| Separated?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:30:51 PM | Will posters share their experience of guys who claim they are separated, please?
Someone who seemed trustworthy has recently said that they share a house with their wife 50% of the time. She is alcoholic. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:38:34 PM | And this someone who was deemed as trustworthy on how Long an acquaintance?
Knock it on the head lesson learned and move on.... same sepal as my wife doesn't understand me we are only together for the sake of the kids......
Chalk it up to experience and walk away..... | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:40:47 PM | | I have once shared with an ex for 6 months after we (amicably) split. It was expedient. Not saying blokes are always on the level, but it can and does happen. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:41:43 PM | | He says that he has been in a two year relationship with someone who is fuly aware of his circumstances and accepted them. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/4/2009 5:52:32 PM | It has been an email relationship so far and I only asked about the 'separation' recently.
Perhaps that should have been my first question. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:37:30 PM | Walk away... from personal experience I would not get involved with anyone until they were physically living seperately from their previous partner and mentally had moved on; I'm sure many people on POF have experienced having to carry on sharing a house with someone from whom they had 'seperated' (often due to financial circumstances) but they are not in the right place to date until they're under a different roof from their ex.
Whilst your feelings are your own, walk away..... | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:33:11 PM | I'll second what glider girl says. I've been there and done it. For it to work you have to have 100% trust in him, and he has to be 100% moved on from her.
I'd not even attempt a relationship whilst they lived with an ex now based on me living with an ex and the partner of the time still having close contact with an ex possibly living with an ex too, I never did find out.
What are the reasons for him living with the ex? | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:54:57 PM | | I am with everyone else,the guy is very much still married. Funny how there is always a problem with the wife, she is alcoholic, they live seperate lives but stay together for the sake of the children, he wants to leave but cant as she is too dependent on him etc. Shall we continue with more excuses? | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:00:34 AM | I dated someone for a few months, the first couple he lived with his ex and child. At first it was no big deal, I wasn't looking for anything serious anyway, but it did annoy me that he wouldn't stay overnight. He would leave at 3am cos he thought it was disrespectful to his ex. Probably rightly so, but it just seemed like he was a little boy.
They then got their own homes, quite a distance apart, and he spent Saturday to Monday living with her and their child. I'm sure it was practical, but it was too weird for me. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:15:13 AM | The way I've always viewed it is that you are either very single or you are very NOT !!
I'm not sure how this womans alcoholism figures in the question .........unless this bloke is seeking justification for his actions?? | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:26:00 AM |
He says that he has been in a two year relationship with someone who is fuly aware of his circumstances and accepted them.
If I'm reading this right, this 2 year relationship was with someone before you?
In which case, his situation has been like this for a considerable amount of time and isn't likely to change any time soon?
Telling you that another woman was ok with it is just his way of trying to make you feel like you're the one being unreasonable.
I'd run a mile, cos not only does he sound like a liar and a cheat but a bit of a manipulator too and, from personal experience, these flaws in the beginning can lead to much worse later on.
I dated someone for a few months, the first couple he lived with his ex and child. At first it was no big deal, I wasn't looking for anything serious anyway, but it did annoy me that he wouldn't stay overnight. He would leave at 3am cos he thought it was disrespectful to his ex. Probably rightly so, but it just seemed like he was a little boy.
Sorry, but you are seriously naive if you believe that claptrap! Seemed like a little boy? Seemed like a cheat more like! | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:32:47 AM | Be thankful you haven't met him yet and that there's no 'actual' relationship there.
That situation is definitely not one I'd venture into.
As others have said he's either single or not single and it does sound like the situation has been going on for a while.
He's bound to find someone else who would be 'happy' with his situation - I'm curious as to why his 2 year relationship broke up.. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:38:20 AM | Shared a house with my ex for 6 months it helped that he worked away but during that time neither of us were actively seeking to meet people. It was still all very stressful and not an experience I would want to go through again.
Seperated and sharing a house usually means they are married and cake and eat comes to mind that has been my experience. Depends on the person but I would be cautious. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:56:32 AM | {He says that he has been in a two year relationship with someone who is fuly aware of his circumstances and accepted them.}
It's possible, I know someone who has put up with it for 11 years. Mon to Fri he's with her, but at the week-end he goes back to his wife and children. He stays with her while he's working in Edinburgh as far as I know, but goes back to Dumfries and his wife at the week-end. I wouldn't put up with it, it bugged me that a fellow that I went out with had been seperated 3 yrs when I met him, 9 mths later he still wasn't even contemplating divorce, but they didn't live together, never had really been a couple according to him. | |
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HenXX
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Joined: 6/16/2009
Msg: 15 | |
| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:07:46 AM | | I lived with my ex husband for a years after deciding to split.Out of respect for him,I would not date until I was totally out of the house.If he has no respect for his wife,I doubt very much he will have respect for you. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:20:28 PM |
Someone who seemed trustworthy has recently said that they share a house with their wife 50% of the time.
It might be the only way they can spend time with their kids...............I cannot see what is 'untrustworthy' about their claim to be 'separated'.. | |
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| Separated?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:56:08 PM | | i dont understand this seperated word. why not just go the whole hog and get divorced | |
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