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 callmejen
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 1
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
So I have just started seeing this guy, and at our ages, I know that I won't be making him wait months for sex. If I like him as much as I think I do, weeks might be all I can hold out for. Thing is I'm a virgin for a variety of reasons. Not religious, or waiting for marriage, but just not dating much, and not wanting to have a random hook up with some stranger.

When's the best time to bring it up? I know he's not a virgin, and is probably very experienced. I do want him to know beforehand so he knows to be a little more gentle, and so I can enjoy it too. Should I tell him right off the bat now, or wait a bit until it seems like we are heading in that direction for sure? I don't want to be in the middle of a great make-out session and seem like it's going there, and then pull away, and say 'oh, by the way, I'm a virgin' and freak him out.

Thanks
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 2
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:16:26 PM
Don't say a word about it ahead of time...as he's about to insert his penis, tell him to go slow because it's your first time.

He won't have a problem with that.

In fact he'll probably grow another inch.

 serenwen
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 3
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:26:53 PM
I so so so like Idoc Steve's advice
 TruthinessIncorporate
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 4
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:28:24 PM
Don't bother!

Just wear a T shirt that says on the Front "What do I and a bottle of Olive Oil have in common?"

And on the back..

"I like having my salad tossed and I'm an extra virgin"

I'm sure people would figure it out pretty quick? Just a thought.




Truth, I was a virgin once, then, I was born-TruthinessInc
 Severin78
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 5
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:30:34 PM

Don't say a word about it ahead of time...as he's about to insert his penis, tell him to go slow because it's your first time.


Now I would have a problem with that. Good way to sour the mood in my book, haha.

I've never been one of those 'virgin hunter' guys, I've always been more interested in women with experience, and as such I tend to date around my age and older.
 flyinge36
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 6
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:33:47 PM
I personally prefer if a girl tells me while we are talking somewhere.

if you really like him and he likes you, wouldn't you guys naturally get to a conversation dealing about sex??? you should let him know then. if he's into you it won't be a problem at all.
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 7
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:38:18 PM

I so so so like Idoc Steve's advice


I've been with two virgins in my "sexual career".

One of the two I knew was a virgin..well, she was a "technical virgin" so to speak. I held out, she came around, I knew what to expect, it was a bit snug but it worked out fine.

The second was a pure virgin, and I had no idea until afterwards. When I told her afterwards that it was "a bit tight getting in there" (there was also a bit of blood on me after the fact which I was somewhat curious and concerned about), she said matter of factly "I was a virgin, I thought you knew that!".

Maybe have some nonwarming sexual lubricating gel handy just in case. If it's a bit tight and painful ask him to slap some on and slow it down a bit
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 8
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 12:52:18 PM
Bad piece of advice in my book.

OP, don't wait until he gets you in bed to tell him.

If you feel strongly about him, and he feels the same way, I say go ahead, and tell him.

He might be one of those guy who enjoy popping a cherry.

You never know.

Good luck to you.
 Severin78
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 9
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:26:15 PM

Maybe have some nonwarming sexual lubricating gel handy just in case. If it's a bit tight and painful ask him to slap some on and slow it down a bit


Something about this line just got the song "Strokin'" stuck in my head, the part where he goes "stroke it Clarence Carter, but don't stroke so fast, if my stuff ain't tight enough you can stick it up my ah ha ha!"

Don't blame me. /hide
 monsieurmalaussene
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 10
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:59:26 PM
give him some hints, one today and another tomorrow and he should either get it or ask you if you're a virgin or not, just don't spit it out out of the blue.

You can go like "do you like cherries? how about popping mine?".
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 11
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:01:36 PM

You can go like "do you like cherries? how about popping mine?"


Yes say it like that.

But for maximum effect wait until he has just taken a huge sip of coffee but not yet swallowed.

And stand back
 DosHermanas
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 12
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:04:32 PM
I like I_Doc's answer. The rest are just awful and in rude taste.
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 13
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:06:35 PM
I'd want to know before we fell into bed together. If you've been together for a while and it looks like things are going to get intimate,then speak up. Just be careful not to let things go too far one night without saying anything.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 14
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:09:14 PM
^^^You think I Doc's answers were tastefully done and the other's were not? Hmmm....
OP? Somehow, I think you should take the opportunity to let this fellow know that you are in fact a virgin before you get between the sheets. If the two of you converse well, it shouldn't be difficult. Just take your time and allow what nature intended!
 TruthinessIncorporate
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 15
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:13:08 PM
If all else fails...doesn't HallMark make a card for this type of Holiday?

Nothing says it better, then HallMark.




Truth, Mary had a lil lamb-TruthinessInc
 Shell225
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 16
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:19:00 PM
OP, Im sure that sooner or later the conversation between the two of you is going to become sexual. Thats the time to tell him..

congratulations on your new man..
 carlos64030
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 17
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:44:58 PM
I say you should wait and tell him when you know for sure that the two of you are definitely gonna embark on a sexual escapade.

It should be pretty freakin' awesome for him if you were to whisper it into his ear as you two are sharing passionate oral explorations about the face.
 mogrl42
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 18
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:55:08 PM
Just be honest with him and tell him the truth.Don`t wait till both of you are naked,tell him ahead of time so it can be a good experience for you.
 OttawaJohnM
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 19
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/6/2009 11:42:15 AM
You could always start a conversation like "So.... ummm... you know when you buy a new pair of shoes and they're not quite broken in? You know, a little tight so you take it easy for a bit? Yeah..... I'm like that..."
 twilight.eclipse
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 20
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/6/2009 11:48:52 AM
I think you should tell him beforehand...and not immediately beforehand...so everyone has a chance to adjust to the reality of it and can walk into it with no regrets...that's all that matters, right ? =)
 billsmith1970
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 21
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:08:39 PM
I would prefer to know ahead of time, versus waiting to the last minute. There are a lot more emotional ties involved and in my opinion and experience it was much better knowing ahead of time. I had a young lady wait until the moment occurred to tell me and immediately felt horrible as she went on to profess her love and I was not at that level of emotional bonding. But we were young and I learned. The next time it came up before hand and when the time came that we became intimate it was so much more and actually took me to the next level of emotional bonding.

When you tell him is up to you, but also depends on what you want out of the relationship. If this may be the guy for you for a long time or forever, then tell him earlier and let him profess the same level of emotional bonding before becoming intimate. Otherwise you will never know if you wasted that very precious gift.

Bill
 Chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 22
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:22:06 PM
While I like the idea of I doc's advice, I do think it's probably better to tell him ahead of time. I was with a woman once who told me she was a virgin AS WE WERE HAVING SEX! I felt bad as I would liked to have known beforehand.

It's hard to say exactly when but you should also follow it up with the fact that you are open to have sex and aren't waiting for marriage.
 oohlala21
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 23
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:29:40 PM
I think IDoc's advice is really bad, actually.

Culture changes over time. Like, a lot. I know a lot of younger guys (like college guys) who are very much turned off by the idea of virgins.

Hopefully if you found someone who liked you for you it wouldn't matter too much either way, but I think being ready to do it and then having someone reject you because you were a virgin would be pretty upsetting.
 isntafraid
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 24
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When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:37:51 PM
I wouldn't say anything about it- I am sure as a young guy, he'd like to know he took your virginity so he could tell his friends ( I would). If it starts to hurt, tell him to slow down. If he doesn't hit it and forget it, let him know a few months later he was your first.
 CharmedinKtown
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 25
When should I tell him I'm a virgin?
Posted: 7/6/2009 1:02:22 PM
After years of waiting, why would you throw your cherry to someone you have only known for weeks? Boggles the mind.

And tell him as soon as possible.

And "he is probably very experienced".... if you haven't discussed sexual history at all then you aren't ready. How bout you start with that... maybe he will understand, or maybe he IS just a random hookup. You just don't know after all.
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