| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:52:06 PM | | Ok so I am very cautious about giving a guy my number on here. We usually talk for a few days before I am willing to move it to the phone. I just don't want a bunch of creepers having my number. So the last two guys I ended up meeting in person. Then it's like after we meet we talk a bit and they say they liked me thought I was a cool chick and are interested. Then out of no where they freakin disappear! What the hell ya know? I just don't understand. So I text them a bit and said something silly or pointless nothing like where ya at what ya doing type stuff. And I get NO response. So am I crazy or what the hell is going on? Why do men say all that stuff then suddenly flake? HELP PLEASE!! : ) | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:55:21 PM | I call this the:
"Well, she's kinda cute, I''ll talk to her, Yeah... Not my type."
Don't take this personally. You've done nothing wrong. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:55:29 PM | | For the same reason that this situation happens to men as well: no serious interest. I know it hurts but people usually think that by ignoring the situation it's better than confronting the person with "I'm sorry but I don't think it will work out" or "I don't feel that way about you" (takes a lot of courage to tell that to somebody else) - I've been in that situation in real life plenty of times where I see a woman, she seems interested then I never hear from her again. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:57:36 PM | | The meets haven't gone as well as they said initially. They then chickened when you contacted them again. Keep fishing there are better ones available and just be glad it didn't go on for more than a single date. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:57:38 PM | | Why can't men have the balls to just say that? I have no problem saying how I feel. What about when they do say they are interested and definitely want to go out again and blah blah blah..are they just talking out their ass? | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:58:25 PM | For the record, I looked at your profile. You will have NO trouble connecting quickly with someone. Hang in there.
GE is the future. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:59:25 PM | | Men do. You have pulled a couple boys out of the fishing pool. Relax and know you can do better. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:00:35 PM | | Do you really want to hear it? | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:01:07 PM |
Why can't men have the balls to just say that? I have no problem saying how I feel.
It's because a lot of people DO have that problem. You should be proud of the fact that you have that ability to communicate openly. For a lot of people, this is lacking either due to shyness, a genuine desire not to hurt the other person or other reasons. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:02:59 PM | | yeah because I wouldn't waste my time wondering if I am going to hear from them again. I'm a tough girl and would rather have someone be flat out honest with me even if the truth hurt then blow smoke up my ass to make me smile. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:06:59 PM | It doesn't feel so good to hear, "Look, I didn't really have fun, and I have no interest in you at all." And it sucks to watch a girl cry.
They may say they want to go out again because, at the time, they did. Then they thought it over/found someone else/whatever and moved on.
They don't call to tell you that because they don't want to hurt your feelings. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:10:13 PM | Is it me? For a moment
The stars are falling.
The heat is rising
The past is calling. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:18:39 PM | | I have to say that I agree with you lillies87..... I would rather hear, that the other person just wasn't that into me rather than go off wondering why he hasn't contacted me! I am a big girl I can handle rejection up front, not everyone is a match! | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:29:57 PM |
They may say they want to go out again because, at the time, they did. Then they thought it over/found someone else/whatever and moved on.
I agree with this quite a bit.
I've been guilty of this before...and it's also happened to me on the other side of the coin. At the time you're a "cool chick" and they're interested in getting to know you more, but that doesn't mean their world has been rocked and they can't wait to call you for the next date. More so you just weren't high enough on their priority list because when a guy really likes a girl he WILL find time to call them back (they may even be counting the minutes until they can). It's just that there probably wasn't a big spark, but at the time he was interested in seeing how much of a connection there is beyond the first meeting if the time is right. In this case, it wasn't.
No big deal. Next guy! :) | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:32:04 PM | | well thank you gonefishing85. It just pisses me off because I am a great woman and deserve a chance. I guess I should just view it as their loss not mine. Next please! : ) | |
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rhodax
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 16 | |
| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:44:49 PM |
Next please!
There's your answer in a nutshell. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:54:35 PM | It's called rejection and it's what dating is all about. It's the main feature of trying to connect with people. You have to have a very thick skin and realize that it's just a big part of trying to find someone.
Men are cowards when it comes to the possibility of hurting a woman's feelings and will never come right out and say you aren't their type. | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:08:19 PM | You've got some pretty good advice so far (ie. Saying, "Next!" is the best way to go - don't waste time/effort wondering why since it isn't worth it) but the only thing that I would add is after reviewing your profile, you had this delimiter in it:
"Age between 20 and 30"
Ok, I'm probably going to be a lightning rod for saying it, but that might be part of the issue as well. I speak from experience - when I was that age, I "thought" I had it together and knew what the world was about, but let just say I've learned a thing or two since then. (And I probably will still learn a thing or two over the next ten years ...)
The best advice (and tipping my cap to David Carradine) that I can give you is, "Patience Grasshopper ..." (And, by the way, you have stumbled onto the reason why all older men/women instantly gravitate toward relationships with younger counterparts - big kudos ...) | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:10:28 PM | A lot of people have no idea how to deal with their feelings. They are afraid to tell a girl straight up that they aren't interested, hence why they tell you that you're a cool girl but avoid you after that.
But in all honesty, you can't blame someone if their feelings don't emulate your own. And this goes for both guys and girls. It's foolish to blame someone for not liking you or wanting more. Have we not all been on the other end of the spectrum? Sure, it sucks, but don't blame them for it...
So many broken relationships go on just because someone is afraid to be honest and break it off. They feel like they owe it to the person to stay with them. The longer this goes on, the more painful the eventual breakup(or divorce in many cases) will be.
I'm not saying it's right for a guy to lead you on only to ignore you later, not at all. But I do feel that both sexes are far too defensive about being told their feelings for someone are not mutual. The next time a guy or girl is honest enough to tell you after the first, second, or third date that he/she just wants to be friends... thank them! | |
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| Is it me?
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:42:46 PM | I just wanted to write you a message and let you know that you are totally not alone. I meet people on here all the time and have gone on dates with some that just play childish games. Some even take it a step further and say that they hate games yet still play them.
I think the person that said that a lot of men are about sex is absolutely right.
A LOT of men are on here for a sexual encounter, no matter what their profile actually states.
Besides weeding out the ***holes and creeps, all we got is time on our side. Believe me we are amazing gorgeous beautiful women and we will find someone. There is someone for everyone-you know?
I hope this helped. | |
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