| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:08:58 PM | Hey all,
I am fairly new to the whole online dating thing. I registered on this a while back but never really utilized it. I didn't even know there were forums on here. ahahaha
As the thread title reads, is it weird? I am really bad at trying to get out what I'm trying to say in writing and really prefer to just meet up and decide whether there is any chemistry or not.
thanks for any input. | |
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| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:13:12 PM | | It's not weird at all. I would personally progress to the next step first, maybe chatting via IM (Yahoo or AIM, the IM here never works for me) or talking on the phone. I would want to talk on the phone to someone before meeting them. But I think it's best to meet someone fairly soon after you start talking to someone, rather than talking for weeks on end, only to finally meet and find out that (1) there's no chemistry in person or worse, (2) the person is either not the person in the pictures or they've used old, or deceptive pictures, and they've been completely deceptive in some way. I wouldn't want to waste all that time, if there's not going to be a connection. | |
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| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:14:31 PM | Not at all.
In some cases I have exchanged phone numbers after two and met in person after only three.
In other cases I have exchanged numbers after several emails and long discussions through IM.
Depends on the person, how comfortable you are with them and how comfortable they are with you. | |
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BGwL
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Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 7 | |
| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:20:17 PM | I guess some people think so
I have found some guys think it's great and are surprised that a woman is confident enough to move forward.
Other guys? I never hear from. Have decided it must be an on line dating faux pas.
Some guys I have dated tell me that it's wrong and you have to move slowly.
I think that you need to do what is comfortable for you and the right woman will respond as you think. Then you know they are on the same page as you.
I think men think women that quickly give numbers, want to meet, are only looking for quickies. I think I don't want to be with a guy that is that insecure.
So I will keep being me and hopefully, find that guy.
Good luck in your search. | |
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| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:04:10 PM | I'm not good at small talk either, and probably run off the paranoid online folks with my "I'd rather meet over a drink and talk openly" emails.
Online, I'm not so much of an open book, so I don't ask or encourage more than general questions before meeting. MC | |
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| You are not...
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:13:14 PM |
I'm not good at small talk either, and probably run off the paranoid online folks with my "I'd rather meet over a drink and talk openly" emails.
Online, I'm not so much of an open book, so I don't ask or encourage more than general questions before meeting. MC
...the only woman who feels this way at all.
I once messaged, spoke to, and met someone all in the same day...and managed to do the first two all while sitting in my office.
The last gal I dated back in Toronto was also similar....it took us a while to meet because of various logistical issues, but I think there may have been two messages and two phone calls. | |
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| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:26:27 PM | Okay, you're 30 yrs old.... have you been dating before doing online dating?
Do you have any friends who are married or in relationships?
Online dating is really no different than regular dating you're just looking thru all these pics and basically reading the profiles when you find the woman attractive.
Don't drag something on for weeks. Send an email finding you have xyz in common, and see if she writes back. If she does, ask if she would prefer to IM or exchange numbers. After 2-3 emails, IM's move it to the phone.
Let me share something with you, that other's just don't get, CHEMISTRY = LUST. The chemistry you think you have with someone is just a sexual attraction, if there isn't anything else there, in a few weeks or a month, you'll be looking for someone new.
The number one reason why people are still on this site, they expect to know in 5 minutes if they're a match.  | |
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| You are not...
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:31:28 PM | Generally, there are two camps: the let's meet right away and see if there is any interest, why spend hours messaging back and forth only to discover, on meeting, that there's no sparks. And then there's the let's get to know each other a bit and then, if there is real interest, meet to see if it holds in real life.
I've tried it both ways, either works... just don't make it online forever, if you're going slow at it, I'd say no more than a few weeks or a month at the outside, otherwise the online can take on a life of its own.
Because of logistics and my getting sick, it took about a month before my sweetie and I met. We knew each other so well at that point that it would have been extraordinarily disappointing if we hadn't "taken" in real life. | |
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| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:22:22 AM | "Okay, you're 30 yrs old.... have you been dating before doing online dating?
Do you have any friends who are married or in relationships?
Online dating is really no different than regular dating you're just looking thru all these pics and basically reading the profiles when you find the woman attractive.
Don't drag something on for weeks. Send an email finding you have xyz in common, and see if she writes back. If she does, ask if she would prefer to IM or exchange numbers. After 2-3 emails, IM's move it to the phone.
Let me share something with you, that other's just don't get, CHEMISTRY = LUST. The chemistry you think you have with someone is just a sexual attraction, if there isn't anything else there, in a few weeks or a month, you'll be looking for someone new.
The number one reason why people are still on this site, they expect to know in 5 minutes if they're a match."
Yeah I actually got out of a long relationship when I made this account. for the last year or so, I've just been dating on and off but nothing really good. that's why I am giving up on going out and thought to give this a try. I don't really have problems meeting women, it's just the wrong ones all the time. LOL
Just thought maybe online dating will eliminate all the time wasting but I guess this is no different. I guess I should stop considering online thing as the express check out at the grocery store. ahahaha | |
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| You are not...
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:36:35 AM |
...the only woman who feels this way at all. Did you mean to say that I am....
If you did, how would you know how most women feel?!
I know plenty of women who think it's playing fast and loose with one's safety if one doesn't email, and chat for weeks or months, before exchanging phone numbers, than possibly the meeting. I don't know what your field of study is, so maybe you do know more about how women feel, than a woman might... I always consider YMMV... MC | |
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| You are not...
Posted: 7/6/2009 1:35:35 AM | I have no intention of posting trivia for months before meeting someone who interests me. As I am only looking for friendship and not any sexual fling then it has to be someone in my on area. I know what I am looking for, and if she is not looking for the same, then I am the wrong person for her.
Why then delay the meet? lets go for a cup of coffee at an early opportunity and if that seems OK neither of us are wasting time and we can develop things as they go from then on. | |
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| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/6/2009 2:04:31 AM | | I prefer to meet up as soon as possible. It's hard to be able to tell someones sincerity through emails and you are nat able to utilize your non verbal communication skills like facial expression, the way he or she sits etc. I am not on here to be just a chat goon like most people that have been on here for 5 and 6 years only to use this as a chat place. I have friends and I dont need to use this as a chat place. I can chat with my friends outside of this place. I am looking for my soulmate and that is why I am on here. | |
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| is it weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails?
Posted: 7/6/2009 2:17:23 AM | | Who knows anymore, so many people on here have so many different rules you can't win. I read on one post where a woman said if you don't meet after the third call she's gone, while others seem to want to take months before meeting you. The kicker being that they all think that if you don't know their way, then there is something wrong with you. No two women are alike, but most will find a reason to be mad at you. | |
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| it is NOT weird to ask someone to meet up after a couple of emails
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:43:29 AM | You should do what's comfortable for you. This way you will attract a person compatible with you.
I've met with people right away, in some cases made some friends this way and in other cases, I have eliminated endless hours of typing with those I wouldn't be interested at all.
If you're into a a pen-pal, then keep emailing.
If your goal is to actually date, then actually go out on a date before someone else snags her.
*smiles* | |
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ahahaha I just wish they would atleast tell me that she is not interested.
