| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:25:25 PM | My best friend recently met this women, she is 38, has 4 kids, some of which are as old as me (24) he is 26. Things have gone real fast, and now a month later shes moved in with him, as is her 15 year old son.
My first question is what you ladies think of this? What do you think she is looking for?
I want my friend to be happy, and he really seems to like her.
But I will tell you this a trashy women. He met her by as he puts it “stealing” her from a biker. I don’t know if I am putting this the right way but she is one of those women that generally is property to a member of the biker gang, and I guess she is not anymore.
My second question is in your ladies option is there any way I could be a little more civil to her, maybe make it so the 3 of us get along.
She won’t talk to me, and she keeps pressuring my friend to not talk to me anymore. For example I came over the other night and I had a cut on my lip. She decided that it must be from drug use, and proceeded to take my friend onto the patio for an hour and try to convince him to kick me out.
I have been nothing but nice to her, I even got her a job interview, because was living pretty far away before the move, and quit her job to come down this way. She is a Mexican immigrant, so it is harder for her to find work.
I think she is threatened by me somehow. She won’t get more then a few feet away from my friend when I am around, won’t even let us go into a store for 5 min,
And if he and I start to talk for more then a minute or two, she will start to hang on him, and cuddle up until she gets his attention. I mean my friend responds, it’s not all her fault
So what are your thoughts? Is there any way I could show this women that I want to be on her side. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:28:14 PM | | Nope, sorry to be blunt, but all you can do is be there for your friend.And buy him condoms. Cause he is probably going to get an ass screwing he won't forget. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:31:02 PM | | Your friend's a fool if he lets her talk about you like that. And she's probably using him. Why don't you tell him what you think? I know that's not what you asked but.. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:51:12 PM | You may want to stop referring to her as 'trashy' if you want to get along with her. Just a thought.
I suggest you butt out of your buddies business. If your hanging around all the time, and going over to to get nursed for cut lips, then I would think you would be pissing a lot of women off. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:55:01 PM | Break and Run. Dude. Your friend has a family now. A biker family. If you are not a biker, then you are not part of the family, so you are low man on the totem pole.
Break and Run. She has a new sponsor. Your friend only wants easy sex, he obviously is not thinking about biker payback or the care and feeding of 4 kids. If you hang around, soon, he will be begging you for money, to fix things the kids broke, or to hide from her when she in on the rampage. She is a succubus, and he is dead to you now. It's gonna get worse. Run now.
Run, but Leave and Open Door for your Friend. If he manages to break free of this woman and come to his senses, cut him some slack and be a friend when he calls. IF he breaks free -- NOT IF he is a stranger in his own home surrounded by people he doesn't know. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:55:17 PM | Honest opinion? .... Based on what you wrote here, sounds like your friend has been pu55y-whooped. 
What does she want? ... Let me guess. Perhaps a greencard?
What should you do? .... Until the sh*t hits the ceiling fan, you probably can't do much. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:01:11 PM | From your description, this woman sounds like 100% trouble, and a head-case to boot. I suggest you talk to your friend with a very serious conversation and tell him your honest opinion of her. If he gets pissed off at you - which is entirely possible - just tell him that you are only trying to be his friend and help, and that you have his best interests at heart.
You could lose your friend over this, either way, really. But I think it's best to give him some advice. It's up to him whether or not he decides to take it.
Good luck! | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:01:14 PM | Guy, things happen.
My best friend, and to whom I was the only friend, aside from his pretty good family (brothers, parents, sisters, etc.) got married two years ago. She despised me from the word go. I met her once, when he introduced me to her, or whatever, her to me, and she had to use all her emotional energy not to jeer and sneer at me. She is a gorgeous blonde, he's a gorgeous tall dark handsome man, I am a goofy looking five-foot-for good year blimp. He met me twice in the two years, both times when wifey was touring with her company. (She's a an accountant or technical writer or something for a big firm.)
I was the witness!! to him. On the wedding. He told me "Andrew, I have been asked to tell you you're not the best man, you're my wittness." A world collapsed into ruins for me. That guy and I were okay buddies.
Now what. You can get prepared for this, man. If you cannot do to your friend equally as well as his new woman, in every and all aspects, then... well... she got him. There is no two ways about it.
( Psst... talk to him. As a last resort. Tell him that male love is the new "sexy". Women and children are a dying breed. He may be swayed, you know, it largely depends on your delivery and presentation.) | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:14:53 PM | Welcome to the school of hard knocks. Your buddy is going to get the hard and fast course and degree if he is lucky. You get the degree by default if your friendship can remain after what you have described.
Consider yourself lucky. You are getting a vicarious education on the power of the p*ssy for a man that is insecure. You cannot compete w/ that power she wields. He is her knight in shining armour(insecure men LOVE that) until the grass gets greener on the other side of another fence. She will make him feel like the best man ever until she finds someone better. The most you can do is be there when/if he comes to his senses(she may come back if the grass wasn't really greener).
I would recommend you suggest to him to ALWAYS wrap before a tap. She has probably used babies to get her way.
For the others in the forums, these are not "bitter woman" comments. I have seen several men(my own father included) fall for what the OP described. It has almost always(99.9999% of the time) ended the same way. Be glad your friend doesn't have kids of his own(they would be in a much worse position than you).
Good luck OP, you and your friend will need it to get thru this and move on. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:38:21 PM | Your friend made his choice and he seems content so far with a woman he felt he could "steal" from another guy.
Trying to get between them to "warn" him about her will drive him away from you. And she will resent you, and rightly so from her point of view.
Don't knock yourself out to be nice to her, but do make yourself be polite. Make sure your friend knows you're there for him if he wants to talk, and make sure he knows how to use condoms and also how to inspect them for pinpricks. (Heaven forbid.)
You say she is a "Mexican immigrant" so it's hard for her to find work. I hope you mean she's here legally? Because if not...well, lots of bad things could happen that could really ruin your friend's relationship. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:54:07 PM | | i thinnk u may have to just bow out of this one. i know its tough but men rarely, if ever, choose friendship with a woman over sex with a woman. i dont see u winning this one. i would stop talking to him until he takes out the "trash" permanently. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:08:14 AM | I wouldn't worry about it OP, none of my friend's girlfriends ever liked me either, fortunately they don't stay long.
You can't help your friend, he is young, dumb, and full of cvm, and he has to fvck this up himself to learn. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:58:24 AM | | She has a green card, but has no school past 1st grade, so that's why she can't get a job. He has told me many times he's going to "save" her, so you are probably right, he could be insecure. He has to learn. He already had a vegas wedding with a girl he knew 1 day, I thought he would learn from that. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:46:14 AM | My first guess is that she might see you as a threat; young and single, which is what your friend used to be {operative word here is used. My second guess is that her life hasn't been the easiest {regardless of who, what, when, where, how, and why} and now she has some comforting stability within your friend. She doesn't want that to disappear.
I would suggest that you be a good friend to your buddy and just be there if he needs you. Now, if you need to share your thoughts about this new relationship with him, be careful. You call her "trashy". He really likes her. It's his life and you don't need to be the watch dog. Just be a friend. Instead of going over to his house, why not agree to so something at a different location?
This is his live-in girlfriend and he's inherited an instant family as well. For whatever reason, it's his choice. Be supportive as needed. Reality is, his girlfriend doesn't have to like you, nor do you have to like her. What's between the two of them is what counts in the end. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/5/2009 3:56:41 AM | Tell him "You can't fix broken." and leave it at that. Seems like your friend is the sucker type and nothing you can do is going to change his mind.
Unless you push her over the balcony somewhere..but if you do, make sure its off a tall building..not just 1 story. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/5/2009 4:44:08 AM | | We all have a past! I'm sure some of us aren't always proud of every little thing we have done in our lives. Some things may seem like huge mistakes at the time to others, but at the time, may have seemed like the right thing to do in a given situation. Sure she has kids from previous relationships (quite a few of us do!). Lots of men go for older women too. She may really care for your friend you know, give her the benefit of the doubt for now. She is bound to get all possessive if you are calling her trashy, even if you dont do it to her face, she will get the vibe from you. She may well know you are trying to get him away from her and in those circumstances can you blame her for avoiding letting you be alone with him too long? How about turning up with a little bunch of flowers, an apology and a smile for the woman. Build up a relationship with her for you friends sake in case he does need you at some point in the future. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:57:21 AM | If he's 26 and she's 38, he's probably having the best sex he's ever had.
You can't mess with that. People don't see straight when they're having great sex.
Give them space and let it run it's course. Her controlling ways are a form of abuse, and your friend has chosen to go down this road and unfortunately, all you can do is be there for him when the nightmare comes to a head.
And it will.
If you get involved, all you'll do is ruin your friendship.
Anytime 2 people are dating, they're going to stop spending as much time with their single friends as they use to.
That's just a fact of life you have to learn to deal with. | |
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| she's 28 he's 26. and she hates my guts
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:59:10 PM | | Leave it alone. You gotta take a back seat to this one. You can't compete with this chick. If you say anything you'll be down the road. | |
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