :) | |
|
Home
login 
