| Please be brutally honest and specific
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:10:41 AM | Hi All,
I am not sure what to write anymore. If you could review my profile and be specific and brutally honest. I am not sure how to create a multidimensional profile on "paper". What is key to writing a good profile. I can't be more honest or sincere I think.. perhaps I am missing something here!
Thanks Adrienne | |
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| Please be brutally honest and specific
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:07:40 PM | Hi Adrienne,
My initial impression is that the sheer length of your profile is slightly overwhelming. If I was to open your profile I would think wow that's too much to read right now, I'll come back later once I've looked at a few more. It's always tempting to write a lot about yourself, particularly if your creative juices are flowing as you are typing but sometimes less is more and you could save a lot of the information you have given for mail exchanges which i'm sure you will be involved in.
Personally, I would use the second picture of you as your primary photo as you look a lot younger in it and more attractve to us men, who are predominantly visually aroused! Hope this helps you. Gareth. | |
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| Please be brutally honest and specific
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:39:11 PM | Overall I think this is a great profile. Your writing style is engaging, and I love the Santa story. (He gave you very good advice!).
One thing you could improve on:
Pictures - the most effective main picture is a good close-up of your face. I think if you cropped your current pic #2 it would make a very good main picture. You have a nice expression and the lighting is quite good.
Aside from that, try to get more variety in your pictures. Three of your current four have you leaning forward and tilting your face up. Try adding in at least one full body shot where you are standing straight up. And ideally, a few shots of you doing different things - perhaps something from your interest list. Maybe something less casual. I think it's always good to have at least one picture that's taken outdoors - natural light can be more flattering, as long as you're aware of where the sun is and don't have shadow issues. | |
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| Please be brutally honest and specific
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:31:36 PM | Good writing, but include a blank line after each paragraph for readability.
Move your first paragraph, including the "This is what I know..." to the end, i.e. before "Cheers to all ..."
Move the sentence "This is such a wonderful" to the end of it's paragraph. Then make that paragraph your first. It's more you and is a good intro. | |
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