| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:53:16 AM | Girls, I wonder if you could answer something for me as I am curious:
I often read in these forums that girls receive a lot of sex related messages and also a lot of short pointless ones i.e. "Wanna chat?" etc. What percentage of mails that you receive do you a) read and b) are nice messages that you would want to respond to?
Additionally, I would be interested to know if there are any repetitive phrases that have you rushing for the "Next" button? | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:05:12 AM | I admit I don't read every message I get. I look at the profile before I read the message. If the guy is the complete opposite of what I'm looking for, has nothing significant (or nothing at all) written about himself in his profile, or I'm just plain not attracted to him, I just delete the message.
Of the ones I do read, I delete all the one sentence ones - "wanna chat?" "what's up?" or worst and most bewildering of all the ones that say simply "Hi" with nothing else.
I also delete every message that is related to sex.
All the messages I've responded to have been from guys who had something intelligent or unusual and different to say. I always answer anyone who surprises me. | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:08:52 AM | Examples of some I've had are:
'hi'
' '
'your fit'
'you're fit'
'want sum fun'
'I want to lift up your skirt and..(sorry..I won't post the rest of that one)'
'wanna chat'
'my msn is xxxxxx'
'call me xxxxx xxxxxx'
These are the majority of messages I get.
I'd say these are two thirds and a third are polite ones.
I read and reply politely to all messages | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:29:44 AM | Answer to a).....I take a quick glance at all of my emails. If it begins with the guy telling about himself, I'm on the "Next" button. I can read that stuff on his profile.
Some repetitive phrases that get the quick "Delete" are:
Hey beautiful.
What's up gorgeous?
You seem nice, I'd like to get to know you.
We have a lot in common, want to chat?
I was impressed with your profile and would like to get to know you.
This stuff feels like spam. I don't think these people have read my profile. If you were impressed with my profile.....tell me what it was that impressed you.....otherwise, it's just a generic statement.
Answer to b)....The best messages mention something or ask a specific question about something in my profile. That tells me they at least read a portion of it.
Bottom line guys....no more generic stuff! | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 12:43:10 PM | I often wonder just how some of the messages can be soooooo
generic and spamlike...as in:
-Hi
-Wanna chat?
-ur hawt, show me more.
-I like ur profile, tell me more.
-Nice weather.
-Sup?
and yet a man can throw in the below sentence after sending one of the above...
"I'm like no one you'll ever meet."
Really? Ahem, and let's keep it that way.
Oh, I forgot one........
-"You like to go 4 wheeling in the mud?
Of course I live in West Podunk BFE and that's what's considered conversation here.
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:05:18 PM | I tend to read all messages I receive, unless the sender has been crass enough to include a sexually themed headline. That being said, if the message is anywhere along the lines of sexually suggestive, I delete it.
I have to say that the one-liners, like "hey" or "what's up" do get old fast. I'm far more likely to respond to someone who has something interesting or different to say. (But to be fair, I have been guilty of this myself!)
The best messages I've received have read like books. One guy I had the pleasure of talking to would send messages longer than some essays I've written for my university courses! Something that keeps me engaged, and lets me know you're capable of at least attempting to maintain some flow is your best bet to catch my attention. | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:06:07 PM | Ok so don't talk about sex, obvious. Now I din't know I shouldn't talk about me, you say you can get that in my profile, hmm ok. Don't talk about you, thats in your profile, ahh sure. So whats left? Hobbies, o no thats up there too. Express interest, oh you said that was generic to. I guess that only leaves one thing.
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:06:18 PM | I guess i'm different from most girls. I don't particularly care what a persons messages me if I find their profile interesting enough and if I find them at least somewhat attractive.
I'm not going to respond to any messages that suggest anything sexual but i will reply to a simple message that just says hi my name is ____ how r u?
i'm not sure why people here feel that a first message should be long or catchy or whatever because in real life when you first meet a person the most they say to you is Hi my name is____ how are you? | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 1:20:45 PM | hehe,
a)100% I read all messages that I get, sometimes they're funny because the guy has a sense of humour, sometimes they're funny because some of the things they say tickle my laugh-muscles. Of course, a first e-mail saying, 'you want a relationship, like right now?' is very nice, but.., b) I wouldn't respond to it simply because that's something you can't take seriously. Percentage of messages I don't respond to, 99%
One hint, it's always nice if someone who initiates the contact states why he decided to contact you. Did some of the listed interests correspond with his own? Was he awestruck by your áhem' beautiful face? anything that implies anything else than, this is a standard message I send it out to dozens of women a day, and I hope one of them will respond to it.
be specific, repetitive phrases like: I like your profile (what did you like about it) We have a lot in common (what do we have in common) This site maybe called plenty of fish, but it's not like real fishing you know  different women respond to different types of bait.
(hey gorgeous, hey beautiful, wanna date?, let's get to know eachother, I have a car, here's my msn, my yahoo, my number at home, at work and the digits to my faxmachine, let's get together sometimes and we'll see what happens)
Good luck 
K!k.  | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:31:54 PM | I think a good way to get someone to respond is to look over their profile and make sure you are in the range of what they are looking for if they state that. Mention something from their profile and ask a question about one of their interests. I respond to messages that seem directed to me and not generic cut & paste emails.
If the person is not someone I'm interested in, I either don't respond or give a polite reason why I'm not interested. Some come back with arguments or justifications which is pointless and annoying. | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:56:21 PM | I broke it down in another thread, so I'll just c&p it here.
90% of the ones I do get simply say something inane like, "Hi. My name is XXX. Let's chat." That's it.
Of the rest of the 10%, at least half of those are dudes with some serious issues.
So now out of the 5% that might be somewhat normal and interesting, over half of those live across the country from me.
That leaves 2% of the messages I get being viable dating options. That doesn't mean that out of that 2% I am going to find them interesting, attractive or viable relationship material.
On the flip side, 100% of the messages I have sent have either led to a very nice response that basically says they don't reciprocate my interest, no response or the start of a potential friendship that will never lead to a relationship.
The only thing that makes me auto hit the back button (or next button) on an otherwise nice email will be if they use honey, sweetheart, sexy, really any term of endearment. | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:33:25 PM | You really have to ask yourself, 2 questions:
What is your intent?
What would catch your interest if you put yourself in this girls position?
If your intent is to get laid, they will see through it. Go pick up chicks in bars, get laid enough so it is not your intent.
My intent is to always see if they have a sense of humor like me, if we can get silly stupid in a public place enough to embarrass both of us, then THAT is my type of girl.
Empathy.
Online dating just plain sucks for women, a picture and a small essay is great for guys, because we are visual, we are attracted by what looks good to us, not our fault we are designed that way. Women, find other things attractive, and none of these things present them self easily on a profile, so they literally have to weed many men out using the pic and essay, and these guys could be soul mates, but they just didn't happen to take a good pic that day. Fortunately for the ladies, there are 10 times as many men here as women, so they can weed out 9 possible soul mates by mistake and still find "the one".
These ladies are bombarded by idiots, married guys, sex fiends, and perverts... think about this the next time you message one.
Easiest thing I have found is if you see a profile, study it a moment, ask yourself, "Why, other than her looks is she attractive to me?" If I have no answer, I pass her up, if I have an answer, that is the basis of my note to her. | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:12:21 PM |
This site maybe called plenty of fish, but it's not like real fishing you know different women respond to different types of bait.
I beg to differ, different fish take different bait its not like every fish will go for a prawn on the end of a hook | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:08:48 PM | hehehe, busted! oK, I admit it, I know nothing about fishing  | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:00:25 PM | | Out of every ten messages I get, about 6 are generic "hi I think we'd get along great, I like camping and hockey and music, if you want to know more ask" messages. Some of those 6 at least have decent spelling, but they're just boring. Of the remaining 4, 3 of them will be pretty okay - they'll reference things in my profile, start an okay conversation, but for some reason or another they just don't appeal to me that much. 1 out of the 10 will really catch my eye, and that's the person I usually wind up meeting. | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:03:48 PM | For every 50 lousy messages I get 1 halfway decent one. I've made received like 5 good message on here in a year.
"You're beautiful" is way overused. And honestly has lost its value completely. Overuse has cheapened it. Why? Because they say this to every woman they contact... | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:11:03 PM | | If the guy doesn't know how to spell, then that's a major turn off for me - it tells me a lot about him. Be nice (not crude), be interesting, mention what you may have in common with the lady you're talking to, and please, don't be pushy. | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:18:49 PM | | I reply in the same tone as the email I recieved, you give me a one liner, I will give it back................... | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:53:43 PM |
What percentage of mails that you receive do you a) read and b) are nice messages that you would want to respond to?
I get several emails a day and I do read all of them, but don't reply to all. The "nice messages that you would want to respond to" are few and far between online.
Additionally, I would be interested to know if there are any repetitive phrases that have you rushing for the "Next" button?
Yes and this one is so annoying: "I loved your profile" but no clarification as to what they actually supposedly loved about it. A smarter man would follow up that sentence with something they actually did love on the profile, but alas, it's almost always the first sentence in a copy/paste form letter.  | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:47:28 AM | I read all messages, and reply to all of them unless:
no photo (states on my profile I won't reply)
its a /23 word sentence "want to chat", "hi sweetie", etc.
its sleazy or bizarre
I've made it clear its not going any further and the person keeps writing | |
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| 'Quality' of messages?
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:24:32 AM |
For every 50 lousy messages I get 1 halfway decent one.
I will send you my icebreaker sometime, so you can have better numbers. | |
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