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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:25:00 PM | Ok, so I have turned 27 , and again I am single. So I have put together a list of the attributes I'm now looking for. (I'm sure I'll add to as time goes on) I want to know if this is too much to expect from 1 person.
THE FOLLOWING IS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER.
......He has a great sense of humour
.... Enjoys staying in luxury (not camping all the time)
.....always puts me first
.....Will kill the spiders and other creepy crawlies I ask him to.
.....He will have to be fanyastic in bed
....Someone who challenges me to be my best,
.....he pushes me to try new things and encourages me to do the things that make me happy
…he will not cheat on me.
......He can fix things around the house.
. …won’t put others down to make himself feel better.
. …will treat everyone with respect.
. …will have a job.
. …will not smoke pot or do any other drugs
. …will talk when the need arises versus trying to put it off until later.
. …will not judge me for watching bad TV.
. …will not be jealous of my gay best friends.
. …will call and or text.
. …will be a tall brunet
. …will be emotionally mature, available, and evolved.
. …will not wear a mobile phone holster.
. …will know how to manage his money.
. …will not be vain.
. …will ask me how I’m doing and how my day was and actually care.
. …will be content sometimes to spend the whole day in bed watching movies and eating takeout.
. …will compliment me every now and then, especially when I’ve made an effort to look nice for a night out.
. …will not be an alcoholic.
. …will have goals, dreams, and the drive to achieve them.
. …will understand that ‘No’ means ‘No.’
. …will know how to do his own laundry.
. …will text or call just to say ‘Hi.’
. …will not live across the country.
.. …will be interested in travel.
. …will have read a book since high school.
. …will not snore…much.
.....will love to spoon, and be the big spoon
. …will tell the truth.
. …will be open-minded and non-judgmental of others.
. …will put as much effort forth to find out about my day as I did about his.
. …will be able to / learn how to communicate like an adult.
. …will actually enjoying spending time with me.
. …will be crazy about me.
. …will not make me feel dumb or childish.
. …will appreciate the art of foreplay.
. …will not try to teach me when I didn’t ask to be taught.
. …will want to go to sleep at night with me, and wake up beside me in the mornings, not on the couch.
. …will be willing try different things and positions with sex.
. …will appreciate my efforts to try new things.
. …will talk to me when something bothers him.
. …will love me for me—faults, imperfections and all—and love me all the more for them.
. …will continually surprise me.
. …will lovingly accept my neurosis.
. …will have the ‘we’ team mentality.
. …will stay with me through joy and pain.
. …will have a backbone in the relationship and not be afraid to tell me ‘no.’
. …will be a great kisser.
. …will have a great sense of humour, but know when to be serious.
. …will be more passionate in random moments.
.....will kiss me on the neck – like when I’m doing the dishes
. …will know who he is as a person and be honest about that.
. …will think I’m HOT, not just cute.
. …will treat me as well as my friends do.
. …will be able to laugh at himself.
. …will have a regular sized temper.
. …will kiss me passionately every once and a while.
. …will give me cuddles.
. …will not have a fixation with his ex.
. …will not make me feel like I’m only second best / he’s second choice.
. …will be able to think more than two day in the future.
. …will not go to bed at 9:30 pm.
.…will want a family.
......will pull he’s weight with the children and give me at least one day off a week. (when they come)
. …will know what a commitment is and follow up that knowledge with actions that support it.
. …will understand that relationships aren’t all perfect, and that sometimes fighting can resolve difficult issues.
. …will like going out on a week night sometimes, rather than just watching TV.
. …will be responsible with money.
. …will get more satisfaction than dissatisfaction from his job.
…will talk dirty.
..... will make a date night once a week
. …will be confident in himself, but not egotistical.
. …won’t have an extensive and publicly known porn collection.
. …will trust me.
. …will be more interested in sex because he wants to be with me, not because it’s sex and he just wants it.
. …will take out the trash and happily do the dishes.
. ...will not take himself so seriously.
. ...will not beat a dead horse of a conversation when we disagree, and try to prove he is right
. ...will not be selfish with his love when things don’t go his way.
. ...will say he’s open minded and actually mean it
. …won’t judge me by my past relationships.
. …will not remind me of how hot girls are that are the complete opposite of me.
. …will have already installed the filter that lets him know when not to say inappropriate, offensive things in front of me.
. …will love that I have such a big heart.
. …will be smart but not snide.
. …will not have friends of the opposite sex who aren’t just friends.
. …will love that I’m independent.
. …will be okay with little displays of affection such as holding hands.
. …will not be in trouble with the law.
. …will love to go down on me.
. . . will encourage time with my friends and girls nights out
. …will not spend engagement-ring money on a pool table for he’s shed.
. …will NOT be a manorexic gym fanatic.
. …will stand up for me if someone unexpectedly attacks me, verbally or otherwise, and ask questions later.
..... will surprise me with the small gestures, even when it's not a special occasion, but not frequently enough that these surprises are expected.
.... He'll survive "Being Killed" in a computer game, when I want to get his attention, and won't blame me when he meets his spectacularly bloody end.
..... He notices when I get my hair done, and doesn't tell me that I look like my mum now.
..... He fights for the underdog.
..... He's cute
..... He's not a worry wart.
.... He's not lazy.
.....He treats his mum right.
.. . after months and years of being together, he’ll still think of kind gestures, gifts, and fun dates, as so to not let things run stale.
.... He’ll talk to me, about anything, for a solid minimum 5 minutes a day, even when away from me.
.... Sometimes, he'll stay up chatting, for hours, and then let me sleep in the morning to catch up on lost sleep.
..... He has a small jealous streak, to let me know he cares, but doesn't have a possessive personality.
.... He'll accept me for all my quirks, loving the cute ones that define me as who I am, and forgiving the ones that aren't so cute like... "Hun, I bought my 3000th pair of shoes today,"
..... He will always support me in any conflicts I have.
.... He will be my voice of reason.
.... He will call me Beautiful
.... Has the nerve to be honest with me, even when the answer to the question I asked, is going to hurt.
.... If something is troubling him, he'll tell me the whole situation, and ask for my advice, because he values my opinions.
..... When I want to take Dance Lessons, he agrees to join me, as a dance partner, except for pole dancing, he will only agree to be there to watch and erect the pole at home
.... He will give me the moral support I need, letting me know that I can achieve anything that I put my mind to.
..... He will realise that the key to a girl’s heart, is not jewellery, but him having a healthy relationship with her best friends. But jewellery helps.
.... He is mature enough to be able to realize, that he does have faults. But for me, he tries to be a better man.
.... He will learn from his Mistakes.
.....When he sees that I’m pissed off, or upset about something, he first asks ‘you are Ok?’ And then asks if ‘you want’ to tell him what's wrong.
. . .he brings out the best in me
......he respects my opinion
..... shows excitement over my accomplishments
...... he’s stable (emotionally and financially)
...... he is not afraid to show emotions
...... I always feel comfortable with him
...... he has self control some times for the both of us.
..... will give equally to the relationship
......will never threaten me
......he’ll be my best friend
..... he will always proudly introduce me
.... Puts the Toilet Seat DOWN, and cleans the whole toilet, without being asked once a week.
...He makes me feel like the Perfect Girlfriend. | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:30:17 PM | | Yea that may be a little over the top, I couldn't even finish reading it my eyes went cross eyed. But you can make any demands you want, just remember that if there are men that meet everyone of you demands, there are going to be a lot of women attracted to them. So will you meet all of the things on their list? | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:34:09 PM | can you guarentee you'll be all that and more?.....your asking for the perfect guy....and for him to be perfect all the time.
while every guy hopes he can be that...........none i know of will promise it......how about just asking a guy to love you as much as you'll love him?
i'm afraid this list...which is gonna show up on your profile........is gonna scare more guys away than it attracts.
i wish you nothing but the best.............but your asking for the world and not really promising anything in return | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:35:12 PM | Wow, and those are dealbreakers?
Either way, your list is your list.. but here's a question for you. If you do find someone that fits those criteria, what do you have to offer?
I think you have a better chance hiring a scientist to create you a robot who provides everything on that list 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:39:18 PM | This is a joke right?
And ya, like Thebestbeancounter asked - what do you bring to the table? It better be at least as long a list.
EDIT
Lol....just noticed this one in there:
…will have a backbone in the relationship and not be afraid to tell me ‘no.’ | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:43:11 PM | Are you serious? I didn't even have the patience to read all that...
What you need to do is select four or five absolute prerequisites, and stick by them. Then have a different list for your preferences.
Nobody on this planet - or any other - is going to be able to meet every single one of your hundred or so listed items, but there are surely men out there who can meet all of your four or five most important attributes, and a good percentage of the others as well.
You're either being less-than-serious with this post, or you are incredibly, insanely picky. If it's the latter, I don't know how you've ever found someone "good enough" to have a relationship with in the first place. | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:45:10 PM | I don't know how to say it delicately, so I will be direct ...
I've reviewed your profile. I think it may be a little too much to ask. edit: Now, if you were Meghan Fox, this list *might* be realistic ...
Now that being said, if those are truly deal-breakers, then hold firm. You'll regret it if you ever settle. However, it might be in your best interest to think over the list and do some editing.
Remember that guys are a subset of these things called people, and they come with blessings and faults, ....
The best of luck to you in your search. | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:46:17 PM | will love me for me—faults, imperfections and all—and love me all the more for them.
Wow......
You expect (I'm reading it as require) a guy to be perfect and not only accept that you are not, but love you more for it?
I suggest you get a pet, because you are GOING to die alone.
How about a shorter list? Let me help......
Has a decent job
No substance abuse problems
Will not physically hurt you
Will not cheat
Enjoys things you enjoy
Oh and this honestly pisses me off when women complain about this.....
Puts the Toilet Seat DOWN, and cleans the whole toilet, without being asked once a week.
You are a grown freaking woman. If I (as in a man) am required to put it up every time I need to go to the bathroom then you are more than capable of putting it down........ If it really annoys you then try making it a habit of putting it up whenever your done! Then you will have some leg to stand on. | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:50:27 PM |
My list, is it too much to ask?
IMO yes. Because you aren't asking why he has those attributes. Or what they mean to him. Nor if they are consistent or temporary.
I.E. you say "......He has a great sense of humour"
Why is that? Is it a defense mechanism? Or does he want to entertain you? Are you looking to be entertained? Do you want to use someone for your entertainment?
Do you want a guy that can't really be himself and puts up a wall of humor? Are you okay with that as long as he's paying you in entertainment?
How can you tell when dating if his sense of humor is natural to him, or forced to get something out of you, or forced to get you to see him a certain way?
If you create shortcuts such as "has a great sense of humor" then you do yourself a disservice and set yoursef up for trouble IMO.
I.E. you say "..He makes me feel like the Perfect Girlfriend."
What if he thinks he is making you feel like the Perfect Girlfriend according to his definition of Perfect and Girlfriend and how he is interpreting how you feel, and you disagree?
Are you going to let him know what you think you should feel like if you felt like a perfect girlfriend so he can determine how much more (or less) effort he needs to put into it?
I want to know if this is too much to expect from 1 person.
Yes. Because most of your list is subjective to you, not them. So you are looking to fulfill your idea of who they should be rather than trying to determine who they are.
Is this a serious post? It seems crazy... | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:56:12 PM | | These sorts of grocery wish lists are exercises in futility. Do you suppose a man is going to read that list and think, "Oh, I don't fit #34. Guess I'll move on." | |
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Bluez
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Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 17 | |
| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:02:37 PM | Darn it... I met all that criteria and then I saw the pic of the weiner dog... I just can't be with someone who has a weiner dog.
Back to the drawing board, I guess
Bluez | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:03:20 PM | I could not read them all but I don't have to.
IF IN FACT THESE ARE SERIOUS REQUESTS, I can see why you have been on this site since 1/24/2007.
I don't think you will EVER find anyone to fill ALL of those requirements. Nor would one want to even attempt half of them.
Go to church if you want to find that man, I call HIM GOD! | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:12:08 PM | Yikes, OP, it's just too much, period.
I think that you need to re-evaluate what is really important to you, as in
the core characteristics in someone who you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. Not a laundry list of 'wants'. JMO. | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:13:26 PM | I must say, have a good time with that guy in your head, because he may be the only one that pleases you.  | |
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| My list, is it too much to ask?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:14:50 PM | Lots of redundancy, here's my cliff notes version:
Someone who loves you and wants the best for you, is mature, responsible and trustworthy that you can make future plans with.
There, just one sentence......I like keeping it simple. 
No need to make the men's eyes bleed.
Oh, also where's the list for you? | |
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