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Posted: 7/3/2009 7:16:17 PM | Ever date someone from a dating site and afterwards go back to their profile, give it a good read, and then the lightbulb comes on and you figure out what they REALLY meant?
This happened to me recently.
"I have no skeletons in my closet" Translation: "My skeleton disappeared years ago under 300 lbs of adipose tissue"
"I am silly/little girl like at times and I am a very confident, sexy, down to earth woman who can be fiesty as well." Translation: "I can be like a bull in a china shop"
"Don't waste my time ..Too many people just play games." Translation: "I'm not playing a game, I am freaking desperate and I'll do whatever it takes to get a date"
"My smile will captivate you, but it is my inner beauty and personality that will make you desire and want more and more of me. " Translation: "I sure hope you like my personality because you aren't going to like what you see on the outside, in fact you're going to be quite shocked at how much more of me there actually is"
"I will always allow the man to be the man. I enjoy being a woman way to much. =)" Translation: "When I'm finished having forcible sex with you I'm going to eat you because I'll be starving." | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 7:35:52 PM | my children are my world, they come first and mean everything to me.
translation: if i get even a minute of the day available for you from taking care of these brats i'll probably just tell you to take out the garbage and you can forget about any meaningful conversation or quality time as you are permanently on the backburner and sex to you will mean masturbation and a playboy magazine. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 7:44:48 PM | "Looking for a great attitude"
Translation: You won't get upset when you find out I'm married.
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Posted: 7/3/2009 8:11:21 PM | " I am looking to meet someone who knows what he wants in a relationship, and is willing to go for it". Translation: "I'm a girl who doesn't say no."
"~I'M NOT LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT MAN, JUST THE MAN WHOSE PERFECT FOR ME~" . Translation: "If you're not the perfect man, then message someone else otherwise you're just wasting your time"
" I am an easy going woman." Translation: "I'm emotional and I get upset very easily".
"I respond to all messages". Translation: "Don't even think about getting a response unless you're really cute and make a lot of money".
"I would describe myself as attractive, sexy, sweet.." Translation: "I don't want to tell you what anyone else might think of me".
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Posted: 7/3/2009 8:23:27 PM | Life is too short = We furk and off we go. Next!
I'm looking for an open minded women = Let's furk right now!
I'm very easy going and laid back = I can't keep my job and I'm lazy.
I'm here to meet new people = I'm furking around.
I appreciate small things in life = Looser.
Profession doesn't matter = I'm working at the warehouse.
My interests are cuddling on the couch and watching a movie = I'm couch potato.
I love nature and outdoors = I'm too cheap to pay for hotel.
I'm very good in what I'm doing and making good living = I'm looking for a Bimbo
Age and looks don't matter, the inner beauty does = I'm furking with anything that is able to move.
Etc... | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 8:24:09 PM | Steve! I was about to send you a private note but I live too far away! :(
Thanks for the laugh...I have heard similar stories from other guys.
Fortunately, most of the guys I have met have been pretty much who they say they are. Is it a female thing I wonder? I'm sure some guys stretch the truth, too, but I haven't met them.
I say BE YOURSELF. You're going to get exposed anyway!  | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 8:38:01 PM | Steve! I was about to send you a private note but I live too far away! :(
I just changed my mail settings so forum posters can message me if they want to. Thanks for pointing that out.
I love nature and outdoors = I'm too cheap to pay for hotel.
HEY! I do love nature and the outdoors! I didn't just write that on my profile because I'm cheap!. Honest! | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 9:54:01 PM | I am a quality man, I am looking for an extraordinary woman....translation/ my penis is teeny
I love a submissive woman....translation/ I am a freak and I need power in my life...hence, I also have a tiny penis | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 10:24:11 PM | | "I hate writing these things, so if you wanna learn more then just send me a message!" = If you think Im too lazy to fill out a profile, wait till you see how little effort I'll put into responding to you. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 10:39:17 PM | iloveyouhavehot body=====drunk,cant seperate words...desperate....
Just lookin for the perfect woman..are you out there???==the one at home is gonna kick me out, I need a place to live FAST!!!!
I'm a nice guy..= I do what I want, I say what I want, so that is NICE for ME!
I know how to treat a lady= BUT there is no such animal..GOTCHA!!!!
Let's talk until you feel comfortable to meet me= I'm married, just gonna mess with you.
LBiker | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 11:02:26 PM | I love to travel...
Translation: I'm stuck in the house and don't go any where
My friends would describe me as sweet, caring, and fun...
Translation: I'm a loner and don't have any friends. Therefore, I'll be a pretender.
I'm a laid back type of guy/girl
Translation: I can bore you to pieces, if I can.
I'm a fun loving individual...
Translation: I'm a psycho but I won't tell you that.
I really don't know what to write in these things...
Translation: My brain is empty and I am too much of a lazy bum to type out a proper description.
No games/drama/fake people...
Translation:I've been there and done that already. I don't need it from others.
I love to laugh...
Translation: My life is dull and there isn't enough entertainment in it.
Just trying this out...
Translation: I'm married and this is the only way that I could try to sneak past my wife.
I would describe myself as a nice guy...
Translation: I'm the biggest a$$hole there is! | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 11:09:14 PM | LMAO... Nice thread. I would like to add a few, if you don't mind:
I hate talking about myself. Translation: I have no information to give you, you are going to have to figure it out and email me and I will decide whether or not I will answer your inquiry.
Tired of meeting the wrong guy. Translation: I bang strange men and afterwards figure if they can bang me, they can bang any woman. So that makes them the wrong guy for me.
Friends and family are important to me. Translation: Good luck trying to get to know me, you are going to have to go through my gaunlet of friends and family first. | |
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Posted: 7/3/2009 11:15:12 PM | Looking for a good-hearted woman.
Translation: I am ass and need to forgiven often.
Looking for a special princess to spoil.
Translation: I cannot in anyway relate to a real adult female.
I give great massages, love cuddling.
Translation: I am a lousy lay. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 7:51:51 AM | i'm looking for a REAL man
translation: i want a guy who doesn't mind that i'm 100 pounds overweight with 5 kids but he himself is handsome and in great shape with lots of money to spend on me at the all you eat buffet.
this translation is also good for "i want someone who wants me for me and won't try to change me" | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 8:33:35 AM |
Ever date someone from a dating site and afterwards go back to their profile, give it a good read, and then the lightbulb comes on and you figure out what they REALLY meant?
The one I see the most is when the profile states:
Marital Status: Divorced
Then they come up with a lame excuse that they are actually still married but the divorce will happen soon.
Ironic eh OP. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 8:56:50 AM |
The one I see the most is when the profile states: Marital Status: Divorced
Then they come up with a lame excuse that they are actually still married but the divorce will happen soon...Ironic eh OP.
You sound bitter. Try not to be. Online dating takes time.
So what you've been on this board 10 years and haven't gotten a date...hang in there. Maybe you just need a better attitude. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 8:57:20 AM | OK, some of these comment is harsh...
Being a loser because she appreciate small things in life? I'll take that "loser"
Being a bad lover becaue she likes to cuddle? Hm..Again, I'll take that cuddler..
To cheap to play for a hotel because she likes the outdoors? Isn't that why it's called the outdoors?
Can't keep a job and lazy because she is easy going and laid back? How the heck those are a same??
I agree sometimes what I read in a profile and what's my opinion after the meeting are could be different, but some of these translations are way off..To me anyway.. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 9:11:26 AM |
Marital Status: Divorced
Then they come up with a lame excuse that they are actually still married but the divorce will happen soon.
Ironic eh OP.
At first I didn't get that...Than I did...Woohooo..Good point..
OP called him bitter..Funny, that was my first thought reading OP's post.
Also was thinking OP needs a better attitude..Or better luck..Or something...
Nah..I know, I know...I am just bitter
Have an idea tho..Have a phone conversation with her, and that you can have a better idea about what she actually means in her profile..Works for me.. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 9:47:43 AM |
Also was thinking OP needs a better attitude..Or better luck..Or something...
Nah..I know, I know...I am just bitter
Have an idea tho..Have a phone conversation with her, and that you can have a better idea about what she actually means in her profile..Works for me..
In fact I am somewhat bitter at the rampant deception on this site. I have no problem getting dates, I've had 3 long term relationships, and a good response to messages as well as enough "first contacts" to keep me busy.
What pisses me off is that there are some who are so dysfunctional and twisted, such as the individual who's profile I extracted the phrases from, that they will build a complete fantasy starting with their profile, continue it through numerous emails, texts, and phone calls, thinking..what? That they will "win the person over on the first date with their award winning personality?".
No thanks | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 10:19:08 AM | ^^^^Yeah..That's I agree with...Don't know why someone would do that.
There are many threads about it, like what is a "Few extra pound", or how do someone be so dysfunctional to the point that he/she really believes what he/she writes in a profile...
No thanks is right for me too.. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 10:33:38 AM | | deceptive enough are the folks who have long diatribes about the horrible people they've dated before. if you don't like drama why are you dragging it out and placing it as your first impression? | |
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Posted: 7/4/2009 12:29:43 PM |
deceptive enough are the folks who have long diatribes about the horrible people they've dated before. if you don't like drama why are you dragging it out and placing it as your first impression?
Who says I don't like drama?
I don't like when dysfunctional desperate overweight individuals mess with my head for a week by writing a deceptive profile, telling me lies, sending me deceptive pictures to my email and phone, then expect me to buy into it because "inside they're a wonderful person". | |
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