| So much negativity, is there anything positive?
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:43:41 AM | I returned to these forums a few days ago after being away for about a year. Doesn’t seem like much has changed, the topics are all the same, the majority of the people seem to be different.
Although these forums serve as a great way to share experiences and a place to share advice. Fact remains that there will always be rants, most of which of dead beat parents (dads & moms alike). All parents (full, part time and step parents) feel underappreciated when it comes to their ex’s or the ex’s of their SO’s, some feel like they are left doing the bulk of the child raising, while some feel they could and would like to do more.
In the hopes that this doesn’t turn into the “here’s all the bad things I don’t like about the ex” thread. Say one thing you don’t like or can’t see eye to eye on, but then say anything good/positive you can about the ex in your life…
Here goes…
The thing that bugs me the most is, my SO’s ex has the children in so many extra curricular activities that not enough emphasis is put on the kids academic skills and school work and I feel like attention is only given in that area when the children are here.
The positives are:
- We are working on the above the next school year, and the kids will have less activities, where we will have more support from her with the kids' school work
- She has been very supportive of our move closer to the kids
- She has made a very good effort in helping us build a united family front between us 3 adults for the kids
- The kids are able to share birthdays with both parents and myself at the same time without feeling awkward (and she took the initiative to make this happen!)
- With her initiative, we see the kids everyday before school and the kids spend quite a bit of weekends and weekdays with us.
- She loves the kids unconditionally like any parent should, which is why all the above has happened and as a result we have a couple of pretty well balanced kids. | |
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| So much negativity, is there anything positive?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:00:26 AM | Not done, you know how it goes in this pond.....positive threads simply do not last as long, nor do they get as many "hits" or "responses" as those with negativity in them.
I'll play along...
Positive about my ex
1. He is intelligent.
Negative about my ex
1. He has a caveman mentality where women are concerned. | |
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| So much negativity, is there anything positive?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:55:31 PM | Positive about ex #1: He lives in another state so I don't have to deal with him much.
Negative about ex #1: He won't hold a job and he does not put his kids (four kids w/three babies' mamas) anywhere near the top of his list of priorities.
Positive about ex #2: Love him with all my heart and has sooooooooooo much potential to be a great man in life.
Negative about ex #2: He will never recognize his potential because he is a crack addict. | |
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| So much negativity, is there anything positive?
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:21:31 PM | Negatives
hes a cheat and a liar and makes a cr*p partner/husband/boyfriend but at least Ive learnt my lesson and know what to look for next time
Positives
He is the best father I know of. He has his kids every other weekend (he works the other weekends) and one night in the week without fail and when he has them he takes them places, he feeds them fruit and veg not rubbish. He buys them clothes and shoes and pays for out of school activities. All of this was worked out amicably without need for courts or solicitors. He does more for his kids than some parents I know of that live with their children. He also has a daughter from prev relationship who lives with him full time. | |
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| So much negativity, is there anything positive?
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:32:47 PM | rockondon... you're a riot!! That was the funniest thing I red on this forum in the past 3 days!!
Sassy that's great!!
love2be - Drugs ruin a person's life, I am sad with you girl :( | |
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| So much negativity, is there anything positive?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:48:32 PM | positive about ex #1- he loves his kids
negative about ex #1 - choose a piece of tail over his kids that he now sees twice a year
positive ex #2 - he never says bad things about me in the forums, since he knows I will read his posts
negative ex#2 - I can't say much bad about him cuz he reads my posts :( | |
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| So much negativity, is there anything positive?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:29:12 PM | Negatives: He doesn't spend enough time with his kids and still makes horrible, stupid comments.
Positives: My stepson's mother and I are extremely close and I wasn't kicked out of his family when we split, making it much easier for my kids to stay connected to their dad's side of the family.
OP, congrats on the positively evolving relationship. Sometimes a tightwire act but it sounds like you are heading in the right direction and with continued good communication, you will be one of those very kewl examples of the somewhat bizarre extended families most of us are now a part of. | |
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| So much negativity, is there anything positive?
Posted: 7/6/2009 1:58:45 PM | Negative: I wish he would do something with his life already and then pay up once in a while.
Positive: 1)He chose me and I have and continue to do something with my life so that our daughter can enjoy a good full life. 2) He loves her and spends time with her. I know that can be a rare thing these days. | |
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