| Assistance please
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:29:18 AM | Hi, I've just come back to this site having used other dating websites, but immediately seem to have fallen into the same trap of not getting any responses to my messages. I wonder whether anyone would be kind enough to have a look at my profile and see if there is anything obviously wrong with it.
I am realistic to know that to have received such a low (well none) level of responses says more about me than the girls I'm messaging so maybe there is something about my profile that is giving off completely the wrong vibes.
whilst I clearly can't give any examples every message I send is personalised and specific to the person I'm sending it to, I only message local women and you'll have to take my word that I'm not sending 'sex' messages!
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Thank you. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:38:22 AM | I'm guessing you have a really interesting job, rather than an interesting jon?
The comment about looking for things to do because all your friends are too busy to come out & play anymore might be a bit offputting for some women.
Kind of implies they are second best & only required because your first choices have moved on without you.
I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant, so I'd suggest you rephrase it so it sounds like you actually want to date a woman rather than use her to fill a social void. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:41:26 AM | Thank you. Just noticed that...to be fair my jon really isn't very interesting  | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:49:10 AM | | do people think the message or profile is the most important? | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:54:56 AM | One can make up for the other, but...
If you send a strong message but have a weak profile, you could see Read Deleted.
If you have a strong profile but have a weak message, you could see Read Deleted.
It's best to have them work well together.
I've had my profile save me from what might have been lamer-than-I-intended emails, and had emails that stood on their own merits without women even reading my profile.
There's no rush here, take your time to get the best profile you can, and take your time to author the best email you can. Anything else would appear to be a poor investment of your time. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:47:53 PM | | I feel a little embarrased to be bumping this to the top of the forum again but i would really appreciate some further feedback from more people regarding my profile. I am not getting any response from my messages, which is a little disheartening, as I take time to construct them so that it is obvious that they are specific to the girls I am writing to. Any profile tips will be much appreciated. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:33:22 PM | | Hi, I'm from USA and don't know if my viewpoint is needed since you live in another country but here it is for what it's worth. I agree with the other posted reply that said you seem to be looking to find a relationship maybe to fill the social void in your life. Another thing I noticed is that you're doing alot of talking about yourself but you don't really have much to say about what you're looking for in a woman and a relationship. Just saying that you want someone who's "kind and considerate" isn't very descriptive or appealing. Just a thought from someone across the way! | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:54:22 PM | Let's get rid of the wuss factor in your profile. grin.
Picture suggestion: Delete the gay pic of you and Goofy.
About suggestions:
[Edit: Try this or "Hey gorgeous" or similar, not just "Hey!" or "Hello!"
Hello Ladies!
[Edits: Simplified sentences. Added a space before "quite a bit"
I have my own flat in Broxbourne, and a really interesting job which crosses over into my sporting interests (Spurs season ticket holder) quite a bit.
[Edits: Simplified sentences. Less wordy humor adds more "punch" to it.
I'm very lucky to have a great set of friends who I've known since Primary or before. They are all in relationships, whilst I've passed on refreshing my French or German for American or Aussie instead!
[Edits: "I am" vs "I would be", "who holds" vs "who can hold", "her" vs "their". Shorter sentences.
Whilst I like my independence I'm still hunting/looking for a kind, considerate, woman who holds her own in conversation and points of view. I love a good random conversation, too. Like who would win a fight between a lion and a crocodile (the lion!), or whether creme eggs taste better after being in the fridge overnight (Duh!).
[Edits: Turn it on her, your reader
Has romance drifted past you? I believe in the modern notion of fate - that whatever happens is supposed to happen - which must be why you are still reading ;-)
[Edits: Simplified sentences.
My life ambition is to cruise around the Hawaiian islands with enough money and someone to share it with. My other is finishing a paragraph without an exclamation mark!
[Edits: "unique","doesn't". Deleted the "apologies" for guilty pleasures and special occasions. Simplified sentences.
I have a fairly unique taste in music (doesn't everyone say that?) in that I have several guilty pleasures. If I was in a club I would be most comfortable with some 80s pop - I'm going to see Spandau Ballet live in October! Riding in my car you'll feel we are in a Reflex bar.
[Edits: Simplify]
Anyway, I'd love to hear from you if you'd like to know more.
===== end
Hope this helps. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:52:17 AM | | Thank you for your feedback, and either side of the Atlantic is fine! I have updated my profile now - any further comments would be greatly received. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:41:34 PM | | Awesome editing, Garth. It has "desirable dude/man" written all over it. Next, show it to 1 or 2 of your friend's wives - I'm sure they'll give you some well-deserved feedback. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:05:31 PM | | Thank you very much Mondo for the very detailed advice - i agree the profile comes across much better now. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:58:54 PM | | The only thing I can think of to add to your profile is a paragraph about who you're looking for. I'm told it's a mistake for us guys to describe ourselves and figure that women will match themselves up. | |
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| Assistance please
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:31:20 PM | | I have tryed a couple of times to change my user name especilly. and also my profile. How do i go about this than you so much. | |
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