| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:25:41 AM | Sometimes in rare cases we hear of the reallt attractive woman who does not get approached. These women claim guys are intimidated by them. Then you have the other claim that when guys to approach them it is not the ones they want.
My question to you ladies is do you feel you are attractive and guys are intimidated by your looks? I know guys assume you're taken or fear rejection because quite frankly you ladies can be mean that way and it ends up being a story you share with your girlfriends that night in the bathroom in the club. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:30:24 AM | I have a friend who is drop dead gorgeous. But the guys approach me, turns out I smile more than she does . When men approach her she gets tongue tied and I can talk to just about anyone. When a guy smiles at me in public, I smile back, she scowls and looks away, because she's afraid she might have to talk to someone she doesn't already know and she is terrified she isn't as smart or well read as she would like to be.
It isn't just how you look, it is you ability to interact with other people as well. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:38:29 AM | I don't think men are intimidated by my looks and I've never thought that I was all that or highly attractive.
However, I have noticed men assume too much about me. They assume I'm talking to dozens of men...that I have so many men online talking to me that they don't stand a chance. That I have dates lined up around the corner etc. I am constantly asked all the time.
Why don't you have a bf/husband?
Why are you home on a Friday night?
I am very shy in meeting new people. My friends are all ''taken'' so while I used to go out a lot with them, that doesn't happen anymore. I don't particularly like going out alone, though i sometimes do venture out.
And I really don't seem to attract the type of man I'm looking for. Always the exact opposite it seems. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:01:03 AM | I get the "you are intimidating" line a lot. I don't believe it. I think it is bs that a guy spews because he is not interested. I can't imagine what about me would be intimidating.
I am frustrated by men who will look but not approach. I always make eye contact and try to find a way to say hi if I am interested. I have never understood what is so hard about that. *shrug* | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:14:21 AM | I consider myself attractive, but my looks are also average.
I have yet to come across men intimidated by my looks. Believe me when I tell you that they are not at all intimidating.
If they are, I wouldn't know about it. Unless of course, they tell me about it. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:34:43 AM | I'm someone people either really like what I look like or they really don't. For some reason I tend to draw the extremes, both ways lol.
I know many many times my daughter and I will be out in public and I will be focusing on something and she always people watches; and she will crack up laughing at someone being REALLY obvious in scoping me out supposedly (she's always turning heads; so she notices when they turn my way instead of hers I guess lol); and I had no earthly idea. But I am very very rarely approached in public; if it wasn't for her I'd have no idea I supposedly turn heads quite a lot (according to her); because I don't notice people in public when I'm "on a mission"; but when I meet people in whatever capacity I've been told I'm extremely easy to talk to. I guess I'm unapproachable out of the blue, but told I'm very approachable if I'm in a conversation where the person is already there; whatever that means. But I'm always happy for people to introduce themselves; I really like people. Always have.
Don't assume rejection or coldness. People can always surprise. :) | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:53:09 AM | I'm with "raiderfan18" on this one...her dilema is my dilema.
I know mens egos are fragile but most men do assume a lot about me which simply isn't the case at all. I don't talk to a lot of men and don't have dates lined up around the corner.... I can be kinda shy until I feel comfortable around you.....people that know me find this hard to believe. I've been told I'm unapproachable, perhaps its the way I carry myself ( I walk like a dancer, straight back and excellent posture) I dress well and have been told I don't look my age, younger by about 5-7 years, I have a good job and can take care of myself, I'm smart and not afraid to share an opinion, I love decorating so my apartment looks great ( as it should its my sanctuary).
I can't change who I am. I've been told by people who aren't afraid of me and have taken the time to get know me that I'm nothing like they assumed I was. Maybe its a good thing because I'm not attracted to men that are afraid to approach me, when he is comfortable with who he is, it makes me come out of my shell too.
I'm attracted to men that are usually too confident ( at least thats how they play) but once we get closer they backoff too...because they are more insecure than most....again fragile egos. Mostly I like men that aren't afraid to go after what they want and are able to see at the end of the day ..." I'm just a girl looking for love". | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:06:19 AM | I don't think it's about being attractive at all, I think it's all body language with me. I like men who have some idea of what they want to talk about when approaching, because when I approach men I have something to say. I tend to be the type to walk around and work a room, so I guess that puts men off - I'm not one to sit somewhere and wait for people to come to me. To get my attention you literally have to walk in front of me and flag me down.
This is mostly because when I go places I go for the atmosphere, and love meeting and talking to new people but I'm rarely ever in a frame of mind where I'm looking for men.
For a guy to be intimidated by my looks would be kinda silly - I am quick on my feet thought so when you approach me be prepared to engage in some serious conversation. I may come off as shy, but mostly it's indifference.
And yes, the men who approach me are usually not my type - I tend to like the less aggressive type, as they annoy me - so anyone who can approach me with little or no sweat would have to be someone who approaches anyone and everyone, and those guys don't do it for me. Luckily, they also don't dwell on my response long either.
I tend to approach guys I like, because they don't tend to approach me - weird, but that's the way it works for me. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:37:36 AM | | I would say i was relatively attractive and i guess at times i can be intimidating as can most males and females. Its not about looks its about body language and attitude. If you are out for a night out with the girls have a bf or whatever then sub consciensly your body language changes and you can put out dont come near me vibes. Its not nessiarily the case that you are unappraochable its just that you are out on a girls night out and not to pull some drunk guy in a pub etc. I also have a friend who always has the intimidating look and never is approached by men, purley and simply because of the way she was treated in the past her natural defence mechanism makes her seem unapproachable when really she is approachable. there are many diff reasons for this, but i dont think its just a woman thing it goes the same way for men too. as for being approached by the wrong type of guys, lets face it everyone has been approached by someone they just don't like at least once in their lives........ i usually get older, fat balding drunken guys slobbering over me who really couldnt bite their finger......... this is not attractive to most women lol. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:13:37 AM | Goddess I will agree with the above^^^^^^^ however I find that woman or men for that matter that are taken get hit on the most... they have the vibe that they just don't care because they do have someone at home waiting for them...they are just there to havea good time.
When I was in a relationship I got hit on all the time, never thinking it would be difficult to find a nice guy when single...WRONG!!!! I guess I transcend different energy now that I'm actually single...more reserved, I was a much better flirt was I was with my ex. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 11:00:18 AM | | I have long think somewhat unique looking hair that seems to make people look at me. In all honesty thou, I dont really enjoy it. People rarely come up and approach me but I think that is because of my body language. I hate that everywhere I go I feel like people are starring at me and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Honestly, I would actually prefer they come up and say something instead of just looking at me. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 11:10:29 AM | On Samantha's
don't know if I fully agree with that across the board; when I was in my almost 22 year marriage, it was exactly the same for me as it has been since.
But then my attitude is still the same as it was then; when I was married I was in a relationship and not looking; and now that i'm single, i"m very content with my life and not someone who "needs" to find someone; when i'm in public and doing my activities I'm not "on the hunt" lol. Maybe I should look in real life; but I never have, nor have I ever noticed when someone's looking at me. I've always only kind of been available on my downtime when I was done multitasking and had time to sort my thoughts and interact.
And I've never been a flirt in my life. I talk to everybody exactly the same. Always have; though sometimes I'm taken different by guys different than I intend, they "hear" me WAY different sometimes. it surprises me how I'm perceived. Sometimes I can't help but laugh (though I try hard not to) by how totally bad I'm butchered on occasion and by who... but it's always interesting :) (and it's still all good) | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:24:02 PM | I think I'm attractive, but in an average type of way...although I'm very friendly, people often tell me they thought I was conceited/snobbish/aloof when they were first in my presence. I'm NONE of that! I think I tend to carry myself in a somewhat conservative nature when I'm in public, especially if I'm by myself. Perhaps it's because my father is a politician and it was repeated to me over and over to "behave like a lady" and "you live your life on stage...people are always watching you." Perhaps I took it to the extreme!
The reality is one minute, I'm a total clown...the next minute, I can thoroughly discuss a serious topic...but I know I have to sometimes remember to smile more often...when I do, guys definitely approach me more.
I've also had guys tell me they thought I was in a relationship...and I constantly get a look of disbelief when guys find out I do not have children...and I'm not in a rush unless it's with the right person. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:30:40 PM | | i just posted a forum about this situation i have men tell me i am very "intimidating" kinda makes me mad . I think im attractive but i deff wouldnt be a 10 | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:30:48 PM | I don't share stories of my relationships with girfriends in bathrooms. I'm saving them for a book. I will write it when I'm really realy old, when my grandchildren are off to college.
It's not like the guys assume I'm taken. In most cases it seems that they feel they don't measure up to me. Let's see: looks like a retired model, superior education, good sence of humor, can take care of herseld financially. Where does he fit in? No wonder many of them run away scared. On the other hand, do need someone who is much less than myself? If he is intimidated - the door is thatta way, don't let it hit him on the way out. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:33:24 PM | Oh yeah, I intimidate guys alright but is has nothing to do with my looks  | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:13:16 PM | I look for the guys with the dark glasses and the white canes. They're SOOO nice to talk to!  I DO avoid those that have the dogs though, those dogs are mean. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:17:05 PM | | I think I am rather attractive. Will even venture to claim I am quite pretty. Definitely have a sparkle in my eyes when I smile. However, It's never been my looks that intimidate men. Most men say they are intimidated by my sometimes aggressiveness. I tend to go after exactly what I want and not be happy until I have achieved it or gotten it. Several men who've known me for a while or have been friends with me tell me they feel they'd never be able to keep up or measure up. I kind of find this odd... I am just me. | |
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| Question for the ladies
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:04:13 PM |
No..I feel they are intimidated by the ugly stick I got beaten with. | |
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