| Aim..... fire away
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:21:12 AM | 
As for a long vs short profile, I aimed for short in hopes of people not being too tired to read it. Please critique and advise for this online realm is a wild and strange place.
Trying to learn the local customs and the law of the land. Thanks!  | |
|
| Aim..... fire away
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:51:32 AM | Being honest I couldn't feel the humanity. (I know I know, it's not aimed at me)
I could feel some walls in place and a sense that you don't want to be here.
Feels very negative, especially the "rant:"
The written word is tricky to get across emotion so even if you put a joke in there, it will more likely look serious than fun.
Expecting people to message you is just sending out a big "no no" sign. "Oh he's expecting me to message him eh?"
It's hard enough to get responses on the whole without demanding them.
To add on a positive note though, good clear pics and the first date section makes perfect sense. Maybe not a movie as that is a place you sit for a good 2 hours in silence.
Hope I wasn't too harsh. What say anyone else? | |
|
| Aim..... fire away
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:10:40 AM | Hobbies:
I like to watch shows like fringe, play board games, travel when funds are available (sometimes even when they are not) and spend time with my family.
I would take out "when funds are available (sometimes even when they are not). That makes you sound like you don't have money & discipline.
Goals:
Keep going to school for a bigger degree, work, eat lots of chocolate, learn to dance
I would rephrase "keep going to school" What type of bigger degree? Are you getting an MBA, master of teaching, a PHD or what? You are 31, not a little kid any more. Saying keep going to school for a bigger degree makes people think you've been in school for ever & don't know what you want to do.
Rant:
I'm unique because.... dammit I am. I create my own sense of reality and all should adjust accordingly. Just as I plan to message a few folks before I abandon this site, I expect a few folks to message me of their own initiative. You'll be richly rewarded with the opportunity to hang out with me :)
I would take this out. I know you are trying to sound funny but most people are going to read you as an angry &**** person.
I would talk more about your personality & what you are looking for in your date, not just your hobby. | |
|
| Aim..... fire away
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:57:52 AM | Wow, this stuff kind of stings but it's a necessary evil. thnx again.
I'll rewrite the rant, for I do love to do so and it's important for me to at least convey that aspect. I guess that one just sucked. Not harsh at all sax71, I always apreciate honesty.
I thought the funds party was honest and funny. We all fight to maintain a balanced budget but our reality is that travel is not easy to pull off. Does it really come off as cheapskatish?
Well I have two Bachelor's and I took courses equivalent to an Ed degree, so I have been in school forever and I enjoy doing so. I guess if it seems too flaky I can change that too.
Sarcasm can be easily confused with anger... damn this is brutal.
 | |
|
| Aim..... fire away
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:58:56 PM | A few edits later.... how does it look now?
 | |
|
Home
login 
