| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:48:56 PM | hiya.. trying to move on and get over someone is really hard, im sure plenty of you would agree, especially when its all over through no fault of your own, it hurts and im sick of hurting, thing is, i feel so alone now, i have no friends or family around me, i have my 2 children who i love to bits, but adult company is something i miss dearly. i have no friends and dont go out anywhere cos going out on ya own aint much fun. how do i start to get back out there without feeling like an idiot, cos i know before long, im not gonna venture out of the house at all :(
please no micky takes, this is hard enough for me to deal with as it, and even typing this is hard
loretta | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:54:32 PM | How old are you children?
If you need a babysitter can you get one?
Sign up to one of the POF meets if you are able to get the time to go, its a great way of making new friends, male and female.
I moved to this area knowing no-one but made friends through jobs, toddler groups, nursery and school gates getting to know other mums. | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:55:10 PM | Hi retta, sorry to hear you are blue, its a horrid situation to be in but it can get better.
You are in the right place here, try emailing both males and females in your area or just from the forums who seem like nice people and who are looking for friendship on the looking for bit on their profiles and get chatting to them.
Before you know it you might be out on friends only dates and getting on and making new friends.
Try not to focus on the bad side of things in your life, try to focus on the good (if you can), if you feel you can't and dont want to or need to see the doctor then try self help websites that can help boost your self esteem and general outlook on life.
Google something like "local groups for singles in my area" or walking groups or anything. Yeah it might sound "granny" but my aunt (who is in her early 4os) has joined a walking group to occupy her time for an afternoon a week, she has met lots of people from different walks of life and really enjoys it.
Being lonely is such a horrible place to be, but if you make yourself get out there then things can only get better for you.
Good luck and keep your chin up
xx | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:01:27 PM | Have you only just had a break up from someone?
If so try and do some 'me' time things. Even maybe try and get along to some of the meets from here.
Feeling lonely can be a tough thing but if you find things to keep you busy you will overcome some of that lonliness.
I think everyone feels lonely at some stage of their life but just try not let it get you down..x | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:04:27 PM |
I moved to this area knowing no-one but made friends through jobs, toddler groups, nursery and school gates getting to know other mums
I was pretty much the same, now a couple of years down the line I know enough people to be able to get a sitter if I need one, have made enough friends to be able to have a good night in the village pub, most of the people I have met through school, once the novelty of me being a single dad wore off and I got my head round the idea of joining some of the groups, cookery, tai chi and suchlike, life started to pick up for me and I stoped feeling so isolated, I know its tough at first OP, but trust me, sitting at home worrying about your future is a real depressant, get out there and kick some ass! | |
|
OKRob
|
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 6 | |
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:08:09 PM | Don't feel down. I know it's hard because the things you descirbe are very familiar to me from a few years back . There are some great people here that can hopefully bring a smile to your face. Just be patient with yourself and getting over a relationship. It can't happen over night. Try to have patience x x  | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:10:48 PM | | hey guys, thanks for your replies, i suppose this is the 1st step for me actually talking to people, its nice to hear things will get better cos at the mo it just feels like they never will, i will take all ur comments on board thankyou :) | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:11:14 PM | Breaking up sucks, don't it?
Depending on the age-range of your munchkins, you can find child-friendly venues. Hammersmith Irish Arts Centre is kid-friendly, as is Camden Irish Centre, Cecil Sharp House in Camden also has some good events aimed at families. Cecil Sharp, especially has a wide range of music, so if one gig doesn't suit, then there'll be others.
'Tis normal for most parents, you end up craving adult conversation that doesn't revolve around child-care and children. | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/6/2009 4:15:00 PM | Gawd! I remember those days. It was bloody awful.
I also remember getting dragged out by well meaning friends when I really felt like a fish out of water, but eventually it will feel good again. Life in general will feel good in time.
As others have said, you could go down the usual paths of meeting people to get out, but there's no harm in hanging out in the forums. Takes your mind off other things.
Big hugs to you,
S | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 3:13:25 AM | Loretta
I know it doesn't seem like it right now but one day today and yesterday will seem like distant memories and you will stop hurting. Try not to wish that time away though because when you feel hurt it's the first stage you need to go through in order to heal. It might not feel like much fun but crying is also good for you. When you are in a slightly more up-beat mood, grab your local paper and see what sort of community things you have going on in your area....you could also try the library. I'm sure there will be local playgroups too so perhaps you can get a little time for yourself too. Someone mentioned Cecil Sharp House for music activities. I'm not sure if you live near there but I used to have so much fun going there to the Irish barn dances and Saturday night folk dance when I lived in Camden. You don't need to go with anyone and everyone there is extremely friendly and you won't be left sitting down alone for long. Going on the forums can be good for the soul too as I have found. Just do what you feel ready to do but don't force it either. Take care. x | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 3:16:31 AM | Things will get better, don't be afraid to talk to other parents at school, shops etc, kids are actually a great icebreaker.
Also as someone said, posting on places like this is a great way of meeting like minded individuals, maybe go along to one of the meets. | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:26:57 AM | I totally know where the OP is coming from.
I had long abandoned all my friends when I was in my marriage, I just had 'his' friends.
So when I was once single again I came online 2 and a half years ago, found a very popular social networking side  and found all my old friends on there...
It was fantastic, now I have a brilliant social life once again, have over 500 friends on the network site whom I have met from town etc on nights out and LOADS of old friends, its fantastic.
Good luck xx | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:35:06 AM | wow I thought I was the only one - same happened to me, we moved miles away from friends and family. I got stuck into my career and my partner was my best mate.
Then suddenly without warning or reason we split up - DOH! I'm alone.
I'm working on it - talking to a lot of old friends on FB and some new ones on here.
Pain has gone but still on the going out alone stage (unless i want to drive for hours!) but dont feel so lonely any more.
Chin up OP, apparently you're not as alone as you think you are. Just keep working at it.
The pain will go just as the others say, and then the lonliness will go soon after.
We'll all be ok in the end  | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:34:25 AM | thank you all so very much, its nice to know there is actually people out there who dont think im at all stupid and understand where i am comming from, thank you also for ur private messages. im so glad i left this post on here, i feel it was my 1st step to getting back to being me and happy again
thank you all xxx | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:32:34 PM | 1) Drink till your liver shuts down.
2) Become a smack head so all you can think of is your next fix.
3) Take up something you can do on your own (Running, gym, gardening etc) focus on that.
It will make you less dependent on someone else and stronger within yourself.
I chose option 1 | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:53:34 PM | Hi Loretta.
Once after a break up I went and had some councelling from someone who also happened to be an old friend. Expecting pearls of professional wisdom from him, at the end he just said 'You know what, sometimes life's just shit!' And he was right. Life can't be fun all the time. You WILL look back to this as a distant and not particularly important memory someday. I have no practical advice to offer you but I hope it works out. | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:58:29 PM | Hi Loretta,
sorry to hear your feeling blue. I think everybody goes through what you describe at some point. I would reiterate what the vast majority of other posters have advised. IE: Go to meets etc..
Good luck. | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:58:51 PM | | Other local single mums are great. Evenings where the kids run about and you get some company. People to go out with when the kids are at their dads (those weekends are the toughest when you're on your own) Ready made baby sitting circle. We even have weekends away camping with the kids | |
|
~im40~
|
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 19 | |
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:01:44 PM | awwhh I think we have all been where you are right now! You are definately come to the right site, there are lots of us on here looking for friendship. Ive been here on and off for over a year now, and have met some great people, and I know some of them will be in my life forever!!! get along to one of the Pof meets in your area, most of them do a premeet before hand so if your on your own you can meet one or two before hand, and it makes it easier for you if you dont like going in a club or bar alone.
there are lots of events going on, not always in a pub! there are picnics and camping where the children are welcome to attend also. everyone is really friendly at the meets and Im sure you`ll meet some likeminded people and lifelong friends.
take up a hobby if you havent got one already, you can meet people socially who have the same interests as you, and keep yourself busy.
 | |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:19:23 PM | Loretta, it does get easier with time and one day you will notice that those lead boots have come off. Make yourself do stuff, make yourself get outta of the house, it doesnt necessarily have to be going out and partying, perhaps you are not ready for that, do other stuff, perhaps stuff HE used to moan about or belittle...stuff you have always fancied doing.
Pretty much what everyone has said really, choose the bits that sound good to you.
| |
|
| feeling lonely...
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:52:35 PM | Jats 99
You say some lovely things, and you are right as you always are....
Loretta.......
Doing learning courses will help you to gain your self esteem and gain new friends.
I have found this a good way to recover from hurt and aloneness.  | |
|
Home
login 
